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May 10, 2021

EP: 0136 - Female Led Relationships - What is is like to submit to the woman in your life?

EP: 0136 - Female Led Relationships - What is is like to submit to the woman in your life?

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of my lovely Mother listeners! This one goes out to you, as I try to do my part to whip your subbies into shape. This one is for the boys to sit down, shut up, and LISTEN! You've been drooling over the notion of serving the beautiful female in your life, then this one is a good one to listen to start with, or brush up your role with.

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In the spirit of Mother’s Day, I wanted to direct some focus on to my Dominant women listeners. Hello ladies, and thank you so much for listening. 

Fellas, I don’t know if you realize how many DMs or Emails from “your kind’ that steam roll in and say “OH GODDESS, I want to be your sub”.....Now while that is flattering, that’s not the way to warm up to me. That’s full court press guys. You may as well just send a pathetic dick pick and expect me to jump back at you with “Oh please, can I spend endless emails getting you off??”. Because for shit sake, I don’t have time for that. And if I did, I don’t have the interest. 

Here’s the 5 million dollar secret to “wooing” the female into being your dominant. Be, submissive.....Let that sink in. Yes, submit to her. No, don’t surprise her by putting on a pair of her panties. Don’t go out and get a cage for your dick and surprise her. That makes it YOUR fantasy, not her’s. And about that. if your are foaming at the mouth about your “fantasy”, this is the wrong podcast. This is where we talk about an FLR, Dominant Woman/ submissive male relationship, as just that, a RELATIONSHIP. This can be a way of life. This can be an every day thing, and not just a drunk Saturday night thing. Again, if you are looking to “get off”, I’m not for you. 

There are tangible, and intangible ways to submit to her, and being to settle into your place in the relationship. Let’s talk about the intangible aspects first. Because it’s more about having the right mindset before anything else. 

I feel that the most important way to either introduce, or reinforce a D/s relationship, starts with the male. And, I feel that in the most successful D/s relationships, the male is happily and securely, submissive. Touching on that quickly. “Submissive” does NOT mean that you are a pushover, or a pussy, or weak. In fact, I believe that true submissive males are some of the strongest males in the world. So don’t let some alpha-male douche make you feel like less of a man because you serve your wife. got it?? 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand let’s go over some “non- tangible” ways of submitting to the lovely woman in your life, who, let’s be honest, deserves it either way. 

1. This is probably the most important. She needs to know that she can openly and honestly communicate her thoughts and feelings, without you pouting or blowing a gasket. This isn’t about you boys, this is first and foremost. She NEEDS to feel that she has a safe environment to not only communicate, but to also assert her power over you. More on the latter later. 

2. She needs to know that she is your focus. Chastity may have to play a part if jacking off is your focus. There is more to that also, but moving on for now. And along with the focus, you need to make her feel that she is the most important human being in your life. 

3. She HAS TO feel that it is rewarding to you that you “get to” carry out tasks for her. A “thank you” goes a long way. Confiding in her that it brings you joy and makes you feel purpose when you follow her orders. That builds even more confidence in her boys, and confidence can perpetuate this whole thing. Confidence enables her to do the things that you’ve only had wild drams of. 

4. Building off of #3, even if the task or direction is difficult or if you don’t really feel like doing it, do it anyways. DO. IT. ANYWAYS. You’re not truly her submissive if you pick and choose what to do. That choice is out the window boys. But here’s the hook, those mindless to difficult tasks that are successfully performed, leads to guess what, CONFIDENCE. And along with that confidence, again, comes reward. She may then feel good about rewarding or even spoiling you! 

5. And building off of #4, your use of the word “no”, or saying things like “do I have to?” will quickly destroy ANY and ALL confidence and sense of dominance in your beautiful woman. It will all collapse worse than a building coming down. Not only will you destroy your D/s relationship, but ANY form of relationship that exists after the D/s is gone. (Unless of course you are invoking a pre-negotiated right, but thats different) “Go get the mail” is completely different than “go get the male naked while kids are playing outside next door”. Does that make more sense now? I hope so... 

Those were the behavioral or non-tangible things that will help you both cultivate your D/s relationship. Communication and honesty are foundational, and play a key part in all of those. Remember, you could very well be asking her to step out into an unfamiliar place. And if she steps out there, and not feeling confident because its never been a place or role that she has been in, she will feel vulnerability at some level. Even a dangerous level. And if you revoke her right to make the decisions for you, you may never get her back to that place again... 

Let’s touch on a few tangible or physical ideas that may be helpful in the journey that the both of you are embarking on. 

1. If your Dominant woman has a thing for affection, touch her. If you have permission of course. This DOES NOT mean grope her! (Unless that’s a negotiated right of course) What I’m talking about is touching your foot to her’s when you are watching TV or a movie or something. Hold her hand or touch her arm while you are driving, or sitting, or similar. Maybe a graze of your finger across her ass in the kitchen or wherever. I like that, but make sure that you are allowed to do that! 

2. Make her morning coffee, or in my case, a Celsius.And bring it to her while she’s still in bed. My hubby has done this, but we are now typically in a different rhythm, so I do it myself. He does though carry my shower essentials back downstairs and makes the bed if I haven’t already. Also, making supper or breakfast or whatever, while she relaxes, or sleeps in. Things like that, well, we like things like that. 

3. Along with #2, I want to add cleaning. Now, Let’s be realistic. I know that my hubby works 10-12-14 hours a day. I do not expect him to come home and clean the house because I sat on the couch and watched TV all day. Neither of those happen. However, on his shorter days, or even weekends, I put him to work. I typically take care of the inside of the house, and he takes the outside. But like I’ve said, I’m not opposed to butting him to work either inside or outside. 

4. Run her errands. And if you have to pick up tampons, do it. Make sure that you buy what she has directed you to though. Pick up groceries, drop off checks, or stop by the pharmacy. Save her the time and hassle of running errands, and do them for her. 

5. Spoil her......Yep, I said that. SPOIL HER! Now, this could range from surprising her with her favorite candy to a gift card to her favorite store to tucking a wad of $100 bills in her bra. Whatever that means wishing YOUR means, do it. Not only is she entitled to it, it’s your privilege, boys. Privilege! 

Summing up, this relationship is all about her first. And it only until you get to that point, that you will truly understand this relationship. The second that you stop making this about your selfishness, and make it about her selfishness, your world will begin to rock harder than you can imagine right now....