0152 Female Led Relationships: Pegging, TSA Cages, and What Real Submission Looks Like

WEBVTT

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That coffee's real good, warming you from the inside out.

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.

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This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.

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We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists, we simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.

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Welcome back, episode 52, the big five to 52 weeks or 51 in terms of this podcast, right?

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Holy fuck, a whole year.

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This week, we are going to take the top, I don't know if they're necessarily mean, but the top comments that spark maybe a tiny bit of anger in me and are things that I'd like to touch on here because I think this is part of the reason that people listen to my podcast.

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Right.

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So that's what we're going to talk about today and just kind of reminisce on how fucking different the episodes are now compared to when I first started.

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How far we have come, baby.

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Oh my goodness.

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The first podcast, I was fucking terrified and reading, okay, so listen, I apologize for the noise if anybody catches this, but it is casino weekend here at camp and they're going to be doing a poker run and while the campground is not packed, there is a flutter of activity at the moment.

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There's some comings and goings.

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So I'm not sure, is there housekeeping issues?

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Oh, and my subbie's here.

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Yeah.

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Hey, how you doing?

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In case you didn't catch that.

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Yeah.

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Here he is.

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I did a voiceover that is now currently published on Amazon.

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It is the Sweet Revenge of Teamwork, I believe.

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I will have my subbie put that in the show notes.

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Yeah.

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We'll find that link.

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You can have a little preview of it.

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It's a pretty fantastic story.

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It was real fun to read.

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Right.

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If anybody's interested and wants to give it a download.

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I just take care of little projects here and there, video projects.

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Real estate video tours are one of the big things that I'm getting into now.

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Also bus and tiny home tour, shooting and editing and post-production, all that kind of stuff.

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That's kind of the angle that I'm getting into.

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I have been working with a client who just launched a website.

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Now these things that I'm talking about, I'm not receiving.

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I don't get anything from promoting these other than you get to enjoy my voice reading something if that's what you're looking for.

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There is also, it's erotichypnosisforwomen.com.

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I will see if also we can put that one in the link.

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It just launched, but I have a whole bunch of audios on there.

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There is some of the newer ones that were just posted.

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It's me and a male.

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The male is not my subbie, but the stories are pretty, the hypnoses are pretty good.

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They got a pretty good storyline and they were fun to read too and the client is great to work with.

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And he really appreciates my time and he's just a really good person to work for.

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So if you're interested in that, I will also put that in the show notes just if you're interested.

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Okay, let's talk a little bit about fetishes, shall we?

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Yeah, fascinating.

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So the feeder fetish, I did not, or the feeder kink, I don't know what you even call it.

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Listen, I am learning more and more every day about different lifestyle things.

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So I received a request that somebody wants me to record myself eating, like overeating, like four meals from a fast food restaurant, specifically fast food, and they were going to pay quite well.

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I didn't even know this was a thing.

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I did some research on it and while I am probably not going to do the video or if I do it will only be for this one person, just specifically because I've kind of bonded with them in a way, but just through conversations and things and it may be something, but it really brought up a lot of like body issues that I have with my weight and not to mention I feel like shit when I eat fast food.

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Like we don't generally eat fast food very often.

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We don't by any means eat healthy when I cook at home, but it's not fast food.

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It just doesn't sit well with me.

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The one fast food indulgence that we do kind of regularly is our weekly stop at Dairy Queen on the way home where we have our chicken strip basket and frosty ice cream beverages of some sort.

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Sadly, those will be coming to an end soon because camp is coming to an end.

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We have this weekend and then is it three more weekends left and we're closing up?

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Two or three, yeah.

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I think there's three weekends in October, so I think the next three weekends and then we're done.

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We'll be closing up the camper.

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Yeah.

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Oh, the heater.

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We should turn the heater off.

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Let's turn the heater off.

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It's like, well, it's not so bad right now here.

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It's not.

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It is 49, no 59 degrees this morning when we got up, it was 43.

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That's a little chilly, but I'm just real happy to be in my camper and I'm real happy that my subbie is here for the entire weekend instead of just the day.

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So playing taxi.

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Back on topic.

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I'm sure as everyone could maybe guess, the most viral videos that I have on TikTok are the most viral things that I've posted on TikTok are the TSA cock cage one where my subbie, in case somebody doesn't know, I'll give you a real quick recap.

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We were flying to California and we thought we would be smart and we would be okay to put a pink silicone cage on him with a zip tie lock, no metal whatsoever.

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Correct.

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We learned a valuable lesson that the scanners at TSA do not scan for metal.

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They scan for solid masses.

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So he got nailed for that and he had to just show somebody and then we were sent on our way.

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It was kind of an embarrassing thing.

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We have never done it again, but that fucking video, everybody attacked me saying that I was subjecting TSA agents to things outside of their consent, all of the things.

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So on that, you kind of glossed over the, I had to show them a little bit.

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The pink silicone cage.

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So the young TSA agent, I tried desperately to explain to this young man, nice young man, what the mass was that they detected around my groin region.

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Look at you all technical.

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And he was not getting it.

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It was, he kept, my husband's.

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Not getting it.

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It's a male chastity device.

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And the guy's like, what?

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Drawing a blank.

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Male chastity device.

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Glazed over eyes.

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So it wasn't getting it.

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So my husband looked at him and said, it's a cock cage, man.

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Yeah.

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So.

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That was quite entertaining.

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He still didn't get it and said, well, I'm going to take you over to this room here and call my supervisor because I need, I don't know if he said backup, but however he said that.

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I would guess there has to be two people in the room for protocol at all times.

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Correct.

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Either way.

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He walks me over to the little room and we're standing there with the door open as I'm sure they have to do that to make sure that one agent isn't alone in that room with one person.

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I get that too.

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Yeah.

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They still should have had the door closed.

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So the supervisor comes walking in and he's standing in the doorway and he asked me what it is.

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And I said, well, this is what it is.

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He said, oh.

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He said, well, now I have to see it because we're in this protocol and I have to see it through it.

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I'm like, fine, that's fine.

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And we can throw the fucking thing in the garbage.

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It's really not that important at this juncture.

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It's really not.

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He says, no, no, no.

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I just need to see.

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It's not a big deal.

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Whatever.

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So I take my pants down, unzip my pants and out pops my little pink cage.

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Little is the operative word there.

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And the younger TSA agent bolts from the room and leaves the door open with my little pink cage hanging out for everyone in the fucking TSA line to see.

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Oh, I got some fun looks when he walked out.

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So yeah, the TSA agent apologized for that.

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He closed the door.

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He said, just button yourself back up.

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Good to go.

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Not a big deal.

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Like, you know, how many is this guy?

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Wait, how much has this guy seen at TSA to determine that this is not, this is not a situation.

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Right.

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So that's our story.

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That also, I mean, that went just absolutely crazy on TikTok.

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I had so many comments.

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Yes.

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The first time it was told.

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Yeah.

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So there's where we're at with that.

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Coming in as a close second is any fucking time I talk about pegging, people get real fucking twitchy about the pegging.

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So I had read an article from Men's Health on one of the episodes because all my TikToks are really, most of them are just video snippets of me recording this podcast.

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So we had done, or I had done an article on, a Men's Health article on why men enjoy pegging.

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And, oh God, this one just, I mean, I don't know.

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This one didn't necessarily go viral.

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I mean, neither did the TSA one.

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It just got a fuck ton of views real fast.

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But one of the comments was, what if they just think it feels good and they aren't all, okay, listen, the grammar, grammatical, whatever you want to say.

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The grammar for these comments is ridiculous.

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So I'm going to try to read them grammatically correct, but I may stumble.

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Okay.

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One comment was, what if they just like the way it feels or what if they just think it feels good and they're not all hung up on your know-it-all analysis?

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Now, the main reason I'm addressing this right here is because I don't fucking know everything.

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I fucking don't even scratch the surface of the things that I know.

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There's always room for me to learn more things.

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And I would hope that anybody who listens to my podcast knows that my whole purpose for doing this podcast is just to put information out there because I know I can't be the only one that doesn't know these things or just to give my opinion and maybe help people.

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There's such a stigma.

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People just feel like they will be bashed or.

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You are not the only person.

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I'm sorry.

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You are also not the only person who is curious about these things.

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Right.

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So how do you satisfy a curiosity is like either doing it or learning about it.

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Right.

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So we're learning about it while we do the podcast.

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Right.

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And I mean, pegging is such a touchy subject anyway, because and that really pretty much.

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I mean, like my next comment on the same TikTok about pegging with the men's health article was not men and stop disrespecting real men.

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This is a real fucking hot button for me.

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Real hot button.

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And the next couple of comments, too, are also real hot buttons.

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Who fucking defines what a real man is?

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I mean, this kind of verges on my fucking hate for labels like everybody's definition of a man is so fucking different.

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If you ask a fucking Marine who was a Marine in the 60s, 70s, 80s, whatever, their definition of a real man is going to be entirely different than if you ask somebody that was born in the 90s, 2000s, whatever.

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Totally fucking different perspective.

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Like.

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It makes you no less of a man if you enjoy pegging.

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It also doesn't fucking make you gay.

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It also doesn't make you bi.

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And you know what?

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If you are gay and you are bi, good for fucking you.

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Right.

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Whatever.

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Why do people give a shit?

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Like, why can't people just be fucking people and live their fucking life anyway?

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That's real hot button.

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It's just where we're at.

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And then leading into the next comment, they're bisexual.

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Be honest.

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You don't have to explain so.

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You don't have to explain so much for something that's clear as day.

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I think that's a real big misconception that people have.

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Like, I don't understand how if you enjoy an intimate moment with your significant other.

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In this case, we're specifically talking about a man and a woman.

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It's intercourse.

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It's.

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It's natural.

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I mean, I don't understand how this is.

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How does this change your sexuality?

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And again, why does that fucking matter?

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I don't I just it's a real hard concept for me to grasp.

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Like.

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So if I like it in my butt, does that make me gay, too?

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I mean, I don't understand.

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I don't understand.

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Yeah, it's it's all about, you know, people.

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Some people see things extremely black and white and there's no room for gray area or people see nothing but gray area and there's no room for black and white.

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I mean, the world is full of so many different people with so many different perspectives and so many different views on things that, you know, spoiler alert, we're not all going to agree on everything all the time, you know.

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But do you have to.

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Do you have to take it upon yourself to, like, pound your view into somebody else?

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That's that's that's where things get a little sticky, I think.

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I think it also depends on are you enjoying?

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I mean, the label is such bisexual or gay or whatever.

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I think that and I did a podcast on that, too.

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I think it's the emotional side of it.

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Are you attracted to men or are you attracted to the fact that your fucking sexy ass wife has just strapped on a fucking dildo and is going to put it in your ass?

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Because if you ask me, that's pretty fucking hot.

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Yep.

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I'll agree.

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I don't know where any of that is bisexual or gay tendencies other than where the dildo is going.

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But that's irrelevant at that point.

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That's irrelevant.

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Irrelevant.

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All right.

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So I did a TikTok also.

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It was off of another episode.

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I was talking about F.L.R.'s and and how healthy they are when you take away the whips, chains, all the things sexual.

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Just break it down to basically brass tacks what the relationship consists of.

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How healthy it is.

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I also think I was reading an article for this one.

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This is the comment and I made a specific TikTok and I think I've addressed this and other issues because it's also a hot button for me.

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The comment was, it's not healthy.

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Most dominant women just want a server without responsibility, not a healthy relationship.

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It harms the man.

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And as soon as he is finally out there, he will be the definition of a misogynist.

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You are creating women hating men.

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So good luck.

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When the man is finally out where?

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Where is the man going?

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I can't answer these questions.

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I, you know, I'm in this relationship right now and I don't really want to go anywhere.

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You know.

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I think guys that are in this type of relationship have craved to be in this type of relationship, you know, and I think that.

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If you have a great level of communication, which you should in any relationship.

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If you have a great line of communication and things aren't going quite as your, you know, fantasy world imagination of this relationship would have been.

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Communicate that to your parent, to your partner, you know.

00:18:07.299 --> 00:18:10.680
I mean, you can talk about it to your parents if you want, but it might be a little awkward.

00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:18.220
But communicate it to your partner if things aren't going or whatever the way you had envisioned it.

00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:20.980
And a conversation is going to solve that.

00:18:21.380 --> 00:18:21.519
Right.

00:18:21.700 --> 00:18:21.940
You know.

00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:28.059
Biggest thing I preach about these type of relationships is open communication and be honest about how you feel.

00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:35.140
Like, I mean, if pegging was something I wasn't interested in, I would have said, I don't really think that's for me.

00:18:35.140 --> 00:18:48.140
I have no barriers or nothing that I'm embarrassed to talk to him about because I know for 100% certainty there is no judgment when he listens to how I feel.

00:18:48.460 --> 00:18:52.559
He validates how I feel, tells me that it's okay that I feel that way.

00:18:53.220 --> 00:19:00.700
And sometimes maybe just a discussion or changing my perspective about how I'm looking at it totally changes my outlook.

00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:03.200
And then I'm like, oh, wait, you're absolutely right.

00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:04.519
That's fucking hot.

00:19:04.519 --> 00:19:04.880
Right.

00:19:05.579 --> 00:19:06.039
You know.

00:19:06.339 --> 00:19:24.960
And I mean, honestly, our relationship, the way our relationship is right now is or was formed by conversations on what is allowed or good or desired and what isn't allowed or good or desired or whatever that is.

00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:27.599
And that's how we've arrived at where we are.

00:19:28.059 --> 00:19:29.539
And I'm thrilled.

00:19:30.500 --> 00:19:31.980
I'm happy to be in this relationship.

00:19:31.980 --> 00:19:36.880
I will give you an example of how much of the same page my husband and I are on.

00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:47.380
So he ran to the store this morning and I forgot I had said something yesterday about we need to get some sort of curtain or something until we figure out a door situation for our bathroom in this camper.

00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:49.920
And I found a tension rod.

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:51.359
So all we needed was the curtain.

00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:56.619
Well, we had this discussion last night and we've had a lot going on in the last few weeks.

00:19:58.359 --> 00:20:05.140
And he had already left and I was like, shit, I was going to tell him to get a curtain where he was going to at the store or whatever.

00:20:06.460 --> 00:20:17.380
Well, I didn't get him and I didn't send a text because I was like, well, listen, we can go pick something out if we run to Walmart to get groceries this week or something and I can bring it up next weekend, whatever the case may be.

00:20:18.380 --> 00:20:18.960
Nope.

00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:28.559
He, being an attentive husband, brought back a curtain for the wall, for the wall, for the doorway to the bathroom.

00:20:29.099 --> 00:20:32.400
Like, and he does these things all the time.

00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:36.480
Like he pays attention when I talk about things and he remembers those things.

00:20:36.819 --> 00:20:39.700
Now, he did just have a birthday and turned 51.

00:20:40.019 --> 00:20:43.319
So there's obviously some grace because as old age sets in.

00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:44.640
What are you talking about?

00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:45.319
Just kidding.

00:20:45.819 --> 00:20:46.519
You're spry.

00:20:46.519 --> 00:20:56.450
But that's one of the things like one of the other comments that you get quite a bit.

00:20:57.529 --> 00:21:03.829
I read through some of the Twitter stuff and that's where a lot of fantastic comments come from.

00:21:04.690 --> 00:21:07.309
Listen to the podcast and thank you for doing it.

00:21:07.450 --> 00:21:12.069
And the sincerity and the realism and all that, you know, people really love that.

00:21:12.130 --> 00:21:13.930
And that's what we're really trying to do.

00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:16.410
That's like the point of this thing.

00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:16.690
Right.

00:21:16.690 --> 00:21:28.390
But there have also been comments on various social media that involved, how do I talk my wife into doing this?

00:21:28.710 --> 00:21:28.809
Yes.

00:21:30.569 --> 00:21:35.549
You could start with just buying a curtain at the Dollar General when she mentioned it the night before.

00:21:36.589 --> 00:21:39.049
I don't think that's very difficult to do.

00:21:39.369 --> 00:21:40.230
Well, and I don't.

00:21:40.390 --> 00:21:41.789
I mean, but that's what I'm talking about.

00:21:41.849 --> 00:21:44.069
The smallest, just start with the smallest things.

00:21:44.069 --> 00:21:46.589
Well, and I have been getting a lot of emails about that.

00:21:46.670 --> 00:21:48.269
Like, how do I bring this up to my wife?

00:21:48.289 --> 00:21:52.549
How do I approach my wife about, you know, I'm submissive.

00:21:52.789 --> 00:21:59.509
And first off, my first question when anybody emails me and asks me this question is.

00:22:01.029 --> 00:22:05.910
Are you submissive actively or are you just submissive by nature?

00:22:06.329 --> 00:22:07.630
Now, there's a difference.

00:22:08.410 --> 00:22:16.269
I think that you are submissive by nature, but you are also actively submissive.

00:22:16.809 --> 00:22:20.809
He does things for me without me asking.

00:22:21.109 --> 00:22:21.369
Right.

00:22:21.630 --> 00:22:28.269
Just to make my day easier or just small things like he brings me a Celsius in the morning before he leaves for work.

00:22:28.630 --> 00:22:34.529
He makes sure there's Celsius in the fridge the night before so that he can just have one there for me in the morning.

00:22:34.529 --> 00:22:41.650
I mean, he takes steps to personally make sure that things go as smoothly for me as possible.

00:22:42.349 --> 00:22:44.809
Now, I don't expect him to be my servant.

00:22:45.210 --> 00:22:46.509
And I don't like that word either.

00:22:46.609 --> 00:22:47.170
I don't think.

00:22:47.509 --> 00:22:50.029
I mean, I like him to be my bitch, but.

00:22:51.049 --> 00:22:53.730
Because there's a real big difference between servant and bitch.

00:22:53.730 --> 00:22:55.490
Yeah, I just like the bitch word better.

00:22:55.490 --> 00:23:09.579
But I mean, on that same note, though, you know, I think sometimes when you're approaching your partner about I mean, again, in this case, it's a female led relationship.

00:23:09.579 --> 00:23:11.099
So I'm assuming the partner is female.

00:23:14.769 --> 00:23:22.410
Sometimes it might be easier to take away the label of a female led relationship and take the dumb subtitle out of it.

00:23:22.410 --> 00:23:31.549
I mean, the easiest way to approach your partner, I think, about this type of relationship is to put it into action very subtly.

00:23:32.130 --> 00:23:33.589
Start doing small things.

00:23:34.890 --> 00:23:40.009
And just show them how the relationship works, not in a sexual way.

00:23:40.369 --> 00:23:50.069
Just show them how the relationship can work into your day to day life, how it makes their life easier because you are taking on some of the tasks that maybe stress them out.

00:23:50.069 --> 00:23:51.970
Whatever the case may be.

00:23:52.410 --> 00:23:57.970
But I don't think that there is any talking your wife into being in an FLR.

00:23:58.470 --> 00:23:58.769
Right.

00:23:59.250 --> 00:24:00.069
I just don't.

00:24:00.069 --> 00:24:19.250
I mean, unless there's some sort of preexisting attitude of the woman in the situation, you're probably not going to go from nothing at all in this realm to getting tied up later that night and kicked in the balls.

00:24:19.990 --> 00:24:22.369
You know, there's there's a process.

00:24:23.089 --> 00:24:28.869
There's a step by step thing that you do to lead up to something like that.

00:24:28.869 --> 00:24:34.890
Well, and I think, too, that you have to take your time and you have to be sure that you're checking in.

00:24:35.049 --> 00:24:35.250
Right.

00:24:35.369 --> 00:24:41.289
And seeing how everybody is feeling, like how you and your partner are feeling about the things that are happening.

00:24:41.490 --> 00:24:55.289
Because, I mean, it can be an emotional roller coaster, especially once you start involving the sexual activities or if you're going to incorporate cuckolding or chastity, any of those things.

00:24:55.289 --> 00:25:04.210
I mean, you have to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page, because not communicating could ruin this whole relationship in 2.5 seconds flat.

00:25:04.710 --> 00:25:04.890
Agreed.

00:25:07.069 --> 00:25:08.829
OK, the next comment.

00:25:09.049 --> 00:25:09.950
And now don't get me wrong.

00:25:10.069 --> 00:25:20.049
I'm not highlighting the I mean, because I get a lot of fantastic, fantastic feedback on TikTok about the things that I talk about and people asking questions.

00:25:20.509 --> 00:25:24.049
And this isn't to not highlight the good ones.

00:25:24.049 --> 00:25:24.789
Right.

00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:32.130
It's almost it's almost to the point of pointing out the completely ludicrous comments that you get.

00:25:32.430 --> 00:25:32.549
Right.

00:25:32.670 --> 00:25:42.650
And I just I mean, I want to touch on some of these just because I wonder if there are people who are listening to my podcast that maybe in the back of their mind are thinking some of these things.

00:25:43.009 --> 00:25:46.369
Maybe not this harsh, but maybe there just isn't a full understanding.

00:25:46.369 --> 00:25:55.650
And these are the ones that really kind of hit a hot button because I feel like this is how society sometimes views sometimes views the type of relationship that we have.

00:25:55.809 --> 00:25:55.910
Right.

00:25:56.190 --> 00:26:05.230
So I don't want it to seem as though I'm focusing on the negative because I can't tell you like the old phrase, my cup of run over.

00:26:05.930 --> 00:26:12.390
I mean, there is so much positive feedback and it makes me so happy that this podcast is helping so many people.

00:26:12.930 --> 00:26:13.029
Right.

00:26:17.690 --> 00:26:33.210
OK, so the next thing I was talking about, I made a video about somebody had told me that people like me should be exterminated or I should be exterminated.

00:26:33.430 --> 00:26:34.250
I don't fucking know.

00:26:34.329 --> 00:26:41.690
I can't remember specifically, but I made a video about how, you know, I do this podcast to share my life.

00:26:41.750 --> 00:26:45.250
I don't do this to push my lifestyle on anyone.

00:26:45.789 --> 00:26:48.869
People need to make their own choices about what makes them happy.

00:26:48.869 --> 00:26:53.569
Everybody has their own dynamic and it can be whatever, as long as everybody is consenting.

00:26:54.529 --> 00:27:01.589
And I said something in the TikTok about our relationship isn't hurting anybody or no one is getting hurt.

00:27:01.710 --> 00:27:04.390
Well, except for my hubby, but he likes it.

00:27:05.029 --> 00:27:06.849
Ooh, that fucking rattled some cages.

00:27:07.910 --> 00:27:10.410
So this comment was in relation to that.

00:27:11.009 --> 00:27:11.910
That's it right there.

00:27:12.009 --> 00:27:17.910
Your capability to hurt him, knowing that he likes it because of something wrong with his psycho.

00:27:17.910 --> 00:27:21.029
I'm not sure what the fuck that means, but you must.

00:27:21.589 --> 00:27:24.130
Oh, maybe you don't love him as you think.

00:27:24.450 --> 00:27:25.490
I mean, you said it.

00:27:25.750 --> 00:27:28.289
It's hurting him whether he likes it or not.

00:27:28.329 --> 00:27:29.390
It's still hurting.

00:27:30.549 --> 00:27:31.970
Well, first of all.

00:27:32.470 --> 00:27:36.730
So you're insulting my psychology level.

00:27:38.769 --> 00:27:39.869
Not psychology.

00:27:40.329 --> 00:27:40.710
You're.

00:27:42.430 --> 00:27:44.150
I'm totally drawing a blank.

00:27:44.450 --> 00:27:45.730
Your psyche.

00:27:46.470 --> 00:27:46.930
You're.

00:27:47.230 --> 00:27:50.150
Yeah, so you're insulting my psyche, basically.

00:27:50.410 --> 00:27:53.329
Yeah, well, he basically, I think that's what he meant, but he said.

00:27:53.450 --> 00:27:54.789
My mental stability.

00:27:55.089 --> 00:27:56.349
And that's what you're insulting.

00:27:56.609 --> 00:27:59.130
I'm just assuming he I don't know why I do that.

00:27:59.210 --> 00:28:00.690
I automatically go for a he.

00:28:01.509 --> 00:28:02.049
I could be.

00:28:02.289 --> 00:28:02.849
Could have been a she.

00:28:03.029 --> 00:28:03.450
Could have been.

00:28:03.630 --> 00:28:04.690
We don't fucking know.

00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:09.140
That's the biggest misconception.

00:28:09.779 --> 00:28:14.200
I say things like that about me hurting him and he likes it and whatever.

00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:21.599
But people just assume that I'm just doing it and I haven't checked in with how he is feeling about it.

00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:24.980
Like, I don't just fucking beat the shit out of my husband every night.

00:28:25.380 --> 00:28:25.500
Right.

00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:28.279
I mean, if I did, he would like it, but I don't.

00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:29.660
For the most part.

00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:30.140
Yes.

00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:30.680
I mean.

00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:33.579
But let me tell you, we have a safe word.

00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:37.059
So if it's really hurting, like if it's if it's.

00:28:37.339 --> 00:28:38.039
Is it mammal?

00:28:38.680 --> 00:28:38.859
No.

00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:42.240
That was a callback to last night.

00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:45.200
Not last night in our bed or anything.

00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:50.960
We're a bunch of people, you know, at the social gathering stuff.

00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:52.099
And yeah, that was funny.

00:28:52.140 --> 00:28:53.440
But anyways, back at the ranch.

00:28:53.539 --> 00:28:53.660
Yeah.

00:28:54.920 --> 00:28:55.819
Where were we again?

00:28:55.900 --> 00:28:56.299
Oh, shit.

00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:56.880
I'm real sorry.

00:28:57.339 --> 00:28:59.200
I was talking about beating you every night.

00:28:59.539 --> 00:29:00.200
Oh, yeah.

00:29:00.420 --> 00:29:02.440
Because, you know, oh, the safe word.

00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:03.400
Yeah, we have a safe word.

00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:18.599
Listen, if I'm really hurt or like, OK, if I'm really hurt physically or mentally, I I'm going to say something, as should you if you're a sub and you're really physically or mentally hurt.

00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:19.980
You know what I mean?

00:29:21.259 --> 00:29:43.240
I mean, you got I mean, like if it's if it's pushed out of the the arena of your BDSM experience or your FLR experience or whatever it is into just plain fucking cruelty or, you know, mentally or physically abusive, throw the red flag.

00:29:43.900 --> 00:29:45.160
That's why the safe word is there.

00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:54.339
And listen, we just had this discussion with Carly earlier this morning while I was, you know, smoking my 16 cigarettes on the deck for an hour, whatever the case may be.

00:29:54.759 --> 00:29:56.220
We just had this discussion.

00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:00.619
Another thing that's very, very important, male or female.

00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:17.980
If you are in the middle of doing something, whether it is in a social environment and somebody is just in your bubble and you don't like it or whether you are in a play session with your partner or if you're a swinger and you're in a play session with somebody else, whatever the case may be, you can change your mind.

00:30:18.220 --> 00:30:18.779
That's OK.

00:30:19.059 --> 00:30:19.259
Yeah.

00:30:19.299 --> 00:30:24.380
Like if you're in the middle of sex and you all of a sudden decide something triggers you and it's just not right.

00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:24.839
Stop.

00:30:25.079 --> 00:30:26.319
You have every right to stop.

00:30:26.460 --> 00:30:31.000
And that doesn't mean that you can't go back tomorrow and do it again and everything will be fine.

00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:36.960
You are allowed to change your mind and you are allowed to want to stop whatever is happening.

00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:40.400
And I think that's an area where I struggle with.

00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:48.140
Not that he pushes me to do things that I don't want to do, but I feel I'm such a fucking people pleaser in my life.

00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:58.640
And he's very good at recognizing he knows me well enough to know that if there's something he suggests that we do, not necessarily sexual, just in a day to day form.

00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:00.619
Like, you know, hey, we're going to go to this concert.

00:31:00.619 --> 00:31:01.079
What do you think?

00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:05.319
I'm like, yeah, I guess, you know, he knows well enough to know that if I don't really want to do it, he can.

00:31:05.779 --> 00:31:07.660
He knows me enough to notice that.

00:31:07.980 --> 00:31:08.079
Right.

00:31:08.380 --> 00:31:09.480
I generally don't do that.

00:31:09.559 --> 00:31:12.460
If I really don't want to go, I'll say I don't want to go.

00:31:12.700 --> 00:31:12.799
Right.

00:31:12.980 --> 00:31:21.480
But don't ever feel guilty about something all of a sudden switching and you aren't in the moment anymore and you want to stop.

00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:22.259
That's OK.

00:31:22.579 --> 00:31:22.779
Right.

00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:26.000
Anyway, off on a tangent, I was.

00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.339
And listen, my sobby is spoiled, fucking rotten.

00:31:31.279 --> 00:31:32.180
Oh, I really am.

00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:34.559
I'll be the first to admit that.

00:31:41.180 --> 00:31:41.380
OK.

00:31:41.619 --> 00:31:44.400
The other hot button for TikTok.

00:31:44.779 --> 00:31:46.680
And this is the final one.

00:31:47.799 --> 00:31:52.019
Well, there's a couple, but final topic we're going to talk about is cuckolding.

00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:57.960
Oh, I put this one on and holy fucking hell, immediately.

00:31:58.220 --> 00:31:59.339
Like, I got a comment.

00:31:59.339 --> 00:32:01.680
I like it when a woman cheapens herself.

00:32:03.420 --> 00:32:03.519
What?

00:32:03.559 --> 00:32:04.819
I don't even know.

00:32:04.980 --> 00:32:05.759
What does that mean?

00:32:05.859 --> 00:32:07.240
And it wasn't a woman.

00:32:07.500 --> 00:32:07.839
It was.

00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:09.480
I like it when a women.

00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:10.460
OK.

00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:10.920
Yeah.

00:32:11.079 --> 00:32:13.200
Like all women or just a women.

00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:14.619
Like, what is a women?

00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:15.500
Yeah.

00:32:16.039 --> 00:32:16.500
Anyway.

00:32:17.900 --> 00:32:25.480
I, I, I don't understand where the stigma like, why is it OK for a man to fuck as many people as he wants?

00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:28.680
But then a woman does it and she's a slut or a whore.

00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:28.960
Yep.

00:32:29.460 --> 00:32:31.819
Men can be sluts or whores too.

00:32:32.039 --> 00:32:32.240
Yep.

00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:34.339
I married one.

00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:34.859
Hey.

00:32:35.099 --> 00:32:35.559
Just kidding.

00:32:36.819 --> 00:32:37.819
Maybe in my past.

00:32:38.220 --> 00:32:38.579
It's OK.

00:32:38.680 --> 00:32:39.599
You got it all out of your system.

00:32:39.660 --> 00:32:39.880
I did.

00:32:40.619 --> 00:32:44.099
Um, I, and this is one thing I instill in my daughter.

00:32:45.180 --> 00:32:50.140
Listen, if you want to fuck the whole town that we live in, that's fine.

00:32:50.279 --> 00:32:51.839
But it has to be right with you.

00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:53.680
Like, you can't go do it.

00:32:53.799 --> 00:32:57.240
And then when people call you names, I mean, you can't be ashamed of it.

00:32:57.240 --> 00:32:59.500
But if you're going to do it, fucking own it.

00:33:00.140 --> 00:33:05.039
And that is a one fantastic thing that this podcast has brought to me.

00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:11.700
Because in the beginning, I was very nervous about putting this out there and I'm like, oh my gosh, my kids, my friends, all the things.

00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:14.700
And it can't be this way for everybody.

00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:18.380
There are reasons why you can't just advertise your dynamic.

00:33:18.839 --> 00:33:26.339
But this podcast has offered such a freeing experience for me because I'm happy with the way I live and I don't want to hide it.

00:33:26.339 --> 00:33:27.880
It's not for everybody.

00:33:29.380 --> 00:33:30.700
But that's, that's okay.

00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:31.880
That's totally fine.

00:33:31.940 --> 00:33:37.559
That's like my go-to comment for all my TikToks when I get shitty comments or people like that's fucking weird.

00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:39.079
That's my go-to.

00:33:39.220 --> 00:33:39.940
It's not for everybody.

00:33:40.059 --> 00:33:40.799
And that's okay.

00:33:40.980 --> 00:33:42.599
Have a fantastic day.

00:33:42.900 --> 00:33:43.039
Yep.

00:33:43.779 --> 00:33:49.079
But it's just been so freeing to be able to just talk about my life on here.

00:33:50.200 --> 00:33:51.759
And I'm not ashamed.

00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:55.319
Like, I'm not ashamed of what I do or the life I live.

00:33:55.319 --> 00:34:04.480
And it's actually quite liberating when you get rid of giving a fuck what other people think about you, which is what I tell her all the time.

00:34:04.599 --> 00:34:07.920
Listen, if you want to have sex with all these people, that's fine.

00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:09.219
But you have to be right with it.

00:34:09.260 --> 00:34:11.019
You also have to be fucking safe.

00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:15.119
And you can't let what other people say about you bring you down.

00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:16.559
You made this choice.

00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:19.300
Other people don't have to understand the choice you made.

00:34:19.539 --> 00:34:19.639
Right.

00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:24.519
Now, she's obviously not sleeping with everybody because she isn't there.

00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:25.699
I mean, she's only 18.

00:34:25.880 --> 00:34:40.780
But I just hate the stigma that is attached to a woman who enjoys sex and does it frequently, whether it is just with her partner, whether they are in a dynamic where she sleeps with whoever she wants, whatever the case may be.

00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:43.519
Just let people live their fucking lives.

00:34:43.860 --> 00:34:44.079
Why?

00:34:44.260 --> 00:34:45.260
Why do you have to?

00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:48.280
I mean, to me, it seems like you're talking shit because you're jealous.

00:34:48.739 --> 00:34:49.019
Yep.

00:34:50.340 --> 00:34:52.019
I also tell that to my daughter.

00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:58.719
But the other comment that I got about cuckolding is I can't see an alpha male wanting.

00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:02.039
Oh, I can't see an alpha male watching this happen.

00:35:02.500 --> 00:35:04.079
Shaking my head or shrugging my.

00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:05.039
What is it?

00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:05.599
SMH.

00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:06.159
What is that?

00:35:06.460 --> 00:35:06.900
Shake my head.

00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:07.739
Shake my head.

00:35:07.960 --> 00:35:08.179
Yeah.

00:35:08.420 --> 00:35:09.699
I don't know the lingo.

00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:11.280
OK.

00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:11.880
Anywho.

00:35:12.119 --> 00:35:15.280
So this goes back to what I said in the beginning of the podcast.

00:35:15.340 --> 00:35:20.619
I'll make it fast because it appears this is going to be another long one, which I have been told they need to be shortened down a little bit.

00:35:20.619 --> 00:35:23.219
And holy fuck, how different is that from the beginning?

00:35:23.559 --> 00:35:23.659
Yeah.

00:35:23.820 --> 00:35:26.179
Like the first episode was like 10 fucking minutes.

00:35:26.219 --> 00:35:26.420
Yeah.

00:35:26.460 --> 00:35:27.539
Now we're pushing an hour.

00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:30.840
I think one was like seven minutes or 17 maybe.

00:35:30.900 --> 00:35:32.079
I was real fucking nervous.

00:35:32.199 --> 00:35:33.300
Now you can't get me to shut up.

00:35:33.559 --> 00:35:34.199
Thank you, coffee.

00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:37.039
Speaking of, you should check out the Brewtech Bugs.

00:35:37.139 --> 00:35:37.639
They're fantastic.

00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:38.219
Oh, yeah.

00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:38.840
Look at.

00:35:38.940 --> 00:35:40.539
Well, if you're on YouTube, you can see.

00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:41.519
Planetary Design.

00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:43.199
They're very cool.

00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:44.000
They are very cool.

00:35:44.179 --> 00:35:44.659
Link in bio.

00:35:44.780 --> 00:35:45.000
Yep.

00:35:45.219 --> 00:35:46.139
There's our little commercial.

00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:48.500
As if you hadn't heard enough in the beginning.

00:35:48.739 --> 00:35:48.920
Yeah.

00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:54.260
Anyway, the comment was, I can't see an alpha male watching this happen.

00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:54.960
OK.

00:35:56.480 --> 00:35:59.340
Well, that's kind of just the correct statement, right?

00:36:01.340 --> 00:36:04.019
So I am not an alpha male.

00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:05.940
I wouldn't call myself that.

00:36:06.699 --> 00:36:07.360
I am.

00:36:07.780 --> 00:36:10.440
Do people still refer to men as alpha and beta?

00:36:10.619 --> 00:36:12.260
Well, I mean, is that a thing?

00:36:12.380 --> 00:36:13.960
It's it could be, I guess.

00:36:14.019 --> 00:36:15.179
Is that a lifestyle thing?

00:36:16.300 --> 00:36:17.940
I'm pretty sure it is, actually.

00:36:17.940 --> 00:36:20.960
OK, because I've heard it a lot frequently and I don't.

00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:27.019
So I'm not an alpha male in this relationship really at all.

00:36:28.500 --> 00:36:35.360
I could be referred to as an alpha male in our home sometimes from the perspective of the kids.

00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:36.440
Right.

00:36:36.780 --> 00:36:38.920
Depending on the kids, maybe the youngest one.

00:36:39.380 --> 00:36:40.920
I think the girls know that I dominate.

00:36:41.559 --> 00:36:41.960
Right.

00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:46.780
But I mean, well, they're both fucking scared to death to talk to me about anything.

00:36:46.780 --> 00:36:48.179
Yeah, that's real weird.

00:36:48.320 --> 00:36:48.679
So.

00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:49.300
But.

00:36:49.739 --> 00:36:55.059
You know, I'm, you know, I'm the man of the house with air quotes, basically.

00:36:55.579 --> 00:36:58.920
The girls always say it's because his voice is so deep and he yells.

00:36:59.099 --> 00:37:00.179
My voice is scary.

00:37:00.420 --> 00:37:01.840
He never fucking yells.

00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:06.000
First of all, I'm the one that loses my shit and nobody's fucking scared of me.

00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:06.699
That is true.

00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:08.719
Other than my husband, which he should be.

00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:09.059
Right.

00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:09.579
Just kidding.

00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:10.760
Kind of.

00:37:11.099 --> 00:37:12.239
So maybe that's the thing.

00:37:12.340 --> 00:37:15.179
Maybe maybe the quiet one is the one to worry about.

00:37:15.699 --> 00:37:16.099
Yeah.

00:37:16.699 --> 00:37:17.699
We heard that earlier.

00:37:17.900 --> 00:37:18.500
Yes, we did.

00:37:21.099 --> 00:37:24.199
Yeah, and I guess I like how you saw that comment.

00:37:24.340 --> 00:37:25.460
I did not see it that way.

00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:28.780
I mean, that's basically making an honest statement.

00:37:28.920 --> 00:37:33.420
An alpha male wouldn't be watching this happen because that's not the dynamic of the relationship.

00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:34.820
That's interesting.

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.780
I didn't see it that way until you just said that.

00:37:36.860 --> 00:37:37.039
Right.

00:37:37.420 --> 00:37:46.880
But I mean, to the other to the other side of that, if you want to look at on the other side, if it wasn't meant that way, not all men are alpha males.

00:37:48.139 --> 00:37:59.900
You know, from the perspective of this person leaving this comment, his mind, assuming it's a him, in his mind, all men are big and strong and, you know, dominate the earth.

00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:15.280
So from his perspective, this wouldn't really fly, this relationship, this the statements that she makes, whatever that, you know, that we make, basically, it wouldn't fly in his world, basically.

00:38:15.659 --> 00:38:31.420
The other thing that fucking pisses me off, too, not to cut you off, but I have to get this in here, is when people think that like I was just talking to somebody and he made a comment about how he doesn't know if he could really be submissive because his dad raised him to be a real man.

00:38:33.239 --> 00:38:36.360
OK, first off, submissives are not fucking weak.

00:38:37.260 --> 00:38:42.219
Anybody that tells you that the submissive is weak is so way off base.

00:38:42.719 --> 00:38:53.699
I mean, in honesty, if you really break it down, the submissive really has all the power because if they quit or don't want to be the submissive anymore, it's done.

00:38:54.119 --> 00:38:54.539
Mm hmm.

00:38:54.940 --> 00:38:58.139
I mean, and not to mention all of the things that they have to do.

00:38:58.239 --> 00:39:04.000
I mean, you are not only managing yourself and your day to day tasks, you are also taking on the task.

00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.500
It's almost like being a parent.

00:39:05.500 --> 00:39:06.780
You know what I mean?

00:39:06.900 --> 00:39:14.059
You're taking care of another human being and doing things that maybe you wouldn't normally do, but you're doing it because it makes your partner happy.

00:39:16.019 --> 00:39:17.300
Obviously, within reason.

00:39:17.780 --> 00:39:20.739
But I just if there's one thing I could get across.

00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:23.199
Submissives are not weak.

00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:24.219
Holy fuck there.

00:39:24.300 --> 00:39:26.579
And I could never be a submissive for so many reasons.

00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:28.280
But one, I don't know if I'm strong enough.

00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:30.219
I don't think I could do it.

00:39:30.219 --> 00:39:35.280
I think that a real dominant would recognize the strength of a real submissive.

00:39:36.460 --> 00:39:37.480
You know what I mean?

00:39:38.219 --> 00:39:39.239
That means I'm a real dominant.

00:39:39.579 --> 00:39:39.840
Right.

00:39:40.199 --> 00:39:45.559
Because a real dominant understands what it takes to be a submissive.

00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:46.219
Mm hmm.

00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:46.380
Right.

00:39:48.960 --> 00:39:53.960
A bossy guy or a bitchy wife is not necessarily a real dominant.

00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:56.719
They're just bossy or bitchy, whatever.

00:39:56.719 --> 00:40:08.900
But a legitimate dominant person who understands not only their role, I think would fully understand what it takes to be in the submissive role.

00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:10.639
And there's so much respect.

00:40:10.900 --> 00:40:14.079
Like, I have so much respect for him, as does he for me.

00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:17.099
I mean, this relationship demands respect.

00:40:17.579 --> 00:40:20.860
And that's just my opinion on it.

00:40:20.860 --> 00:40:27.340
Sometimes a lot of these comments come from what Jim Morrison called a shortcut to thinking.

00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:40.960
Like, you didn't really think through what you wrote, or you didn't really think through what the person said, or you just ignore the right for people to say what they want to say.

00:40:41.679 --> 00:40:42.619
I mean, it is America.

00:40:43.079 --> 00:40:47.019
I'm pretty sure we have something in the Constitution about freedom of speech.

00:40:47.199 --> 00:40:47.519
Mm hmm.

00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:57.639
And this freedom of speech isn't necessarily talking about going out and murdering someone or hurting someone or whatever it is.

00:40:57.739 --> 00:40:59.460
You know, it's talking about a relationship.

00:41:02.190 --> 00:41:02.550
Well said.

00:41:09.070 --> 00:41:14.130
So on that note, I'm going to wrap it up because now I see we're at 45 minutes pre-edited.

00:41:14.650 --> 00:41:16.710
Fucking long-winded old bags, aren't we?

00:41:16.889 --> 00:41:17.070
Yeah.

00:41:17.070 --> 00:41:25.449
I cannot even begin to thank you all enough for everybody that has been with me since the first episode.

00:41:25.449 --> 00:41:27.929
The people that are just now finding me.

00:41:27.969 --> 00:41:28.889
Yeah, that's fascinating.

00:41:28.969 --> 00:41:30.469
And going back and listening to the episodes.

00:41:31.949 --> 00:41:37.849
I'm so happy, and I can't tell you how thankful I am that what I am saying is helping people.

00:41:38.969 --> 00:41:47.929
I mean, it's all I could really hope for, and it still blows my mind that, what is it, 10,000 people a month are listening to the things that I have to say.

00:41:48.289 --> 00:41:51.650
Yeah, it's been almost 15,000 at times.

00:41:52.130 --> 00:41:53.969
It's just, it blows my mind.

00:41:54.150 --> 00:41:58.909
I can't thank you all enough, and I'm always here if anybody has questions.

00:41:59.389 --> 00:42:03.070
Or, I mean, all of my contact info is out there.

00:42:03.170 --> 00:42:03.909
It's in the show notes.

00:42:04.010 --> 00:42:06.090
Jesus, Google my name, I'm fucking everywhere.

00:42:06.309 --> 00:42:06.469
Yep.

00:42:06.710 --> 00:42:07.449
Thank you, Selby.

00:42:07.769 --> 00:42:08.030
Yep.

00:42:08.909 --> 00:42:12.610
I appreciate you all more than I can even begin to show.

00:42:12.610 --> 00:42:24.050
I am so grateful for this podcast, and I am hoping very soon we will have, we will do one more episode with Bill and Carly, because they are leaving camp.

00:42:24.389 --> 00:42:24.710
Mm-hmm.

00:42:26.030 --> 00:42:28.170
And I want to get them on here one more time.

00:42:28.309 --> 00:42:31.090
That's not to say they won't ever be here again, or on here again, because.

00:42:31.269 --> 00:42:34.469
Oh, I feel like there's going to be more episodes.

00:42:34.489 --> 00:42:36.250
I really, God, they're so fucking fun.

00:42:36.849 --> 00:42:39.969
Anyway, I have some things in mind for future episodes.

00:42:39.969 --> 00:42:50.889
I'm going to also try to focus a little bit more on the female-led relationship portion, since that's really the lifestyle that I live, but I got, I really am interested by all the other dynamics as well.

00:42:50.929 --> 00:42:52.369
Yeah, it's good to talk about different things.

00:42:52.510 --> 00:42:54.210
Any questions, feel free to hit me up.

00:42:54.510 --> 00:42:56.710
I hope you all have an amazing week.

00:42:57.829 --> 00:42:58.570
Take care.

00:42:58.869 --> 00:43:01.269
Be good human beings, and we will chat soon.

00:43:02.230 --> 00:43:03.070
Can we come in?