EP: 0408 - Female Led Relationships - Navigating the Depths of Intimacy Through Chastity

0:00:01 - Krystine
Welcome back!! Live from the truck at a Quartzsite Laundromat. 

0:00:07 - Byran
Right, so we're doing our laundry, and what better time to do a podcast? 

0:00:12 - Krystine
Here's where we're at. We're all about having great production. However, I like to talk and I like when airplanes take off. It's cool so. 

0:00:22 - Byran
The entire time that we're here, not like where are you taking off from so? 

0:00:30 - Krystine
we like to. 

0:00:31 - Byran
I don't even understand what's going on. 

0:00:33 - Krystine
Okay, what I'm trying to say is we want high quality content. However, circumstances are proving complicated to make it as high quality as we want, so it's more important for us to get the message out and have the conversation than it is for us to make sure that our background looks great. So this is the back of our truck that we have. It's like the tool shed All the shit in the back of the truck. So enjoy the view, and we're here to talk about Chastity. 

0:01:05 - Byran
What a great combo. 

0:01:06 - Krystine
Yeah, in the Laundromat parking lot. 

0:01:07 - Byran
Truck stuff and Chastity. 

0:01:09 - Krystine
Yes. It's a guy thing, it's been an eventful couple days, all the drama. 

0:01:14 - Byran
Yeah, yeah. 

0:01:16 - Krystine
But I'm not going down that rabbit hole because I got an amazing email. 

0:01:19 - Byran
Yes. 

0:01:20 - Krystine
And we're not going to. I don't think there's any other housekeeping other than me bitching about bullshit drama. 

0:01:25 - Byran
Oh wait, yes, a little bit of housekeeping, just a tiny bit Pitter Patter Yeah, well before you. That's all folks. Before you heard this part of the podcast, you probably heard a little bit of an advertisement about the Christine's little toy store. 

0:01:46 - Krystine
Oh. 

0:01:47 - Byran
Now, we've been saying for this entire time that we didn't want to put commercials on the podcast because the podcast was not about money and stupid ass commercials. Right, we didn't want to do that. However, there's a fair amount of listens to this podcast, which we thank you so very, very, very much, and but it also takes time and it takes some money to get this out to you guys. Yes, so if you could at least dabble in the store a little bit the link is in the show notes and you go right to christinecallagcom, to the store. There's a bunch of stuff. When you click on to order it, it'll bring you to Amazon where you buy shit anyways, right, and it'll come in an Amazon box just like all your other Amazon boxes. 

So there's discretion, right, and it's not really pricey stuff either. It's easy, like entry level. But we went through and we kind of vetted the items. You know there's good reviews on all of them. There are top sellers, all that kind of stuff. So you know safety and numbers kind of thing. So please check the store out, buy a little something, help us out. 

0:03:07 - Krystine
And this podcast will always remain. My main focus is the connection that I have with you. 

0:03:12 - Byran
Yes, however, there's a reality to it. 

0:03:15 - Krystine
Yeah, there is a reality and we need internet to post it. We need a hosting platform, we need the web page, all the things. So here we are. This is where it is right. Let's talk about okay, long from that let's talk about cages. 

0:03:29 - Byran
Yes. 

0:03:31 - Krystine
I Got an email from a listener and here is the question and your honest opinion Does Chastity really help, like if I presented it to my wife? Can it help our marriage? Just wondering your opinion. Now that's a loaded question. 

0:03:52 - Byran
Well, yeah, because there's a hundred different answers for it, for sure. 

0:03:55 - Krystine
And we just had this discussion about how sweet actually with my oldest son. Swinging does not save a marriage. You know you can't introduce these things in hopes of saving your marriage right. So my follow-up question was and I said this is a loaded question, but what are the issues with your marriage that you're trying to solve? What is it that you're trying to help by adding Chastity? 

0:04:21 - Byran
a little more info. 

0:04:22 - Krystine
Yes, I needed a little bit more info and I you know we are not currently practicing Chastity, sadness, but it will definitely become a part of our dynamic again. It's just right now. It's I mean, we don't have a shipping address, for the is the biggest part. 

0:04:41 - Byran
Yeah, we. I mean we kind of do like a mental Chastity thing. I do we just an honor system thing, that what? 

0:04:49 - Krystine
slide it in no, I'm good. 

0:04:51 - Byran
You don't wait. Yes, I do wait. What is the question? 

0:04:55 - Krystine
Do you want to slide it in? Yes, we do. An honor system, chastity. Yeah just because right now, it's just what works for us. I do very much miss the mental cage, mental cage, metal words are. Words are so hard today. I do miss the metal cage and we will get back to that. It's just not yep in the stars right now. 

0:05:16 - Byran
Whatever, okay, so I. We've talked about seasons. 

0:05:19 - Krystine
Yes. 

0:05:20 - Byran
This is just a season we're in Yep. It'll change when we get back to Minnesota it's been an interesting winter. 

0:05:27 - Krystine
Onto the races, yes. So I responded to that email and asked what it is exactly that he is trying to help in his marriage, like what are the problems? And a little bit of background. 

0:05:44 - Byran
We probably don't have to go through the holes. 

0:05:45 - Krystine
No, I'm not okay. There is. This is just the the preface, and then I'm going to bring it all the way around town and and offer my suggestions. 

0:05:57 - Byran
Mm-hmm. 

0:05:57 - Krystine
So there is the issue of unprotected sex and they're trying to prevent having a baby, and there might be some masturbation issues, porn issues, things like that, mm-hmm, so it's nothing really Foundational. I guess we don't know how important the porn aspect would be. 

0:06:16 - Byran
I don't think that this person's wife knows about it right, so that therein lies the potential problem, right, right, and and I would like to say props to the person for emailing you and Admitting that problem, because he's aware that it's a problem, right, and he's aware that he wants to do something about the problem, correct, oh, I mean two huge check marks right there, right, so that tiny bit of his, his question, we can answer that that, yes, if you were caged right, you wouldn't be focused so much on jacking off and your orgasms as much as you would be focused on With let me, let me add this to you know, it's coming from a good place. 

0:07:01 - Krystine
Yes to increase his focus on his wife. He is looking to improve his marriage. He wants his focus to be increased on his wife and and, at the same time, working on himself. 

Yes, so so first part of this. So that's that's the gist of the questions that were being asked. The first part introducing it to his wife. He's a little nervous, isn't quite sure how she's going to take it, and I think he had a great idea. He had said that he's going to say he read about it online somewhere and thought maybe this would be a good addition to their marriage to help with the unplanned pregnancy issue, like when she's Obulating or is fertile or able to get pregnant, but he can put the cage on and that will stop them from Having sex during that time. 

I think that would absolutely do it I. It would also help him from not masturbating, help him to not masturbate. But back to introducing. If you want to introduce this to your partner, I would suggest saying you read about it somewhere, you saw it somewhere, those things, and just kind of get a feel. If you're more comfortable with your partner and you're good with just coming right out with it saying, hey, I'm interested in trying to see what are your thoughts on it, it really depends on the dynamic of your relationship, like the, the communication level of your relationship. Not everybody feels open and comfortable discussing certain things with their partners. 

So you know, having you have to gauge your relationship. Those are some tips I would give for introducing Chastity. 

0:08:32 - Byran
Right like, would you suggest? Right like? You know when, when it was brought up in our relationship, we were already to that place where we were introducing each other mostly me to you about things and I saw it come across, I think a Tumblr feed, screenshot it. It's sent to you. You said, fuck, yes, now. If only it were that easy for for you listener to introduce it. I was very fortunate that it worked. 

0:09:01 - Krystine
He's a lucky sound of a bit. 

0:09:02 - Byran
Right. So you know your mileage may vary but you know your partner, you know how to bring things up, so you have to take your path in in how that goes and I don't know that there's a tip or trick to something like that. I know that when we talked to priori they had said a long time ago yeah, to maybe find a movie or a show or something that that talked about that. 

0:09:32 - Krystine
Good luck finding something about Chastity. Yeah, yeah, yes. 

0:09:35 - Byran
I mean with some research, with digging. There may be, you know, it may be an element in some bigger movie of some sort or show or whatever, and you just kind of happen across it and and take it from there. But you should be in the place where you can bring anything up to your partner. 

0:09:53 - Krystine
And maybe don't find a porn. Like it might exist in a porn but I don't know that I would cross. No unless that's your guys, this thing, which is totally fine. 

0:10:01 - Byran
That, yeah, that is the tip to not do. 

0:10:04 - Krystine
Yeah, I would not. I don't know that there's so much of this already attached to a porn, or a fancy lifestyle that I would like to break. I mean, there is something absolutely hot on that aspect of it. But I think, when you're approaching this to try and do this, you want to have a more real life approach and right and realistic. 

0:10:22 - Byran
Right, because if you're trying to solve problems, a porn is not going to solve your problems, correct, right. But this as a practice, you know, I'm not going to say it solves problems, but it can solve the things that cause the problem. Correct, you know. 

0:10:37 - Krystine
So now, so now we're going to move on to, let's say, he introduces it to his wife. She's on board the next step. I always say this when we're talking about Chastity, you have to take it slow. I would not, especially if you are a pretty regular masturbator or you are getting pretty regular releases. Whatever that looks like, I would not suggest going oh, I'm going to lock up, that was very Minnesotan. Oh, I'm going to lock up and that's, I'm just done. 

0:11:06 - Byran
I'm just going to do long term Right. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. 

0:11:09 - Krystine
No, I would do it for a couple days, see how you feel. 

0:11:12 - Byran
Do it over a weekend. Yeah, we talk about this a lot too. 

0:11:15 - Krystine
You know, your nighttime erections are probably going to be quite painful. Your body will learn at first at least. Yeah, your body will learn and I think it gets better, at least it did for him. 

0:11:24 - Byran
Mm, hmm. 

0:11:25 - Krystine
I oh, that's exciting for when we start again. I love a little bit of pain for you. Okay, back on track. So start out slow. That would be my biggest suggestion. And another part of that is he had asked if it would increase the mental, his mental clarity, or increase his focus on his wife. It did, it did for it did for my subbie for sure. 

0:11:54 - Byran
I can say from someone who wore a cage nonstop for big lengths of time that absolutely yes, it did for me focus my clarity more on our relationship and even more so on on Miss Christine, and I felt that that was maybe my best. Me at that time, I get that. 

0:12:20 - Krystine
Not that I'm like you know he's not like an asshole when he's on the page, just just no but I felt my best me when I was cage. I always like to compare it to like the first time you put your wedding ring on, like you can feel the weight. It changes your mindset a little bit. I think there's a lot that goes with that. I know that maybe it's not great to compare a cage to a wedding ring, but that's the significance to us. 

That's another podcast or we've talked about it. Whatever, I would say that, yes, it should increase your mental clarity. It did for him. I can't say that that will for sure happen, because I don't know how your mind works. 

0:12:59 - Byran
Again, everyone's different, so it may have a different. 

0:13:02 - Krystine
Right. One thing I did mention also is if you're releasing on a regular basis or getting a release on a regular basis. I wouldn't try anything more than a couple days to start out. I would think that would be painful. Now I'm not the proud owner of a real penis, but I would think that I love how you put that. I mean, I have a fake penis. 

0:13:25 - Byran
She's the proud owner of a fake penis. 

0:13:26 - Krystine
Ooh, I got all the fake ones. I would suspect you need to see how you're going to react, because sexual frustration can come out in many forms, so maybe it isn't going to be a positive effect. Now you're coming at it from a good mental space and your intentions are good, so maybe it will be a positive outcome. You have to try it and see how it works for you and, like I said in the email, you'll have to remember your why. Why are you doing this? Because you're probably going to feel some frustration and if you start to feel resentful towards your partner, you should probably take it off, reevaluate and often have the conversations of how you're feeling. You know, is this working? What can we change? Things like that, like you have to keep those lines of communication open. 

0:14:19 - Byran
I agree. 

0:14:20 - Krystine
As you should, because I'm always right 100%. I am not always right. 

0:14:25 - Byran
And in between the introduction and the actual trying it, you obviously have to buy one. Yes, okay, yes, what a great place to buy one, but the little store that's attached to this podcast, oh look little. I'm just saying. 

0:14:38 - Krystine
In episode commercial. 

0:14:39 - Byran
Again, it's things are, you know, not cheap but fairly priced, right, it's not a high budget thing. Get one from the Amazon, it comes anyway and give it a try, and what are you all? 30 bucks, 40 bucks, whatever it is, if it doesn't work, that's all I'm saying. 

0:14:59 - Krystine
I'm a little biased, nice ad there. I'm a little biased to the metal cages. 

0:15:04 - Byran
And there's a couple there. You're ridiculous. I'm just saying Listen, I wish that this existed when we did our thing right? Yeah, because what did we go through? Oh my gosh. And all that right Finding a cage is ridiculous. Yes. 

0:15:19 - Krystine
And it can be very hard, you have to find the right size, the right, you know, and maybe metal isn't for you, maybe you want silicone, maybe you want plastic. 

0:15:26 - Byran
Yes. 

0:15:26 - Krystine
Long term, where I wouldn't recommend it. But I mean to each their own. 

0:15:29 - Byran
Right, but you're very first one because you're not going to know anything until you try it Correct, right, you're not going to. Okay, it's possible, I suppose, but you're not going to find the exact right cage. The first one you get right, and you don't even know if you're going to like it Right. So don't spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars, don't you know? Order things from fucking Sweden or wherever that guy is, whatever which is high quality shit. Yeah, I am not disparaging whatsoever, right. 

0:15:57 - Krystine
I mean, I have Cock-Cage envy. I would love one of those. 

0:16:00 - Byran
Yes. 

0:16:00 - Krystine
I know we like it, but that is not your first step out the door. 

0:16:03 - Byran
But you need like training wheels, Kind of right it's a million dollar idea. 

0:16:10 - Krystine
Let's invite, let's invent the training wheel Cock-Caged. 

0:16:13 - Byran
You need to try it out, right? And I wish, at the time that we started this, that I had someone to listen to or someone that would help me refer to oh, try this or try that. We didn't have any of that shit, right? So this, the things that are in the store, not whatever they're actually to help you, is what the point is to help you. 

0:16:37 - Krystine
Yeah, that's our first goal. 

0:16:38 - Byran
More than the point of making a couple bucks. Yeah, the point is like we've tried this, we've tried that, we tried like everything in there. Pretty much we have tried, except for the things that I put in there for the erotic story. No, no, so we have another podcast. I don't know if you know this, but somebody's found it, it's fucking picking the ass of this podcast currently. 

So I put some items in there that kind of are more to that crowd which is like a guy listening to it and he wants to get off, blah, blah, blah, and that's totally fine, that's hot, that's it's totally fine. Right, there's a few items for those folks. Most of it is for the KFLR folks. 

0:17:15 - Krystine
Yeah. 

0:17:15 - Byran
Because you guys have been here, man, since the beginning, and even if this is your first listen, you know, thank you, but we, we've always wanted to build the community right, to build the, the, the conversations, and, and, and, to help each other. You know, and that's the first part of it and I'm sorry I went on a rant. 

0:17:37 - Krystine
Yes, please. On his rant, though, I will say that this podcast and the community that has been built because of this podcast and the fantastic people that take the time to reach out to me, like I'm so thankful when I get emails like this, because I love talking about this. 

It is a fashion of mine, which is why I do the podcast and which is why, going forward, if there's videos of this podcast, you're going to see this truck or you're going to have wind noise, because I have now realized it's much more important for me to get my message out and offer guidance for people who may be, lost, or alone, or it's our two cents, yeah, or? God forbid, feel like they're a freak. 

0:18:16 - Byran
Right, and you're not a freak. 

0:18:18 - Krystine
No, so that's, that's the goal. 

0:18:21 - Byran
Yeah. 

0:18:22 - Krystine
Back to go to our Amazon storefront to find a cage. Yeah, kind of how this all started, yeah. But you know, try out some different ones, see what fits. Just don't get frustrated if the first few don't work. I mean, I have had people that I've talked to that have tried so many different ones until they found the right one. You just it's a trial and error thing. 

0:18:42 - Byran
Right, you'd be frustrating, right? Listen, if it doesn't work, it's okay, move on to the next one or be done, whatever your direction that you want to go, or whatever, but at least you've tried it. Right. If you try it and it works for the thing that you wanted to work, win Right. If you try it and it and it doesn't work, for whatever reason, you've at least tried it. 

0:19:07 - Krystine
One of the last questions that was asked was do you think that maturity plays a part in this? And it absolutely 100% does, and the fact that you thought of this shows maturity. Yep, and the fact that you asked that question also to me shows maturity. You're coming at this from a good mindset, or like a good place 100% right. 

0:19:32 - Byran
You had the wherewithal and the maturity to not think it's stupid, not think it's a freak thing, and to to look at it as a potential solution for a problem that you're having within your marriage, but also within yourself. That's massive maturity, right there. 

0:19:49 - Krystine
Right, and you know. Obviously there are other methods to be protected against pregnancy. I have to be honest, this is probably the most creative form of birth control that I have. I would have never thought of that, which added to the list of videos. 

0:20:05 - Byran
I mean, if you take. 

0:20:05 - Krystine
Planned Parenthood, it's going to start giving out Chastity Devices. 

0:20:08 - Byran
I mean it might solve a few problems, it would be a real interesting world if that was the case okay. 

0:20:14 - Krystine
But yes, down the immature rabbit hole we went. But, I do think it shows signs of maturity that you even asked that question. I do think that you have to have a mature mindset to get outside of the kink or fantasy aspect of this, I mean if you're looking at long-term Chastity, where you're in a different mindset than an 18-year-old boy, maybe, or even younger who's, or older who's out there just to get his dick wet, right Kind of. To sum it all up, my best advice to you would be introduce it to your wife. 

See what she thinks. When you're introducing it, tell her why you're introducing it. I would lead with I want to intensify my focus on you. 

I want to be more attentive to you because if she sees that it's coming from a place of love and a place of good intention, it might open her up a little bit more to have the conversation. I would also suggest giving her time to process when you do introduce this to her, because I mean for almost everything else. It has taken me a significant amount of time to process the things that he has put in my lab that he wants to add to our dynamic. This one thing that he introduced I had to give no thought to. 

0:21:36 - Byran
He sent it to me and I was like, yep, I'm on board, let's do this. 

0:21:39 - Krystine
And I've said that a hundred times. I don't know specifically why it was like that for me, but I followed my gut and it was the best decision I ever made. I love this aspect of our dynamic. I think it has brought us, brought us. I think it has brought us closer and it has taken our relationship to an entirely different level. 

I think it has been extremely beneficial and I wish you luck. I hope this helps anybody else out there who is considering Chastity for their relationship dynamic. Make sure you have open communication lines. Don't feel embarrassed to bring this up to your partner. You should have open communication lines about things you're interested in trying. 

0:22:22 - Byran
Right, we didn't even touch on the trust aspect that this puts for each other. Oh, you know, there's. There's all of that and the level of communication that you need to have. Like those are two massive things that we can do. 

0:22:34 - Krystine
We can do a whole another episode. We could do an additional. 

0:22:41 - Byran
Another is not a word. 

0:22:44 - Krystine
We could do an additional episode on just that aspect of things, so that could be a part two to this. We will see, but I just wanted to answer this email via episode because I feel like this is a commonly asked question At face value. Do I think that Chastity can help a marriage? Yes, is it going to solve your problems? No, I don't believe it will solve problems, but in this instance I think it will be a benefit to the relationship. I think it's a. It's a question. You need more information and backstory to 100% answer, but I hope this helped. Do you have any additional thoughts? 

0:23:25 - Byran
I know just the last thing is that you don't necessarily have to have an FLR to be in Chastity, right, right. However, once you're in Chastity, you're that step or two closer to having that situation. 

0:23:37 - Krystine
Well, I mean the way that the email was stated. He wanted to increase his attention to his wife or his focus on his wife. Flr. That's a fantastic start to improving a relationship. So had this email been worded differently and been, like you know, I keep cheating on my wife. Do you think Chastity is going to solve that problem? 

0:24:04 - Byran
No, that's a nice hope. Sure is not. 

0:24:07 - Krystine
I mean, you're gonna find a way to get out of that fucking cage. If you're intentionally putting this cage on because you can't keep your own dick in your pants, you're gonna get a way to get it off Yep. 

But, going in with the mindset that this specific person has, I think it will be a great success, provided you can get your wife on board. I wish you the best of luck. If anyone has questions about anything female-ed relationship, wise, any of the other dynamics, chastity, anything like that don't hesitate to reach out. I would like to do an episode answering questions that I have gotten on my website. That will probably be the next one. Yes, I know I have responded to some of them, but I would like to revisit some of them. 

0:24:50 - Byran
We'll just go through all of them. There's so many. 

0:24:53 - Krystine
Very similar to this. If you have questions that you want me to do an episode on, please email me. I love. 

0:24:59 - Byran
Go to the website and you can leave a message there. You can also leave a voice message there and we'll play that on the podcast If you want us to, yeah. 

0:25:06 - Krystine
My email my inbox, is always a safe place Sounds dirty. My inbox is always a safe place. 

0:25:12 - Byran
Yeah, it is. 

0:25:14 - Krystine
I will never call you out on the podcast unless you say hey we've mentioned my name, yeah. It's always a safe place. No judgment, I'm always here. This is my passion. I love talking about these things and I love offering a different perspective and maybe some guidance on these relationships. So I hope you enjoyed this little snippet. I hope this answered the questions. Why are you winking at me? Time to go fold the laundry and sadly that's not in the dirty form. 

0:25:45 - Byran
That is not. 

0:25:46 - Krystine
yeah, we're actually folding the laundry, I got some hella tan lines too. Okay, be safe, be good humans, stay healthy and talk soon. I love you all. 

0:25:59 - Byran
That's all folks.