0219 Female Led Relationships: Using Edging for Control, Connection, and Denial

Okay, one, two. This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you are not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and would love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Welcome back. Episode 19. Today, we are going to talk about edging. Here is my plan for the next three weeks of podcasts. So this week, we're going to talk about edging. Next week, I want to talk about orgasm denial and orgasm control. And then, in hypothetical land or putting out positive vibes, the following week, I would like to have my subbie on with me and we are going to talk about whether these things are a necessity for a successful long-term female-led relationship or if there are female-led relationships out there that don't have these and are still successful. So that is my plan. Stay tuned to see if my plans work. First, let's address some housekeeping. My first thing for housekeeping. Everything, I mean, it's been a crazy busy week. My OnlyFans is back to free, but I think I addressed that on a previous episode. And the hope for OnlyFans is this summer to get a bunch of content out more related to my husband being in chastity and things of that nature. That is also a place where you can go to order erotic audios if you are interested. But let's dive in to edging. Before we get too deep into the topic of edging, let's talk about orgasms. Is everybody aware of how orgasms work or the stages of orgasm? You have your excitement. Everything is stimulated and your blood feels warm and blood is flowing to all the fun parts of your body. And your plateau is everything from stage one being enhanced even more. Then you have your orgasm. That great rush of pleasure and mind-numbing pleasure. I mean, if you're doing it right. And then you have your last stage where you're kind of coming down. And to me, the stages after you have an orgasm are almost similar to like a sub drop or even a down drop. I mean, everything is so heightened and you're so excited. And after everything calms down, you start to come down. And some people experience trouble getting aroused again for sometimes hours, sometimes days. So don't be fearful if that happens. I think that's normal, especially if it was extremely intense. This is a topic I did some research on. And I'm fascinated by what I learned. My friend Google says, edging, peeking or surfing is a sexual technique whereby your orgasm is controlled, practiced alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching climax. So my slang definition is, so you get right to the metaphorical edge right before you're about to come and you stop all stimulation for like 30 seconds. And then you stop the stimulation for about 30 seconds and start stimulating again. And then right when you get to the edge, you stop. And you do this as long as you want until you're ready to climax. The interesting thing to me is I would have never thought of doing this alone. Like I would have in the past, but it hasn't been any time recent. It wasn't just the other day. But have done this to my subbie, but I never thought to do it to myself. And you may be asking, why the fuck would you want to do this? Well, let me tell you. One of the biggest reasons I think most people participate in edging is because it increases the strength of your orgasm. Gives you a stronger orgasm, makes it more intense, maybe lasts longer. There's lots of reason to do it. I don't know if I have the willpower to do it. Like I get right to that edge and I'm like, fuck it, here we go. Some tips for if you are going to try edging by yourself or with your partner. Learn their telltale signs of when they are close to orgasming. You're really going to have to know your partner to be able to participate in this, I would think. For yourself, obviously, you know when you're close and you know when to stop because it's you and you are feeling it. So tip number one, just to summarize a little bit, is know your partner and obviously know yourself. Be aware of when they are close to orgasming so that you can stop the stimulation. It might be better to practice on your own first and kind of get the idea of how it works and maybe see what the benefits are or how much more intense your orgasm is. Okay, so this is something that, and this is off track, but that's how my podcast works and thank you all for riding along. But it's something that I've said to my daughter and I know I've mentioned this on past podcasts. How do you have sex with somebody when you don't know what you enjoy? Like it's very important for you to explore your own body, what feels good, what you enjoy, so that you can tell your partner what you enjoy and the things that you enjoy so that it's a pleasurable experience for both of you. But there's such a stigma around masturbation, I think. It is interesting to me why it's so uncomfortable for people to masturbate. Like I would masturbate in front of my partner, I don't give a shit. It's about me, hence why we're in a female-led relationship. Also, you may need to use sex toys if that is how you are stimulated and don't feel ashamed for using sex toys. I would love to have a much larger sex toy collection. And that is also an interesting topic because the guy that I dated before my husband was all bent out of shape that I had a vibrator. Like, oh, what, I don't do it for you? Listen, men, just because women have toys doesn't mean you don't do it for them. It's different. It's a totally different sensation. And we are complicated creatures. Sometimes adding that to the playtime with your partner just intensifies everything. Don't fucking get all butthurt because your partner wants to bring in a sex toy. Think of it as adding some spice to your sex. Don't take it as a diss. Just my thoughts. You can also use edging as a form of foreplay. I mean, that's pretty fucking hot. Another thing edging is good for is strengthening your pelvic floor, getting yourself right to the edge and stopping. So it's a great workout for your vagina. I mean, really, edging is just seeming like a good thing to do. And a final thing that edging is good for that I didn't know, but it actually makes sense to me in a previous conversation, comes to mind with our besties from camp. But edging is great for anal play newbies. Now, we have discussed pegging multiple times on this podcast, but this was a tip that I found interesting. We had this conversation last summer at their table on their big deck that I miss very much already. And camp hasn't even started, but back on track. We were discussing pegging play, and he had mentioned that getting a blowjob first made the experience way more pleasurable. So how that ties into this is if you're doing edging and you're getting right to the edge and you stop and you're getting right to the edge and you stop, it's also allowing you to relax. Relaxation equals pleasurable anal play. You don't want a tight butthole if you're going to try and stick something in it. Let me just summarize this part a little bit. Okay, so we discussed what edging was, getting yourself right to the edge, stopping, letting yourself kind of calm down a little bit, going back, adding more stimulation. This can be done with you or your partner, just alone or with your partner. And some of the tips or benefits of edging. Tip, learn how long it takes your partner to get to the point of ejaculation or know your body enough to know when you're right at the edge to know when to stop. Practice on your own first before trying with a partner. Use sex toys. You could use it as a form of foreplay. It strengthens your pelvic floor, and it's great for anal play. And listen, who doesn't want things that help with anal play? Now, when I was doing my research, there are also articles out here that give you actual tips for edging or different techniques. I found a bunch of them. If you're looking for more information on how to specifically do edging, those articles are out there. And if anybody's interested, I can share a few that I found. Just shoot me an email, let me know, and I will send you the link to the ones that I found the most helpful. There's some different ways you can edge with your partner. You can obviously masturbate till they're just on the brink and stop, and that's where knowing your partner and how, you know, knowing their telltale signs of when they're about ready to come. Like, I can always tell when my subbie's about ready to come. It's... I just can tell. But that is an important aspect. You don't want to go too far, and then they can't stop it or whatever. So you could do it with masturbation. You could do it with slow penetration during sex. And I've had to do this with partners in the past where they just get it in, and then you can't move for, like, 30 seconds because they're so fucking worked up that they're going to blow their load immediately. And what fun is that? But, you know, I had that kind of relationship for many years before I met my husband. You can also switch between oral, anal, and vaginal sex to do the edging. So there's lots of options out there. And again, I found so much information. I'm just kind of skimming over this to give you an idea. I'm sure everybody knows what edging is, but I just kind of wanted to break it down in layman's terms. The other thing I want to talk about is how can edging be beneficial in your female-led relationship? We're not going to talk about if it's necessary because I want that on a future episode, but let's talk about how you can use it in a female-led relationship. So, I mean, edging alone, if you're going to do it to yourself, it can be something where you kind of prime the pump, so to speak, before a play session with your partner. Or it can be something that you do prior to a play session with your partner. Or it can be something that you do with your partner laying right next to you and not allowing them to touch you while you sit there and masturbate. You can do this with your partner. Maybe you use it as a punishment. Maybe you use it as a reward. I mean, it really just depends on what your dynamic is and what you're looking for. So the first things that come to mind for me and how edging would work in our female-led relationship specifically is, one, as a punishment factor, I would lay in my bed with him next to me and not allow him to touch me while I play with my bullet and get myself there, stop, get myself there, stop, and not allow him to touch me. Or, I mean, even part of the punishment, he could touch me but not himself. Or he could just touch me and touch himself but not move. I mean, there's so many variations of how you can use edging as a punishment. I mean, my mind is going through endless. As a punishment also, I could sit and edge him, just either sucking his cock or masturbating, jerking him off, whatever, however you want to say it. I could do that until I know he's right on the edge and then stop and then do it again and then just never let him finish, which kind of ties into orgasm denial. And that would maybe be almost more of a reward. Like that could be a reward too. If he has done something extraordinary, I'm going to do what I can to make sure that his orgasm is powerful or do things to help the orgasm be more powerful. It's interesting. I mean, I've never really given a lot of thought to edging. You know, another thing too, I read a little bit about this in one of the articles that I scammed. I don't remember which one it was now, but an interesting thing about edging too, if you are doing it with yourself or even with your partner, there's a lot of mindfulness that comes from that and being intentional and paying attention to how your partner is reacting to the stimulation they're receiving. Or if you're doing it alone, you're being more attentive and mindful about the things that really turn you on and get you to that point. And it makes you more aware, I think, of your body and what works for you and what doesn't work for you. So mindfulness, I think, is another benefit, in my opinion, to edging. And it could also be viewed as maybe a connection or like I always talk about how sometimes my subbie and I need to just plug in if we're feeling disconnected, it's been a rough week or whatever. Sometimes we just set everything aside and we just have sex, because that's kind of how we reconnect. We call it plugging in, if anybody remembers. So edging could be another way of connecting. You're really in the moment and it's just the two of you and you're really focused on each other. I mean, this is something that I would totally let my subbie do to me. And I think he knows me well enough to know what I'm about, maybe. I'm pretty discreet sometimes when I come. He doesn't always know. It's absolutely something that the two of us could do to reconnect, that is outside of the plugging in, as I said. It would just be another level of how we're able to really take some time, be intentional, and the two of us just reconnect in that moment and really be aware of how each other's bodies are feeling. I mean, really, it's pretty fucking hot, if you ask me. That would be another benefit too. I mean, there's so many different ways. I guess it just depends on your intentions when you're going to practice this edging. Are you going at it as a punishment? And if that's the case, that's probably going to change how you perform the acts that accomplish the edging. If you're doing it alone, obviously it's significantly different than if you're doing it with a partner. So just to summarize some of the things that we've talked about, like what is edging? It's getting yourself to that edge and then stopping and stopping the stimulation and then waiting. 30 seconds seems to be the average that I came across and then starting stimulation again and keep doing that until you're ready to have an orgasm. Tips for successful edging play would be make sure you have the right environment, make sure you know your partner, have open communication prior to starting. And I say that all the time. I don't know if I said that in the beginning, but have the open communication about what you want to achieve from this edging session. Let's talk about the benefits really quick. It's great for strengthening your pelvic floor. It creates a more intense orgasm. It really allows you to get to know your body and what turns you on. And it's a great chance for you and your partner to connect and really be intentional and just be in the moment, really be there enjoying what you're doing. And how edging is beneficial for an FLR is there is a vast... And how edging can be beneficial in a female-led relationship all depends on how you want to use it. It can be used as a punishment. It can be used as a reward. It can be put aside outside of the FLR. It can be just time where you and your partner can just really sit down and connect with each other. I mean, if you ask me, edging sounds fantastic and we should do it more often. Right, Tubby? Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm going to wrap this week up. Next week, I want to talk about the orgasm denial and orgasm control. I hope everyone has a fantastic week. I hope you enjoyed today's topic. Next week, I would like to talk about orgasm control and denial, which will be very fun. You should come back and check it out. Be good human beings, stay safe, stay healthy. I love you all, and we will chat soon. Can we come in?