0613 Female Led Relationships: When Your FLR Gets Outed (Judgment, Privacy & Living Authentically)

This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you are not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. One, two, I got the clock. Well, I hope not. That'd be kind of hard for me to get. I mean, we've not even started the podcast and we have the starting of the podcast. Welcome back. Guess who's here? Hey, Savvy. Hey, how's it going? Permanent fixture on the old podcast. Yep. This one is going to be a little bit of an explanation of how we were fired because of our dynamic. The dangers of being outed. Yes. That's what I'm getting. Which also triggered the, I don't give a fuck button because I got nothing but time to say all the things. Yep. Do we have any housekeeping? Hi, Judy and Steven. We love you. Yeah, there was. School's going, we're knocking at the door. 200, aren't we? 200 people. 196. 200. Wait, what is it? FLR, S-K-O-O-L dot com. You're not as Barry White-ish today. No, sadly. That's okay. Sort of. Ooh, can I fix your hair? Are we early enough in? Yeah. Don't hit your head. Much better. All better. A little bit. Yep. School's going great. All the conversations. Yes. Posts are good. Some of the episode one or two or whatever that we're going to do right now are based off of what we've seen on there. So. Yes. And deserve conversation. That's going to be a hot button topic. Topic. Typic. It's a hot button topic for me. Yep. Got a little bit of an accent. Didn't even realize it. So that's that. I really appreciate the thought provoking things that are occurring in school. Like I'm so fascinated. Yeah. How active people are. Like my Patreon was like a turd in the water. I have my own responsibility in that. Right. It's a both sides thing. We've moved on from that. By the way, if you're a patron on Patreon, we're closing that July 1st. I'm really impressed by school. I'm really glad that we are going this route. I think it's a great way to interact with people. And I also think that it's a good way to keep your identity secret. In case you don't want other people to know. Yes. About your dynamic. Yes. The school is private. So unless you are a member, you can't see who's in there. You can't see the posts. You can't see any of that. So we're able to secure it that way. Yes. Yep. And we keep talking about these course things. Oh, tell me more. Well, guess what? We're super, super close to getting the first one done, which is the first one is actually probably the most important. The first one, we'll just say it's foundational. I like it. See what I did there? That was nice. And it's actually in doing that course, it's sparking off sort of a branding thing for us, too, by accident. Sort of a, I don't know, what would you call this? A thought process or what would it be? It's the thing you go back to almost in every situation, you can go back to this. It's almost like a user's manual. Yeah. Mission statement, maybe, not a mission statement, but a... Just something you can revisit, like a how-to or if you feel like... But I mean, I'm talking about the 90-10. Oh. You can apply the 90... Like a mantra? Yes, like a mantra or something like that. Yeah. Like you're going to pull that card out a lot. Yeah. So... Is that it for housekeeping? I believe so. On that note, this episode is dedicated to a swarmy asshole. I hope you get chlamydia. Sorry, I have a little bit of hostility and really I don't because... Yeah. Let's talk about it. So we had a work camping gig. Yep. We worked there all year last year. Yep. We stayed through the winter. Yep. And started this season. Yep. And I don't know, and maybe this is the area where we give a shout out to our Minneapolis peeps. Where are you? Oh, by the way, there's Woodbury, Hudson, Wisconsin, Schaefer, St. Paul, Minneapolis. We know that you're listening and you've listened to one of the last five episodes. Where the fuck are you? Let's talk. Well, I mean, maybe they don't want their relationship style out in the open. It won't be out in the open. It's between us. And if there's a lesson that I have learned from all of this, it is confidentiality. Yes. Okay. So we worked in this position, right? Mm-hmm. One of the employees is like an internet sleuth or weasel, whatever you want to say. He would like to think he is. Yeah, whatever it is, right? Made it through an entire year. Mm-hmm. And all of the sudden, out of nowhere, we get called into the office. Yep. Together, which is never a good sign. And swarmy asshole, when I mentioned something, because I happened to be working a shift with swarmy, and I mentioned something about getting called to the office. And the response was, been nice knowing you. Yep. Thank you for outing yourself. Yep. I'm going to preface all of this by saying we were going to leave in September anyway. We were not a good fit. A hundred percent. We didn't want to fuck them over. Yep. Instead, we got stuff put in our butt. No, we didn't. No, they ripped the band-aid off for us. Yeah, which is fine. At the time, because it was a little bit shocking, I wasn't shocked. I was just, okay, well, let's do this. I'm mostly always a, okay, this is the situation. We need to do this. We need to do this. We need to do that, whatever, right? Kind of throughout it, I was a little butthurt about the situation, right? Mm-hmm. Well, okay, well, continue, and then- Right, right. However, in the thousand-foot picture, right, you back way out, in our trajectory and the things that we want to do, and we got, we moved out of the house to do the thing, right? We didn't move out of the house to sit somewhere for years at a time, right? Okay, so my mom passed a couple months ago, still dealing with some of that here and here, but- That was his heart, not his wiener. Yes. That was a little load of bricks off the shoulders. It was. With the time and resource aspect, right? Okay, well, now we have a little bit of time to do some of the things we need to do on our bus, right? Mm-hmm. So I started getting some stuff knocked out. Mm-hmm. Let's fucking go. Yeah. And that's continuing currently. Mm-hmm. All that's continuing currently, and then we get fired, right? Mm-hmm. I know that's an issue for you probably more than me. I could honestly just give a fuck. Okay. Right? We're gonna- And I just want to add that doing this opens the fucking time door wide open. Mm-hmm. So, and I've said this before, it's always been we've either had time or money. We said this on a walk talk, which is available only on FLR, S-K-O-O-L.com. We mentioned that we usually only have time or we usually have the- The funds. The funds or the resources, right? Now we have both. Yes. I don't understand your hesitation in that. No, no, no, no. Okay. It's not like it's unlimited resources, but we have the resources to do- The small things that we need that are massive changes- Yes. And check this box, check that box. Now we're checking fucking boxes. Yes. That's exciting to me. Yes. I agree. So- Okay. That's all I'm saying about that. Let me flip it back and reverse it. Mm-hmm. Anyway, we get called into the office after the comment of Ben, nice knowing you. Whatever. Immediately when I get called to the office, I text Sabi and I'm like, hey, I got called to the office. Have you heard anything? He's like, no, I'm just out doing my thing, right? Right. I thought it was just for something that- Job related, right? Right. Yeah. Not usually the people that give you a pat on the back, which is whatever. Right. So I then get a text that says that he was also called to the office. Yep. I'm like, oh fuck, this is not going to be good. So I'm shaking already because I'm like, I mean, I think I knew it was coming. And here's the thing too, that now that we're a few or a couple of weeks outside of it, I have been asking for signs ever since his mother passed about what we're supposed to do. What's next? Show me a sign because I really, really like my job, but I just felt like we were like the invisible pair, right? Like we did a lot of things that just went unnoticed. And again, I'm not looking for a pat on the back by any means. Right. And I think we mentioned a lot of this in a couple episodes ago or something. I feel like a lot of times we are invisible. Well, here's a little sign here, and then there was a little sign here, and then there was a little sign here. And then we came to the conclusion that we should leave in September and just be done. We're not a good fit. So we already knew we weren't a good fit. Right. I never really felt welcome with the exception of maybe a couple people. Yeah. So we were kind of outsiders from the get-go, which was fine. I really liked the work I was doing, but this year as it kind of started, I was like, I don't really like this much. And I'm 47 years old. Why the fuck am I doing this? Life's too short for me to do something I don't want to do. A hundred percent. I have always known from day one, from starting this podcast, that vocalizing my thoughts, vocalizing all of this, sharing our relationship dynamic could bite me in the ass somewhere. Yep. Apparently the universe felt like this was the time. It's a perfect time because none of these people matter to us. And here's the part that really, I think... And the people that do could care less about this. And listen, in the entirety of our employment there... Well, okay. So let's just get back to the story, right? So we get called into the office and I walk in, Brian's already in there. Everybody knows your name, right? Yep. I walk in, Subby's already sitting in there. The security guard's there. In uniform. Whatever. Let me preface this by, we've not had a problem with this guy. Super nice guy. Super nice guy. Chit-chat with him. We've also never given them any reason to believe that we were going to be violent or that there would be a need for a security guard. Exactly. Anyway. Exactly. And by the way, he had no idea why he was there. Right. Way to... Give him a heads up. Yes. I don't know. Anyway, it is what it is. The whole situation is just weird how it all went down, right? So we get called in. It's one of the senior owners and then his son. Not even the one that called me into the office. She's nowhere to be found. And they just sit us down at the table and they're like, your services are no longer needed. We're terminating your employment effective immediately. Here's your checks. You were paid till 2 p.m. today. Oh, and we want you off the property in five hours. We had to be off the property by 8 p.m. the same day. We had no idea this was coming. This is the part that really fucks with me, mainly because I don't do well with change Mm-hmm. Quickly, right? Mm-hmm. And they request all keys back. I'm like, obviously, why the fuck would we want them? Yeah, I don't want your fucking keys. Anyway, Subby says he has some at the bus. Oh, well, do you want me to come back and get them or so you don't have to make the trip or blah, blah, blah, whatever? I don't know. We're going to drive past the office at least three times. But anyways. Whatever. That's the intelligence there. Are we going to go postal in four, five hours? Whatever. Anyway. Yep. Do you have any questions? Yeah, I would like to know why. No. We're just going to make this easy. Yep. Just going to keep it simple. See, that's the part that bugs me the most. Mm-hmm. Simple for who? Yeah. And I would like to hear you say it. Yep. Like, what did what did Swarmy find? Like, which TikTok was it or which podcast episode was it or whatever? And I also don't like to be judged. Mm-hmm. Nobody ever would have known if Swarmy hadn't found it. I never talk about anything at work. I am always appropriate. I am always very cordial. Yep. Civil, appropriate. Anybody that would have come to that establishment at any of the three locations who would have maybe recognized us. Would never have said anything. Are listeners. Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean? It is what it is, and here's what it boils down to. And this could be an episode in itself. By the way, maybe one of you people who live around us and work here, and you happen to actually be there, and you did recognize us, and you didn't fucking say anything. I mean, you can say hello. Yes. And I understand. It boils down to how we live our life doesn't align with their religious values. And that's fine. And it was a very quick lesson and probably a very big sign from the universe to say, listen, you either need to shit or get off the pot. Yep. Well. That's exactly what it was. I'm going to take a big fat shit. Yep. So in the end, it was a blessing in disguise. It saved me from the anxiety of having to say that I wanted to leave. Yep. I think the hardest part for me to get over is I hate when people don't like me for no reason. Or not a decent reason. But I have to get over that because people are of their own will. I can't make somebody like me. And you could care fucking less. I do care fucking less. Any of these people. But I don't like to be judged. But that says more about them than it does about me. And this is what I've been telling myself. Yes. So it was an important lesson, and it has violently shoved me forward into fully immersing myself in KFLR. And everything related. F-L-R-S-K-O-O-L.com. Yes. Soon to have a little partner. Anyways. I would also like to point out that Swarmy is in an open marriage. I would guess that also doesn't align with their religious views. What's that? Non-monogamous? Wow. How does that align with your Christian values? At the end of the day, I shouldn't give a fuck. But here I am on my podcast talking about it. Well, we're just purging now. It'll just be done. And in the end, we don't 100% know. No, we don't. It was Swarmy that did it. But the comment of Ben, nice knowing you leads me to believe. It is what it is. I don't give a shit. You stay in that toxic environment. Live your life. Right. I mean, clearly I gave a shit when we started because I had some anger and aggression. Right. Now, in a broader sense, the dangers of being outed. And this was in a message on FLRSKOL.com about… Way to squeeze that one in. Well, I had to because there's like a quota, isn't there? People are going to get tired of hearing that. Yes. If you haven't caught it by now, you can rewind, right? Anyways, there was a gentleman on there who talked about being in a very specific kind of culture, belief or whatever in an FLR from what we can understand and the dangers to his job and to his place in that society if for some reason he was outed. Now, that's valid, right? That can get dangerous to the couple, to the kids, to their property, like all the things. Our situation, a little more loosey-goosey. Well, I'm advertising, right? Like I'm talking about this all over. Right. We're out in the public. They are not. Right. So, they are really in the bedroom or behind the curtain or whatever the terminology you want to use there. There's valid dangers in being outed in this relationship. Which is so shitty. How is our relationship any different than a monogamous relationship? Right. There's a whole nother, because by the way, that's not even grammatically correct. It's probably in the dictionary now. It is not. There's another episode that we're going to have where why is a patriarchal relationship accepted and okay and not even thought about, but a matriarchal relationship is not? I will not be saying that M-word either because I cannot say it to save my life. Oh, but it is not, right? Oh, well, there's kink involved or naughty things. Are you going to tell me in the, this is probably 90-10, right? There's 90 patriarchal. 10. 10 matriarchal. In the 90% of relationships across the world that there's no kink involved in any of them. I know that to be. Fuck that. I know that to be untrue because I have had monogamous men who are in patriarchal relationships message me and talk about how they are interested in pegging. No, but I'm even talking about them with their spouse. Yes. Right? And possibly BDSM things that they do or. And that's fine because it's in their bedroom. Right. But dominance in the relationship, right? So why, I don't want to get too deep in this because there's a whole, but this is related. Why is it okay for the male to be in charge and the male to inflict the BDSM things and the male to control the money, but it's not okay for the female. Right. Why is one accepted and not? And that's, that's my thesis on it. That's an episode that's coming. Yep. I think really that is our update. I mean, I guess I don't know how far into this we are, but really that's what happened. We have relocated. We are back in Southern Minnesota again. Yep. Which is fine. Yeah. That's where it all started. Yep. We've got vehicle repairs happening. We got bus upgrades happening. We're fully planning on heading South for the winter. Which will be like summer for us. Yes. So there's things that are happening. Like I, like I said earlier, we're checking off some boxes, right? And this was really time that we needed to do these things. Yes. So. It does scare the hell out of me. This was my look earlier where you said, why do you look at me like that? Yeah, but. Sassy. Here's why. Because I've never in my life, first of all, been fired ever. Okay. Never. Okay. So that is a huge thing for me, right? I've never been fired. I've always been a hard worker. I always leave. That is not ever in question. And then on top of that, I'm not currently looking. Don't have to. For other employment. Yep. You don't have to. At some point, what we have isn't going to be there anymore because we're going to use it. I'm making more money. I understand. I am not. Doesn't matter. Okay. 47 years. I obviously have not been working 47 years. I understand the conditioning. But that is what that is. Right. I have always been the one, until you, that was the main breadwinner. Valid. Whether it was one job or four. Valid. It was always me. Yes. Yes. I don't know what the- You don't have that pressure. Right. And now I don't know what the fuck to do with myself. And it's only for the next few months. In theory, yes. Well, yes. Because in September, it will be something different. So- So let me reassure you that there's no reason to feel anxious about that. Well, I can't just shut my brain off. No, I know. But we honestly really haven't even talked about this. This has never been an open conversation since we were kicked out. I can promise you we'll be fine. I know. And I know- We've got a cushion that we don't need to blow through. Right. There's no need for that. We're just buying the things that we need to buy to do the thing, right? Maybe we eat out once in a while. How often have we done that in the past? Anyways, on top of that, there's also income that will be sprinkled in to help replace some of that. Yeah. Okay. And I know right now that there's a pretty sizable chunk that's coming in August. Great. What's coming in July? We don't know yet, but there's things. Have you ever noticed that when I move on from a contractor or a shop or whatever it might be, that next fucking day somebody else calls? Yeah. I know everything will be fine. That's happened twice already. I know everything will be fine. Right. I just can't shut that off because I'm not doing- You're not doing the thing. Right. Yeah. No, I get it. It'll be fine. And I will say it has been a big relief to be free of that. So in the end, Swarmy did us a favor. Oh, a hundred percent. I just don't like how it went down. I don't understand why I was targeted. The sneakiness. Yeah. Yeah. And the judgment. Well, and that's the biggest thing, right? I don't even care about in my past when I got cheated on and whatever. What I hated is everybody knew and lied to me. I hate being lied to. Yeah, there is that. The other thing too is there was idle chitchat from the moment I was asked to go to the office until we left. Like nothing was happening. Oh, because they were uncomfortable as shit. And I got stuck outside with some fucking customer who even after we were let go, somebody came by the bus and was having a conversation. Did we say anything? We could have totally gone off on this fucking campground. We could have totally threw them under the literal bus. And we didn't. We didn't. We have not said a bad word about the establishment. And we won't say the establishment either. I know. And I won't be recommending it to anyone. But I feel like we have handled this way better than I thought I would have. I mean, I still can't get past Swarmy. It makes me want to just kick him in the balls. Yep. And that I think is where it comes into the not being liked and not knowing why. What did I ever fucking do to you? Right? It's more about the personal thing with him. Right. Like, why the fuck did you have to throw me under the bus? Right. What are you benefiting from this? Right. Listen, there's an element of things that people shouldn't know with some of the employees there, right? The mature adults that are involved in that zipped fucking lip. My name's Paul, between y'all. Why couldn't that happen in this case also? Yeah, I don't know. But the flip side of it is that we get all of this other positivity. Yes. So the one little negativity is far outshadowed by the positivity. Yes. In my opinion. I would agree. It makes me angry to some extent. But I think, I mean, it's been what, two weeks? Almost. Almost two weeks. I think that I finally kind of settled a little bit. And it's so hard. And how do I say I don't like change when I live in a bus? Right? But my bus is always the same. The location changes. But it hasn't for like the last year. Right. It's been in the same place. Everything is the same. Right. When we were in Florida and was basically called home in an emergency, that was also a quick change. I know. Because we were there in the morning. We were in Florida in the morning. And in Georgia by night. Right. And got the phone call, packed up. And we were in a different state by the time we hit the bed. Yeah. So that was similar. Yeah. Sort of. Yeah. Right. But that wasn't a sneakiness thing. No. And I think that's what makes me feel yucky about it. Right. It wasn't any of that. So that's the aspect that is really shitty in this. Yeah. It really is. At the end of the day, that area of the state, pretty much done with it. That's like strike two. Yep. First time, shame on us. Sort of. Nah. First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on us. Is that how that goes? I don't know. And maybe the first time is- Don't, neither time really shame on us because- I don't know. We didn't hurt anyone. No. That's the thing. This popped into my head. Whatever. We, this is how we feel about people. Do whatever the fuck you want. We were talking about the pride thing and all that too. That's your thing. You do you, boo. However, do not hurt anyone. Not physically, not emotionally, not mentally, not financially. Don't hurt anyone. Do your thing. I mean, unless consent's involved. Right. That's right. But that's like the caveat to that. But I mean, if everybody lived that way, can you imagine what the fuck are we talking about? Yeah. That's valid. We just had that conversation in the store with somebody. Yep. Yep. Do what you want. Be who you are. Don't fucking hurt anyone. And I don't know- That's all I'm saying. Yes. And this didn't specifically hurt us. In the end, it helped us. Yeah. It maybe hurt my feelings a hot minute. But it was nefarious. It was. It was sneaky. Very nefarious. It was swarmy. Yes. So the delivery was shit. It was. The result was fantastic. Yes, it was. So that's what we'll go by. Once everything processed and yes. Got it off our chest. I think so. Here we are. So- If you're wondering how this pertains to an FLR, we were fine through the whole thing. Again, we back- We always revert back to working as a team. We have this to accomplish. How do we- What is your part? What is my part? All of that, right? That's the relationship that we have. And we absolutely did that. Yeah. And we left our spot just as- You know what? We left our spot better than when we got there. Yeah, because we left a deck. Right. You're noticing a trend? Yes. Yeah, we- That's the other rule. Do whatever you want. Leave it better than you found it. And we were out 25 minutes, 30, 35 minutes early. Yeah. Which is pretty impressive considering we had three trips that were 20 minutes away and all the things, right? So- Yep. Too many vehicles, not enough drivers. Yeah, valid. Anyways. That's the end of that. I think so. And I think that I'm going to be very intentional to not bring it up anymore because it's not worth the brain space. Yeah, we'll probably refer to it now and then because of the judgment part and the sneakiness. Yeah. Conduct yourself better. That's the part that is the sticking point for me, right? I have been in this lifestyle or living this way the entire year I was employed by you. And now just because you know- Then we're different. I'm the devil. Yes. Like I need to be exercised. That is my- You cannot get more of an example of judgmental than that. You really can't. This is going to piss people off, but that is my experience with most people who are religious. Not Christian, religious. Yes. Two different things. Yes. I mean, Catholicism comes to mind immediately. It does. But that's how I grew up. But not all Catholics are like that either. No, I would 100% agree. But that has been my experience, that the most judgmental people that we encounter are the ones that are very religious. And probably have the biggest secrets to hide. Right. Just throwing it out there. They're probably, yeah. Anyway, I think that wraps this one up unless there's anything else. That was just our rant. That was just right. Kind of a rant. Kind of pissed me off. I also need to call out Swarmy. Somebody's listening somewhere. Yep. Been nice knowing you, fuckers. Yep. Sayonara. Yep. It is what it is. I think that's it for this. It is. Okay. On that note, everyone have a fantastic week. Be kind. Don't judge. Stay healthy. I love you all.