March 22, 2026
0607 Female Led Relationships: Why Communication Matters More Than Kink
Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me! This episode is a bit of a “back to the basics” conversation — but with some real-life perspective layered in. We’re pulling questions and comments straight from TikTok and talking through things like female-led relationships, chastity, jealousy, and what actually makes these dynamics work in real life. One of the biggest themes? People want the dynamic… but skip the foundation. If you’re sitting there thinking, “I wish my part...
Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me!
This episode is a bit of a “back to the basics” conversation — but with some real-life perspective layered in.
We’re pulling questions and comments straight from TikTok and talking through things like female-led relationships, chastity, jealousy, and what actually makes these dynamics work in real life.
One of the biggest themes?
People want the dynamic… but skip the foundation.
If you’re sitting there thinking, “I wish my partner was into FLR or chastity,” the first question isn’t about convincing them.
It’s about how you’re showing up.
How are you treating them?
How are you communicating?
Are you doing the things — or just talking about them?
We also talk about:
- Why chastity can be confusing or even off-putting at first
- How perspective changes everything in these dynamics
- The role of jealousy and boundaries in relationships
- Why understanding the “why” behind a desire matters more than the act itself
- Real examples from our relationship — including what worked and what didn’t
And one thing we keep coming back to:
There are always multiple perspectives.
Yours. Theirs. And somewhere in the middle… the truth.
This lifestyle — and really, any relationship — requires more communication than most people are used to. It’s not always easy. It takes work. It takes repetition. And sometimes it takes having the same conversation more than once.
But that’s also what makes it strong.
At the end of the day, this isn’t just about FLR.
It’s about building a relationship where you can say anything, ask anything, and grow together without feeling like you have to “deal with it” in silence.
🔑 Key Takeaway
You don’t build a strong relationship by jumping into the “sprinkles.”
You build it through communication, perspective, and understanding — everything else comes after.
Want to keep this conversation going?
Join us inside FLRSkool.com — where real couples are having real conversations about female-led relationships, power exchange, chastity, and everything in between.
Full video versions of the podcast are now exclusively available inside Skool.
And if you’ve supported me on Patreon in the past… DM me there. I’ve got you.
https://www.krystinekellogg.com/
Email Me! KrystineKellogg@Gmail.com
Keywords:
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Transcript
WEBVTT
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Thanks for having me.
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That was...
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Like a scab.
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Thanks for having me.
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Welcome back! We're gonna talk about...
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Sex, baby.
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Let's talk about you and me.
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We're gonna talk about the comments that I've gotten on my TikTok and I don't know if I have emails or not.
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This is gonna be a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants episode. A little pudgy pudgy, which we like to do these once in a while.
00:00:43.890 --> 00:00:45.590
Let's just fly by the seat of our pants.
00:00:45.689 --> 00:00:47.210
Let's see what's going on on the old ticker tocker.
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Are you ready?
00:00:49.450 --> 00:00:53.149
You're like, Hi, I'm here. You're always fucking here.
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Why do I have to introduce you? I don't know.
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You're just fucking here. You used to be so happy when I was jumped on the podcast with you and now it's like, I'm like baggage.
00:01:03.450 --> 00:01:12.890
You're like the extra that I have to have. No, you're always here. Everybody just should expect you to be here. I don't know how to do this on my own anymore. It's still my fucking podcast.
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Yes, yes it is.
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I need you to have the conversations to stimulate my brain.
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What about... Give a little pokey pokey.
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Give you a pokey pokey.
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I wouldn't fucking feel it.
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It's fine.
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It's not what you said before.
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Yeah, like back in 1982.
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Oh, that would not be the right time frame. Nope, not at all.
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I would like to retract that statement.
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That would be illegal on any levels.
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I wasn't even, I was probably walking by then.
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Yeah. Anyway.
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But we've not done housekeeping.
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Oh, and Subby's here because he needs to have his introduction or he's going to cry later.
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No, I won't.
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If you weren't here last week.
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We're glad you're here now.
00:02:02.849 --> 00:02:05.909
Yes, and go back to last week because that was fun too.
00:02:07.849 --> 00:02:09.270
We dropped our school.
00:02:10.669 --> 00:02:19.150
We launched our school. We opened our school. We did all the things with our school. School, if you don't know, is a new platform. S-K-O-O-L.
00:02:19.150 --> 00:02:23.509
The new platform. That's sort of like a Patreon on steroids.
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It's for the kids that don't know how to spell school. Correct.
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And there's a bunch of us. Come and hang out.
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We're the cool kids.
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Our specific space is F-L-R-S-K-O-O-L dot com. It'll bring you right there. We're the cool kids are. Yep. On school you get the free video versions of this podcast. It's no longer on YouTube, no longer on Patreon.
00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:48.629
Only on school.
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And that's where those live. You can see those for free.
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There's community there that's pretty active so far.
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There's like 33 people or something like that. They're pretty active with dropping comments and posts about questions. We just read one on the last episode about teasing, denial, and ruining and all that. Yep. So there's stuff going on there.
00:03:15.430 --> 00:03:26.409
We've been recording courses. Now it's on my shoulders to edit all of them, which is fun. He says we have been recording courses. I.
00:03:26.750 --> 00:03:30.710
It's my voice. Yes. But I do all the stuff back there.
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He just produces them. The three cameras set up that we have. I record them. He produces them.
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So yeah. So that's school.
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That's the big the big housekeeping. That's where we're directing our energies at. And if you want to build a community, go there. Talk with people.
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Talk with us. Leave comments.
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Post questions.
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We'll answer them.
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All the things. And fuck YouTube fuckers. Anyway.
00:04:05.689 --> 00:04:11.810
Yep. Okay. But now But now what? On to the hodgepodge.
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Oh.
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I cleanse my palate. With some Mountain Dewer.
00:04:23.730 --> 00:04:28.930
That was a hell of a cleanse. I'd like to Mountain Dewer. She wouldn't feel it. Okay.
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The first comment that I have off the old ticker tocker is obviously flames.
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Because why not? The next comment says I wish my wife was interested in anything FLR including chastity.
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Chastity is a hard one.
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A lot of women don't get it. Yeah. Let's step back first of all. Did you notice how we both went back? We both leaned back. We did. Yeah. Because we're settling in for the conversation.
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Stepping back. Yep.
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I wish my wife was more interested in things like FLR. Let's just stop there, right?
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What are you doing to spark this?
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Right? Yep.
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First of all, how are you treating her?
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Right? How are you introducing it? Maybe you're great. Maybe you're fantastic. Maybe you've done all the things. You do all the things and whatever and there's just no interest in it.
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Yep.
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We're going to start off the podcast with communication. Shot.
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Yep.
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You won't necessarily know that she's into those things if you haven't talked about it. Correct. Right?
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So, do the things first.
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Right?
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Throw the words out the window. Do the things.
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Actions speak louder than words.
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Right. Then, use your words. Yep. And have the conversations.
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Well, you know, we could look at it like this.
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This would be something different for us and something new and fresh and we could explore how our relationship could be a little bit different but guess what? It's been like this the whole time.
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If you're hoping or dreaming that your wife would get into something like this, start with the doing then do the talking.
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I can't guarantee that will lead you where you want to go but it's going to get farther than just saying something about it.
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I'll just touch on the chastity part of it.
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I know that my reaction was uncommon.
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It so was.
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But, I wish I had that screenshot.
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Oh, it was via text, wasn't it?
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Yep, sure was.
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I was in the booth, I think. Anyway, back at the ranch. And maybe this goes back further to when we first met and you were like, you know, I'm good with an open relationship.
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You can do whatever you want.
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And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
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Why doesn't he like me? Why would he want to share me?
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Because I think, to some respect, women have this little bit of them that like the jealousy.
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We like when we know our man is jealous about us getting attention from other men.
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To a point, yeah.
00:07:14.029 --> 00:07:14.310
Right.
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It can obviously be an extreme but I think that was what I struggled with the most with you in the beginning is that I didn't understand how you were just okay with it. But I will say this. Say that and then I'm gonna say. At the time that I met you, there was another person that I was oblivious to their interest, per se.
00:07:40.449 --> 00:07:50.009
But apparently they were super interested. I did not know. But they would have been very much the jealous type.
00:07:50.470 --> 00:07:59.350
Like, it would have been I mean, we don't have anything really I'm an open book. You have access to my phone. You have access to everything.
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You never utilize that.
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I never utilize it because I don't know that I'm allowed.
00:08:05.410 --> 00:08:07.209
But I know that I'm allowed.
00:08:07.930 --> 00:08:10.689
I mean, I don't really hide anything from you.
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Maybe I want you to, actually.
00:08:15.810 --> 00:08:20.769
That relationship would have been the exact opposite, I think.
00:08:20.990 --> 00:08:22.990
And I think I would have felt smothered.
00:08:23.829 --> 00:08:36.149
So, the jealousy thing or that part of it has to really, there has to be even, it's gotta be it can't be too extreme.
00:08:36.808 --> 00:08:47.509
You're very good now about like if well, you notice people giving me attention more than I. I'm fucking oblivious. Oblivious.
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If people are checking me out. I have no idea.
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I don't pay any attention. And they do.
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All the time. I don't.
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This is Okay.
00:08:57.470 --> 00:09:05.610
But I don't notice that. Like, I'm in my own little world.
00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:38.490
Which is why, if we were ever to explore cuckolding, it would be I would have to make, I've had to be very intentional because I have no idea what the fuck is going on, really. I'm in my own little world just like singing my own little songs and bopping to my own little tune and here you're looking at, anyway. I just notice things. Yeah, I don't even know where the fuck I was going with that. But, in the beginning it was very hard for me to understand why you were just like, eh, you can do what you want with anybody except for the other person that was expressing interest and then one other person and the other person no problem.
00:09:39.629 --> 00:09:51.450
Actually both of them. But I think that you saying those two people were off limits was enough for me to realize that there is something there. There's boundaries. Yes.
00:09:52.110 --> 00:10:04.710
And I think that gave me enough of a little bit of, like, not necessarily jealousy that I was looking for right? But it gave me an understanding more of what this would look like. Sure. But I bet you it took me two to three days.
00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:11.169
It certainly took you two to three days because I know that topic was off limits for two to three days.
00:10:11.169 --> 00:10:17.070
I don't know that we talked much for two to three days after that. I had a whole lot of processing because I was like, well, fuck, what am I getting myself into?
00:10:17.330 --> 00:10:19.250
Thank God I didn't say no. Can you imagine?
00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:21.049
I would have been like, fuck, I'm out, man.
00:10:21.289 --> 00:10:24.990
I don't need this. We wouldn't be sitting here right now. How sad.
00:10:25.870 --> 00:10:27.269
That's called the butterfly effect.
00:10:27.450 --> 00:10:29.289
Anyway, yes.
00:10:29.610 --> 00:10:30.250
Yes, it is.
00:10:31.129 --> 00:10:41.250
My comparison to that is I can see where that would be a reaction to the chastity as well because you're like does he want to have sex with me?
00:10:41.309 --> 00:10:43.230
Why does he want to lock his dick in a cage?
00:10:43.789 --> 00:10:46.049
Full circle, that's what I'm trying to get to.
00:10:46.789 --> 00:10:50.970
I think that it has to get ready to take a shot.
00:10:51.230 --> 00:10:55.110
It takes a lot of communication and you have to explain from different perspectives.
00:10:55.929 --> 00:11:11.330
If there's one thing that I have learned from this dynamic, it is solidly that you have to look at so many perspectives and there's a new thing that we say all the time now too is that there's three sides to every story.
00:11:11.809 --> 00:11:15.309
There's your side, their side, and the truth.
00:11:15.610 --> 00:11:15.950
Yes. Right?
00:11:16.409 --> 00:11:18.230
Who did that come from? I don't know.
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:20.590
It's very much like that.
00:11:21.149 --> 00:11:22.669
We're very good about that too.
00:11:23.009 --> 00:11:28.549
For example, I went to the post office today and the lady was just a fucking cunt.
00:11:28.710 --> 00:11:31.690
She was so fucking rude for no reason.
00:11:31.929 --> 00:11:33.610
I don't even know why.
00:11:34.710 --> 00:11:43.009
Then you have to look at maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe the person in front of me was an asshole and she's still coming off of that or whatever.
00:11:43.850 --> 00:11:44.289
You know what I mean?
00:11:45.870 --> 00:11:48.490
Very much that way in this dynamic.
00:11:50.210 --> 00:11:54.809
You told me in the beginning that I could be with whoever I wanted except these two people.
00:11:55.590 --> 00:11:57.029
I'm like, well, what the fuck?
00:11:57.409 --> 00:12:09.590
I will say that that was the beginning of me being like, okay, well, let me sit back and think about this. You brought that out in me. Why would he feel that way? What is his perspective on this? Why would he want to do that?
00:12:09.970 --> 00:12:21.370
I think that if there's one piece of advice I could give to anyone who's trying to talk to their partner about this dynamic or about chastity, offer different perspectives and explain why you're interested in this.
00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:22.750
The why is huge.
00:12:23.610 --> 00:12:29.190
I think that for me, I misunderstood your why and why you would say that to me.
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Then once I understood, I was like, holy fucking freedom.
00:12:32.690 --> 00:12:35.070
It was so eye-opening.
00:12:35.070 --> 00:12:36.070
That was the intention.
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The pure intention.
00:12:39.850 --> 00:12:42.230
Yes, I gave the boundaries.
00:12:43.049 --> 00:12:47.830
Could have been ignored if you really wanted to and that would have involved communication.
00:12:48.830 --> 00:13:02.529
Probably not. That may have been a safe word moment. But anyways, getting back at this ranch, I think what I'm trying to say is that we talk about the why.
00:13:03.730 --> 00:13:12.950
You figured out the why. There's a lot of things in an FLR that isn't just the thing at face value.
00:13:13.269 --> 00:13:14.870
It's the why behind it.
00:13:16.090 --> 00:13:22.870
That's what first, the person requesting this needs to figure out their why.
00:13:23.169 --> 00:13:23.929
Can you say it right?
00:13:25.649 --> 00:13:27.850
First, thank you.
00:13:28.190 --> 00:13:29.610
The person has to figure out their why.
00:13:29.769 --> 00:13:31.250
They have to figure out their why.
00:13:31.690 --> 00:13:35.009
Then you have to be able to explain that why.
00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:42.450
Maybe also you do some research and find out some of the broader why.
00:13:43.789 --> 00:13:46.830
Come with all the information.
00:13:48.019 --> 00:14:00.070
Not as artillery, but just to be a good resource to the beautiful woman, your wife, who is saying, I don't understand.
00:14:00.789 --> 00:14:02.129
Let me say this, too.
00:14:02.529 --> 00:14:04.289
These relationships are not easy.
00:14:05.110 --> 00:14:15.950
If anybody, if you've been listening to this podcast since the beginning, you have come along with us on a journey. It has been a journey, including the two years that we were absent.
00:14:16.330 --> 00:14:23.950
There was a lot going on, but you can go back and look at the beginning and the difference in both of us to where we are now.
00:14:24.169 --> 00:14:25.870
It's hard fucking work.
00:14:26.009 --> 00:14:27.210
It's hard work. It can be, yeah.
00:14:27.269 --> 00:14:32.950
People think relationships are supposed to be easy, but nothing worth anything is really easy.
00:14:33.990 --> 00:14:35.769
Nothing easy is worth anything.
00:14:36.509 --> 00:14:37.690
I wouldn't say that.
00:14:38.330 --> 00:14:39.129
I'm worth it.
00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:41.129
You're not easy, though. That's true.
00:14:41.450 --> 00:14:43.750
I am not easy. I am a complicated mess.
00:14:43.870 --> 00:14:45.190
No, I've heard that before.
00:14:45.490 --> 00:14:47.909
On the relationships, that is the next comment.
00:14:48.490 --> 00:14:53.629
The next comment down on TikTok was that female-led relationships are the future.
00:14:54.529 --> 00:14:54.769
Yeah.
00:14:55.210 --> 00:14:59.750
As much as I wish that was the case, I don't know.
00:15:00.649 --> 00:15:21.750
I will always until my last breath be working towards making this dynamic more conversational, where people can have conversations about this relationship and it not be like, oh my god, you guys are freaks, or you believe in whips and chains and handcuffs, and so what if I fucking do?
00:15:21.809 --> 00:15:22.590
Don't kink shame me.
00:15:23.029 --> 00:15:24.789
Not the point, right?
00:15:25.590 --> 00:15:29.210
There's like 95% not that.
00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:30.789
At least in ours.
00:15:31.230 --> 00:15:41.950
Maybe in somebody else's, it is all whips and chains and handcuffs, but what we talk about here is we're really talking about the foundation, and that is also what school is about, because shameless plug number two.
00:15:44.269 --> 00:15:51.230
When we started this, I don't know that even still, there's hardly any place you can go.
00:15:51.649 --> 00:16:01.809
I mean, there's other creators out there. I'm not implying that I'm one of a kind, but I don't know how many people are really talking about the communication and the work that goes into it.
00:16:02.149 --> 00:16:11.389
I think more of the creators out there are more talking about the sprinkles, right? That's also important. I'm not implying that it is.
00:16:11.549 --> 00:16:12.970
Right, but it's just different.
00:16:12.970 --> 00:16:26.570
My core belief is that you have to have a strong foundation, and I think us, specifically, we have a rock-solid foundation. We have been through some shit.
00:16:26.929 --> 00:16:34.090
Through some shit, and never once though I have told him his breathing annoys me, do I wish that he would stop it, right?
00:16:35.190 --> 00:16:37.190
I mean, really, I don't...
00:16:37.190 --> 00:16:44.169
Honestly, we have been around each other for like 24 hours, 24 7, right?
00:16:44.490 --> 00:16:45.990
For a couple years now.
00:16:46.409 --> 00:16:47.990
Since we've moved into the bus, yeah.
00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:51.009
We have work days apart or whatever.
00:16:51.289 --> 00:16:52.629
And we didn't for a long time.
00:16:52.830 --> 00:17:02.549
Our first winter... Literally 24 7 for months at a time. Oh my god, our first winter in the camper, we literally didn't do anything. I don't know that you ever went anywhere without me. Nope.
00:17:02.769 --> 00:17:04.210
Or vice versa. Exactly.
00:17:04.608 --> 00:17:12.049
Yeah, we were always, always together, and never once did I think, man, if I just put this pillow over his face, the breathing would stop. Not once.
00:17:12.430 --> 00:17:14.710
But we got there with communication. Yes.
00:17:14.769 --> 00:17:16.230
I would agree. That's how we got there.
00:17:16.769 --> 00:17:20.630
And that doesn't mean that we didn't get on each other's nerves. It happens.
00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:26.769
We're humans. Especially that first summer in the camper, because we were trying to develop the business, and I...
00:17:28.349 --> 00:17:35.529
I'm a slow learner. That's it. That's all we're gonna say about it. But, there were some times I bet you he would have wanted to put a pillow over my face. No.
00:17:36.569 --> 00:17:38.170
I wanted to put one over my own.
00:17:39.430 --> 00:17:40.609
That's a whole other...
00:17:40.609 --> 00:17:42.470
Yes, it was frustrating. ...conversation.
00:17:43.029 --> 00:17:57.329
My whole point to even saying any of that was, no matter how frustrating it was, we always came back around. We talked about it a little bit. We had lots of long conversations, and I don't know that I ever...
00:17:57.329 --> 00:18:09.950
I mean, I didn't ever think it was going to break us. I thought it might divide us a little bit, but we worked through it. And it was a lot of talking, and I felt like we talked about the same thing a lot, but sometimes you have to have that.
00:18:10.809 --> 00:18:13.230
Me, personally, sometimes it takes that repetition.
00:18:14.430 --> 00:18:16.029
Building the bus, too, also.
00:18:17.390 --> 00:18:21.309
Building the bus, still. Yeah, but the beginning was rough. Yeah.
00:18:22.309 --> 00:18:24.970
Well, but we were under a time crunch.
00:18:25.849 --> 00:18:30.369
I had a lot to get done by a certain date, by myself.
00:18:30.589 --> 00:18:34.150
Yeah. So...
00:18:35.289 --> 00:18:37.789
So we have successfully... We covered some ground there.
00:18:38.009 --> 00:18:40.789
Yes. Yep. We talked about perspectives.
00:18:41.890 --> 00:18:47.430
I don't know if I ever finished with the female-led relationships being the future.
00:18:48.549 --> 00:19:03.710
I would love for them to be more open, more openly discussed, and I would love, obviously, I want people to know more of what these dynamics look like, and I will say this... And how not freaky necessarily they are.
00:19:03.710 --> 00:19:06.289
Yeah, God, we are so fucking vanilla most of the time.
00:19:06.369 --> 00:19:07.990
It's ridiculous. Yeah.
00:19:08.750 --> 00:19:10.269
It's ridiculous. Sort of.
00:19:10.309 --> 00:19:14.089
I mean... Sort of. Exterior, yes. Yes. That is valid.
00:19:14.430 --> 00:19:15.390
Yep, on the outside.
00:19:16.069 --> 00:19:18.049
Yeah, on the inside...
00:19:19.029 --> 00:19:19.910
Lots of sprinkles.
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:25.569
Outwardly, we are very vanilla. Inwardly, we are very chocolate. Oh, I'm just kidding.
00:19:25.869 --> 00:19:26.630
We are very... Mmm.
00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:30.150
Like, you'd be inwardly chocolate.
00:19:30.150 --> 00:19:33.710
Okay. Anyways... Back at the ranch. You're not opposed, though.
00:19:34.349 --> 00:19:35.809
No. Anyway.
00:19:37.849 --> 00:19:38.029
What?
00:19:38.130 --> 00:19:39.450
Stop. We have six minutes.
00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:41.750
But...
00:19:43.609 --> 00:19:47.730
That point is that outwardly you can be very vanilla. Yes.
00:19:48.589 --> 00:19:51.990
Inwardly, it's your business. Yes.
00:19:52.289 --> 00:19:57.910
Right? I would just like the female-led relationship to be more commonplace.
00:19:57.910 --> 00:20:03.470
You know what I mean? We have all these other different relationship dynamics or like...
00:20:04.490 --> 00:20:09.509
I'm not... And I'm not trying to compare it to being gay or whatever, right? Mmm.
00:20:09.509 --> 00:20:21.109
But if you look at where we were at even five years ago, ten years ago, talking about someone being gay or homosexual or whatever the correct terminology is because I'm oblivious.
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:25.410
Ten years ago, nobody was really talking about it. It was like very...
00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:26.769
Oh my goodness.
00:20:27.250 --> 00:20:33.450
And now you talk about it. People are like, yeah, so what's your point? You know what I mean? It's more commonplace. I would like...
00:20:33.450 --> 00:20:56.509
It would be awesome if female-led relationships were that way. But at the end of the day, the one thing I would like people to realize is that literally the healthiest relationship I have ever been in, and it is also one of the only relationships I... It is the only relationship I have ever been in where I... There's nothing that I won't tell you. There's nothing that I feel like I can't say to you.
00:20:57.150 --> 00:21:05.450
We could be mid-hot steamy sex session and I'd be like, I don't like that. Stop it. Absolutely. I've never felt like that with anybody. Absolutely.
00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:23.509
I would just be like, I can tough it out and deal with it even though I'm not enjoying it. Never have I felt that way with you. Dealing with it. Yes. Is the key fucking phrase right there. Yes. And I'm not saying... There's nothing that you should have to deal with. Right. And I'm not saying that just because you're in a female-led relationship you don't have to deal with anything.
00:21:24.069 --> 00:21:37.930
Yeah. But I'm saying for me personally this has been the healthiest relationship because of all of the communication you need to have because it's such uncharted territory. Right. Like this is an entirely different way of living your life.
00:21:38.049 --> 00:21:45.750
Yeah. Depending on what you add for sprinkles. Absolutely. And for me it's been the healthiest and the most...
00:21:45.750 --> 00:22:24.269
I have experienced the most personal growth. Like I look back at pictures of myself even from I mean just 15 years ago I had to make sure I didn't include when we've been together. Do the math. I was like how long have we been together? Okay so like 15 years ago. No but I mean even just from when we first got together. I look so different. I mean I always I feel like since I've been with you I always look happy but I just look very different. Like I'm more you can just see the confidence. Absolutely. Like I think this relationship has been seriously life changing for me.
00:22:25.609 --> 00:22:25.809
Yep.
00:22:26.630 --> 00:22:33.089
And whether that's the FLR or just because of the person I'm in it with maybe both. Whatever that looks like.
00:22:33.130 --> 00:22:34.470
Yeah maybe a mixture of some sort.
00:22:34.750 --> 00:22:44.490
Right. And there's so many FLRs that are being lived in houses across America that aren't aware that they're FLRs. Yes. Right.
00:22:44.490 --> 00:22:46.450
And it doesn't have to be called that. No.
00:22:46.750 --> 00:22:56.650
I mean even if somebody listened to this podcast and they're like I'm not going to be in a female led relationship but they took away that you know active listening. Pay attention to your partner. Good relationship. Yes.
00:22:56.750 --> 00:23:02.410
If you take away tips to make your relationship better but it's not a female led relationship it's a fucking win.
00:23:02.529 --> 00:23:13.750
I'm so happy that you listened to my podcast enough to get something from it that will benefit you and your partner or just your relationship in general. Yep. I mean that is really the purpose for this podcast. Absolutely.
00:23:14.349 --> 00:23:15.890
And because I like to hear myself talk.
00:23:16.329 --> 00:23:17.690
So. That's how it started. Yep.
00:23:18.630 --> 00:23:21.130
No it started because I wanted to. Kind of. Yeah it did.
00:23:23.450 --> 00:23:24.730
That's how ES started.
00:23:25.130 --> 00:23:27.410
I got my porn voice on.
00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:29.190
You don't even talk like that.
00:23:29.369 --> 00:23:31.269
You're just naturally sexy. Anyways.
00:23:32.910 --> 00:23:37.569
I think that's it. I think that was my whole point in the rant about the female led relationship.
00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:37.829
Yep.
00:23:39.589 --> 00:23:41.470
Thanks for having me.
00:23:41.650 --> 00:23:42.890
Yeah I was fucking here.
00:23:44.210 --> 00:23:45.250
Like a scab.
00:23:45.509 --> 00:23:45.730
Thanks.
00:23:46.109 --> 00:23:50.109
Thanks for being here.
00:23:52.170 --> 00:23:54.250
You are a great addition to the podcast.
00:23:54.450 --> 00:24:02.130
You make me think and sometimes when I look at you I well sometimes I want to punch you and sometimes you make me think and say smart things.
00:24:02.809 --> 00:24:05.329
So. It's a fine line.
00:24:05.329 --> 00:24:05.789
Thank you.
00:24:07.289 --> 00:24:08.849
Welcome to Perimenopause.
00:24:09.589 --> 00:24:11.369
Just kidding though it's always been me.
00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:17.130
Is that it? Are we done? Are we all out? I think so. Okay.
00:24:17.970 --> 00:24:18.849
Stay safe.
00:24:19.329 --> 00:24:21.589
Be kind. Stay healthy.
00:24:22.009 --> 00:24:23.089
I love you all.
00:24:24.130 --> 00:24:24.690
Can we come in?
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.689
Thanks for having me.
00:00:01.689 --> 00:00:03.089
That was...
00:00:03.689 --> 00:00:05.349
Like a scab.
00:00:05.589 --> 00:00:06.370
Thanks for having me.
00:00:19.809 --> 00:00:25.789
Welcome back! We're gonna talk about...
00:00:25.789 --> 00:00:27.170
Sex, baby.
00:00:27.690 --> 00:00:29.690
Let's talk about you and me.
00:00:31.350 --> 00:00:36.429
We're gonna talk about the comments that I've gotten on my TikTok and I don't know if I have emails or not.
00:00:36.590 --> 00:00:42.210
This is gonna be a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants episode. A little pudgy pudgy, which we like to do these once in a while.
00:00:43.890 --> 00:00:45.590
Let's just fly by the seat of our pants.
00:00:45.689 --> 00:00:47.210
Let's see what's going on on the old ticker tocker.
00:00:48.630 --> 00:00:49.250
Are you ready?
00:00:49.450 --> 00:00:53.149
You're like, Hi, I'm here. You're always fucking here.
00:00:53.310 --> 00:00:54.890
Why do I have to introduce you? I don't know.
00:00:54.890 --> 00:01:01.130
You're just fucking here. You used to be so happy when I was jumped on the podcast with you and now it's like, I'm like baggage.
00:01:03.450 --> 00:01:12.890
You're like the extra that I have to have. No, you're always here. Everybody just should expect you to be here. I don't know how to do this on my own anymore. It's still my fucking podcast.
00:01:13.209 --> 00:01:14.269
Yes, yes it is.
00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:18.109
I need you to have the conversations to stimulate my brain.
00:01:19.250 --> 00:01:21.430
What about... Give a little pokey pokey.
00:01:22.549 --> 00:01:24.310
Give you a pokey pokey.
00:01:24.409 --> 00:01:25.609
I wouldn't fucking feel it.
00:01:25.670 --> 00:01:26.290
It's fine.
00:01:26.769 --> 00:01:28.549
It's not what you said before.
00:01:28.989 --> 00:01:31.069
Yeah, like back in 1982.
00:01:31.530 --> 00:01:34.890
Oh, that would not be the right time frame. Nope, not at all.
00:01:35.090 --> 00:01:36.829
I would like to retract that statement.
00:01:37.069 --> 00:01:40.489
That would be illegal on any levels.
00:01:40.650 --> 00:01:43.310
I wasn't even, I was probably walking by then.
00:01:43.510 --> 00:01:44.790
Yeah. Anyway.
00:01:44.989 --> 00:01:49.489
But we've not done housekeeping.
00:01:51.269 --> 00:01:56.950
Oh, and Subby's here because he needs to have his introduction or he's going to cry later.
00:01:57.310 --> 00:01:57.890
No, I won't.
00:01:58.469 --> 00:02:00.129
If you weren't here last week.
00:02:01.390 --> 00:02:02.629
We're glad you're here now.
00:02:02.849 --> 00:02:05.909
Yes, and go back to last week because that was fun too.
00:02:07.849 --> 00:02:09.270
We dropped our school.
00:02:10.669 --> 00:02:19.150
We launched our school. We opened our school. We did all the things with our school. School, if you don't know, is a new platform. S-K-O-O-L.
00:02:19.150 --> 00:02:23.509
The new platform. That's sort of like a Patreon on steroids.
00:02:24.150 --> 00:02:26.210
It's for the kids that don't know how to spell school. Correct.
00:02:27.270 --> 00:02:29.270
And there's a bunch of us. Come and hang out.
00:02:30.169 --> 00:02:31.009
We're the cool kids.
00:02:31.090 --> 00:02:46.710
Our specific space is F-L-R-S-K-O-O-L dot com. It'll bring you right there. We're the cool kids are. Yep. On school you get the free video versions of this podcast. It's no longer on YouTube, no longer on Patreon.
00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:48.629
Only on school.
00:02:49.090 --> 00:02:51.590
And that's where those live. You can see those for free.
00:02:53.189 --> 00:02:56.530
There's community there that's pretty active so far.
00:02:56.750 --> 00:03:14.870
There's like 33 people or something like that. They're pretty active with dropping comments and posts about questions. We just read one on the last episode about teasing, denial, and ruining and all that. Yep. So there's stuff going on there.
00:03:15.430 --> 00:03:26.409
We've been recording courses. Now it's on my shoulders to edit all of them, which is fun. He says we have been recording courses. I.
00:03:26.750 --> 00:03:30.710
It's my voice. Yes. But I do all the stuff back there.
00:03:30.909 --> 00:03:37.090
He just produces them. The three cameras set up that we have. I record them. He produces them.
00:03:39.389 --> 00:03:40.810
So yeah. So that's school.
00:03:40.930 --> 00:03:53.050
That's the big the big housekeeping. That's where we're directing our energies at. And if you want to build a community, go there. Talk with people.
00:03:53.490 --> 00:03:55.789
Talk with us. Leave comments.
00:03:56.669 --> 00:03:57.610
Post questions.
00:03:58.430 --> 00:03:59.530
We'll answer them.
00:04:00.949 --> 00:04:05.150
All the things. And fuck YouTube fuckers. Anyway.
00:04:05.689 --> 00:04:11.810
Yep. Okay. But now But now what? On to the hodgepodge.
00:04:12.090 --> 00:04:12.210
Oh.
00:04:17.329 --> 00:04:21.310
I cleanse my palate. With some Mountain Dewer.
00:04:23.730 --> 00:04:28.930
That was a hell of a cleanse. I'd like to Mountain Dewer. She wouldn't feel it. Okay.
00:04:30.269 --> 00:04:34.930
The first comment that I have off the old ticker tocker is obviously flames.
00:04:35.670 --> 00:04:41.230
Because why not? The next comment says I wish my wife was interested in anything FLR including chastity.
00:04:42.410 --> 00:04:43.490
Chastity is a hard one.
00:04:44.550 --> 00:04:55.829
A lot of women don't get it. Yeah. Let's step back first of all. Did you notice how we both went back? We both leaned back. We did. Yeah. Because we're settling in for the conversation.
00:04:56.029 --> 00:04:56.829
Stepping back. Yep.
00:04:57.230 --> 00:05:02.769
I wish my wife was more interested in things like FLR. Let's just stop there, right?
00:05:03.949 --> 00:05:08.750
What are you doing to spark this?
00:05:09.750 --> 00:05:10.089
Right? Yep.
00:05:11.089 --> 00:05:13.029
First of all, how are you treating her?
00:05:14.709 --> 00:05:22.129
Right? How are you introducing it? Maybe you're great. Maybe you're fantastic. Maybe you've done all the things. You do all the things and whatever and there's just no interest in it.
00:05:22.829 --> 00:05:23.310
Yep.
00:05:25.170 --> 00:05:28.930
We're going to start off the podcast with communication. Shot.
00:05:29.490 --> 00:05:29.750
Yep.
00:05:31.569 --> 00:05:36.810
You won't necessarily know that she's into those things if you haven't talked about it. Correct. Right?
00:05:37.290 --> 00:05:40.889
So, do the things first.
00:05:42.050 --> 00:05:42.490
Right?
00:05:42.930 --> 00:05:45.329
Throw the words out the window. Do the things.
00:05:45.790 --> 00:05:47.050
Actions speak louder than words.
00:05:47.170 --> 00:05:51.329
Right. Then, use your words. Yep. And have the conversations.
00:05:51.529 --> 00:05:55.310
Well, you know, we could look at it like this.
00:05:55.370 --> 00:06:06.110
This would be something different for us and something new and fresh and we could explore how our relationship could be a little bit different but guess what? It's been like this the whole time.
00:06:07.649 --> 00:06:16.389
If you're hoping or dreaming that your wife would get into something like this, start with the doing then do the talking.
00:06:17.370 --> 00:06:22.550
I can't guarantee that will lead you where you want to go but it's going to get farther than just saying something about it.
00:06:22.910 --> 00:06:24.910
I'll just touch on the chastity part of it.
00:06:25.089 --> 00:06:27.790
I know that my reaction was uncommon.
00:06:28.790 --> 00:06:30.189
It so was.
00:06:30.670 --> 00:06:33.790
But, I wish I had that screenshot.
00:06:35.810 --> 00:06:37.810
Oh, it was via text, wasn't it?
00:06:38.269 --> 00:06:39.410
Yep, sure was.
00:06:39.709 --> 00:06:51.709
I was in the booth, I think. Anyway, back at the ranch. And maybe this goes back further to when we first met and you were like, you know, I'm good with an open relationship.
00:06:51.709 --> 00:06:52.870
You can do whatever you want.
00:06:53.230 --> 00:06:55.670
And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?
00:06:55.670 --> 00:06:57.870
Why doesn't he like me? Why would he want to share me?
00:06:58.230 --> 00:07:02.910
Because I think, to some respect, women have this little bit of them that like the jealousy.
00:07:03.430 --> 00:07:11.680
We like when we know our man is jealous about us getting attention from other men.
00:07:13.149 --> 00:07:13.930
To a point, yeah.
00:07:14.029 --> 00:07:14.310
Right.
00:07:15.209 --> 00:07:38.029
It can obviously be an extreme but I think that was what I struggled with the most with you in the beginning is that I didn't understand how you were just okay with it. But I will say this. Say that and then I'm gonna say. At the time that I met you, there was another person that I was oblivious to their interest, per se.
00:07:40.449 --> 00:07:50.009
But apparently they were super interested. I did not know. But they would have been very much the jealous type.
00:07:50.470 --> 00:07:59.350
Like, it would have been I mean, we don't have anything really I'm an open book. You have access to my phone. You have access to everything.
00:07:59.829 --> 00:08:01.709
You never utilize that.
00:08:02.009 --> 00:08:05.089
I never utilize it because I don't know that I'm allowed.
00:08:05.410 --> 00:08:07.209
But I know that I'm allowed.
00:08:07.930 --> 00:08:10.689
I mean, I don't really hide anything from you.
00:08:13.910 --> 00:08:15.649
Maybe I want you to, actually.
00:08:15.810 --> 00:08:20.769
That relationship would have been the exact opposite, I think.
00:08:20.990 --> 00:08:22.990
And I think I would have felt smothered.
00:08:23.829 --> 00:08:36.149
So, the jealousy thing or that part of it has to really, there has to be even, it's gotta be it can't be too extreme.
00:08:36.808 --> 00:08:47.509
You're very good now about like if well, you notice people giving me attention more than I. I'm fucking oblivious. Oblivious.
00:08:47.509 --> 00:08:49.710
If people are checking me out. I have no idea.
00:08:49.830 --> 00:08:51.210
I don't pay any attention. And they do.
00:08:52.110 --> 00:08:53.710
All the time. I don't.
00:08:53.769 --> 00:08:56.909
This is Okay.
00:08:57.470 --> 00:09:05.610
But I don't notice that. Like, I'm in my own little world.
00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:38.490
Which is why, if we were ever to explore cuckolding, it would be I would have to make, I've had to be very intentional because I have no idea what the fuck is going on, really. I'm in my own little world just like singing my own little songs and bopping to my own little tune and here you're looking at, anyway. I just notice things. Yeah, I don't even know where the fuck I was going with that. But, in the beginning it was very hard for me to understand why you were just like, eh, you can do what you want with anybody except for the other person that was expressing interest and then one other person and the other person no problem.
00:09:39.629 --> 00:09:51.450
Actually both of them. But I think that you saying those two people were off limits was enough for me to realize that there is something there. There's boundaries. Yes.
00:09:52.110 --> 00:10:04.710
And I think that gave me enough of a little bit of, like, not necessarily jealousy that I was looking for right? But it gave me an understanding more of what this would look like. Sure. But I bet you it took me two to three days.
00:10:06.210 --> 00:10:11.169
It certainly took you two to three days because I know that topic was off limits for two to three days.
00:10:11.169 --> 00:10:17.070
I don't know that we talked much for two to three days after that. I had a whole lot of processing because I was like, well, fuck, what am I getting myself into?
00:10:17.330 --> 00:10:19.250
Thank God I didn't say no. Can you imagine?
00:10:19.610 --> 00:10:21.049
I would have been like, fuck, I'm out, man.
00:10:21.289 --> 00:10:24.990
I don't need this. We wouldn't be sitting here right now. How sad.
00:10:25.870 --> 00:10:27.269
That's called the butterfly effect.
00:10:27.450 --> 00:10:29.289
Anyway, yes.
00:10:29.610 --> 00:10:30.250
Yes, it is.
00:10:31.129 --> 00:10:41.250
My comparison to that is I can see where that would be a reaction to the chastity as well because you're like does he want to have sex with me?
00:10:41.309 --> 00:10:43.230
Why does he want to lock his dick in a cage?
00:10:43.789 --> 00:10:46.049
Full circle, that's what I'm trying to get to.
00:10:46.789 --> 00:10:50.970
I think that it has to get ready to take a shot.
00:10:51.230 --> 00:10:55.110
It takes a lot of communication and you have to explain from different perspectives.
00:10:55.929 --> 00:11:11.330
If there's one thing that I have learned from this dynamic, it is solidly that you have to look at so many perspectives and there's a new thing that we say all the time now too is that there's three sides to every story.
00:11:11.809 --> 00:11:15.309
There's your side, their side, and the truth.
00:11:15.610 --> 00:11:15.950
Yes. Right?
00:11:16.409 --> 00:11:18.230
Who did that come from? I don't know.
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:20.590
It's very much like that.
00:11:21.149 --> 00:11:22.669
We're very good about that too.
00:11:23.009 --> 00:11:28.549
For example, I went to the post office today and the lady was just a fucking cunt.
00:11:28.710 --> 00:11:31.690
She was so fucking rude for no reason.
00:11:31.929 --> 00:11:33.610
I don't even know why.
00:11:34.710 --> 00:11:43.009
Then you have to look at maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe the person in front of me was an asshole and she's still coming off of that or whatever.
00:11:43.850 --> 00:11:44.289
You know what I mean?
00:11:45.870 --> 00:11:48.490
Very much that way in this dynamic.
00:11:50.210 --> 00:11:54.809
You told me in the beginning that I could be with whoever I wanted except these two people.
00:11:55.590 --> 00:11:57.029
I'm like, well, what the fuck?
00:11:57.409 --> 00:12:09.590
I will say that that was the beginning of me being like, okay, well, let me sit back and think about this. You brought that out in me. Why would he feel that way? What is his perspective on this? Why would he want to do that?
00:12:09.970 --> 00:12:21.370
I think that if there's one piece of advice I could give to anyone who's trying to talk to their partner about this dynamic or about chastity, offer different perspectives and explain why you're interested in this.
00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:22.750
The why is huge.
00:12:23.610 --> 00:12:29.190
I think that for me, I misunderstood your why and why you would say that to me.
00:12:29.190 --> 00:12:32.230
Then once I understood, I was like, holy fucking freedom.
00:12:32.690 --> 00:12:35.070
It was so eye-opening.
00:12:35.070 --> 00:12:36.070
That was the intention.
00:12:36.450 --> 00:12:38.090
The pure intention.
00:12:39.850 --> 00:12:42.230
Yes, I gave the boundaries.
00:12:43.049 --> 00:12:47.830
Could have been ignored if you really wanted to and that would have involved communication.
00:12:48.830 --> 00:13:02.529
Probably not. That may have been a safe word moment. But anyways, getting back at this ranch, I think what I'm trying to say is that we talk about the why.
00:13:03.730 --> 00:13:12.950
You figured out the why. There's a lot of things in an FLR that isn't just the thing at face value.
00:13:13.269 --> 00:13:14.870
It's the why behind it.
00:13:16.090 --> 00:13:22.870
That's what first, the person requesting this needs to figure out their why.
00:13:23.169 --> 00:13:23.929
Can you say it right?
00:13:25.649 --> 00:13:27.850
First, thank you.
00:13:28.190 --> 00:13:29.610
The person has to figure out their why.
00:13:29.769 --> 00:13:31.250
They have to figure out their why.
00:13:31.690 --> 00:13:35.009
Then you have to be able to explain that why.
00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:42.450
Maybe also you do some research and find out some of the broader why.
00:13:43.789 --> 00:13:46.830
Come with all the information.
00:13:48.019 --> 00:14:00.070
Not as artillery, but just to be a good resource to the beautiful woman, your wife, who is saying, I don't understand.
00:14:00.789 --> 00:14:02.129
Let me say this, too.
00:14:02.529 --> 00:14:04.289
These relationships are not easy.
00:14:05.110 --> 00:14:15.950
If anybody, if you've been listening to this podcast since the beginning, you have come along with us on a journey. It has been a journey, including the two years that we were absent.
00:14:16.330 --> 00:14:23.950
There was a lot going on, but you can go back and look at the beginning and the difference in both of us to where we are now.
00:14:24.169 --> 00:14:25.870
It's hard fucking work.
00:14:26.009 --> 00:14:27.210
It's hard work. It can be, yeah.
00:14:27.269 --> 00:14:32.950
People think relationships are supposed to be easy, but nothing worth anything is really easy.
00:14:33.990 --> 00:14:35.769
Nothing easy is worth anything.
00:14:36.509 --> 00:14:37.690
I wouldn't say that.
00:14:38.330 --> 00:14:39.129
I'm worth it.
00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:41.129
You're not easy, though. That's true.
00:14:41.450 --> 00:14:43.750
I am not easy. I am a complicated mess.
00:14:43.870 --> 00:14:45.190
No, I've heard that before.
00:14:45.490 --> 00:14:47.909
On the relationships, that is the next comment.
00:14:48.490 --> 00:14:53.629
The next comment down on TikTok was that female-led relationships are the future.
00:14:54.529 --> 00:14:54.769
Yeah.
00:14:55.210 --> 00:14:59.750
As much as I wish that was the case, I don't know.
00:15:00.649 --> 00:15:21.750
I will always until my last breath be working towards making this dynamic more conversational, where people can have conversations about this relationship and it not be like, oh my god, you guys are freaks, or you believe in whips and chains and handcuffs, and so what if I fucking do?
00:15:21.809 --> 00:15:22.590
Don't kink shame me.
00:15:23.029 --> 00:15:24.789
Not the point, right?
00:15:25.590 --> 00:15:29.210
There's like 95% not that.
00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:30.789
At least in ours.
00:15:31.230 --> 00:15:41.950
Maybe in somebody else's, it is all whips and chains and handcuffs, but what we talk about here is we're really talking about the foundation, and that is also what school is about, because shameless plug number two.
00:15:44.269 --> 00:15:51.230
When we started this, I don't know that even still, there's hardly any place you can go.
00:15:51.649 --> 00:16:01.809
I mean, there's other creators out there. I'm not implying that I'm one of a kind, but I don't know how many people are really talking about the communication and the work that goes into it.
00:16:02.149 --> 00:16:11.389
I think more of the creators out there are more talking about the sprinkles, right? That's also important. I'm not implying that it is.
00:16:11.549 --> 00:16:12.970
Right, but it's just different.
00:16:12.970 --> 00:16:26.570
My core belief is that you have to have a strong foundation, and I think us, specifically, we have a rock-solid foundation. We have been through some shit.
00:16:26.929 --> 00:16:34.090
Through some shit, and never once though I have told him his breathing annoys me, do I wish that he would stop it, right?
00:16:35.190 --> 00:16:37.190
I mean, really, I don't...
00:16:37.190 --> 00:16:44.169
Honestly, we have been around each other for like 24 hours, 24 7, right?
00:16:44.490 --> 00:16:45.990
For a couple years now.
00:16:46.409 --> 00:16:47.990
Since we've moved into the bus, yeah.
00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:51.009
We have work days apart or whatever.
00:16:51.289 --> 00:16:52.629
And we didn't for a long time.
00:16:52.830 --> 00:17:02.549
Our first winter... Literally 24 7 for months at a time. Oh my god, our first winter in the camper, we literally didn't do anything. I don't know that you ever went anywhere without me. Nope.
00:17:02.769 --> 00:17:04.210
Or vice versa. Exactly.
00:17:04.608 --> 00:17:12.049
Yeah, we were always, always together, and never once did I think, man, if I just put this pillow over his face, the breathing would stop. Not once.
00:17:12.430 --> 00:17:14.710
But we got there with communication. Yes.
00:17:14.769 --> 00:17:16.230
I would agree. That's how we got there.
00:17:16.769 --> 00:17:20.630
And that doesn't mean that we didn't get on each other's nerves. It happens.
00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:26.769
We're humans. Especially that first summer in the camper, because we were trying to develop the business, and I...
00:17:28.349 --> 00:17:35.529
I'm a slow learner. That's it. That's all we're gonna say about it. But, there were some times I bet you he would have wanted to put a pillow over my face. No.
00:17:36.569 --> 00:17:38.170
I wanted to put one over my own.
00:17:39.430 --> 00:17:40.609
That's a whole other...
00:17:40.609 --> 00:17:42.470
Yes, it was frustrating. ...conversation.
00:17:43.029 --> 00:17:57.329
My whole point to even saying any of that was, no matter how frustrating it was, we always came back around. We talked about it a little bit. We had lots of long conversations, and I don't know that I ever...
00:17:57.329 --> 00:18:09.950
I mean, I didn't ever think it was going to break us. I thought it might divide us a little bit, but we worked through it. And it was a lot of talking, and I felt like we talked about the same thing a lot, but sometimes you have to have that.
00:18:10.809 --> 00:18:13.230
Me, personally, sometimes it takes that repetition.
00:18:14.430 --> 00:18:16.029
Building the bus, too, also.
00:18:17.390 --> 00:18:21.309
Building the bus, still. Yeah, but the beginning was rough. Yeah.
00:18:22.309 --> 00:18:24.970
Well, but we were under a time crunch.
00:18:25.849 --> 00:18:30.369
I had a lot to get done by a certain date, by myself.
00:18:30.589 --> 00:18:34.150
Yeah. So...
00:18:35.289 --> 00:18:37.789
So we have successfully... We covered some ground there.
00:18:38.009 --> 00:18:40.789
Yes. Yep. We talked about perspectives.
00:18:41.890 --> 00:18:47.430
I don't know if I ever finished with the female-led relationships being the future.
00:18:48.549 --> 00:19:03.710
I would love for them to be more open, more openly discussed, and I would love, obviously, I want people to know more of what these dynamics look like, and I will say this... And how not freaky necessarily they are.
00:19:03.710 --> 00:19:06.289
Yeah, God, we are so fucking vanilla most of the time.
00:19:06.369 --> 00:19:07.990
It's ridiculous. Yeah.
00:19:08.750 --> 00:19:10.269
It's ridiculous. Sort of.
00:19:10.309 --> 00:19:14.089
I mean... Sort of. Exterior, yes. Yes. That is valid.
00:19:14.430 --> 00:19:15.390
Yep, on the outside.
00:19:16.069 --> 00:19:18.049
Yeah, on the inside...
00:19:19.029 --> 00:19:19.910
Lots of sprinkles.
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:25.569
Outwardly, we are very vanilla. Inwardly, we are very chocolate. Oh, I'm just kidding.
00:19:25.869 --> 00:19:26.630
We are very... Mmm.
00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:30.150
Like, you'd be inwardly chocolate.
00:19:30.150 --> 00:19:33.710
Okay. Anyways... Back at the ranch. You're not opposed, though.
00:19:34.349 --> 00:19:35.809
No. Anyway.
00:19:37.849 --> 00:19:38.029
What?
00:19:38.130 --> 00:19:39.450
Stop. We have six minutes.
00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:41.750
But...
00:19:43.609 --> 00:19:47.730
That point is that outwardly you can be very vanilla. Yes.
00:19:48.589 --> 00:19:51.990
Inwardly, it's your business. Yes.
00:19:52.289 --> 00:19:57.910
Right? I would just like the female-led relationship to be more commonplace.
00:19:57.910 --> 00:20:03.470
You know what I mean? We have all these other different relationship dynamics or like...
00:20:04.490 --> 00:20:09.509
I'm not... And I'm not trying to compare it to being gay or whatever, right? Mmm.
00:20:09.509 --> 00:20:21.109
But if you look at where we were at even five years ago, ten years ago, talking about someone being gay or homosexual or whatever the correct terminology is because I'm oblivious.
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:25.410
Ten years ago, nobody was really talking about it. It was like very...
00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:26.769
Oh my goodness.
00:20:27.250 --> 00:20:33.450
And now you talk about it. People are like, yeah, so what's your point? You know what I mean? It's more commonplace. I would like...
00:20:33.450 --> 00:20:56.509
It would be awesome if female-led relationships were that way. But at the end of the day, the one thing I would like people to realize is that literally the healthiest relationship I have ever been in, and it is also one of the only relationships I... It is the only relationship I have ever been in where I... There's nothing that I won't tell you. There's nothing that I feel like I can't say to you.
00:20:57.150 --> 00:21:05.450
We could be mid-hot steamy sex session and I'd be like, I don't like that. Stop it. Absolutely. I've never felt like that with anybody. Absolutely.
00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:23.509
I would just be like, I can tough it out and deal with it even though I'm not enjoying it. Never have I felt that way with you. Dealing with it. Yes. Is the key fucking phrase right there. Yes. And I'm not saying... There's nothing that you should have to deal with. Right. And I'm not saying that just because you're in a female-led relationship you don't have to deal with anything.
00:21:24.069 --> 00:21:37.930
Yeah. But I'm saying for me personally this has been the healthiest relationship because of all of the communication you need to have because it's such uncharted territory. Right. Like this is an entirely different way of living your life.
00:21:38.049 --> 00:21:45.750
Yeah. Depending on what you add for sprinkles. Absolutely. And for me it's been the healthiest and the most...
00:21:45.750 --> 00:22:24.269
I have experienced the most personal growth. Like I look back at pictures of myself even from I mean just 15 years ago I had to make sure I didn't include when we've been together. Do the math. I was like how long have we been together? Okay so like 15 years ago. No but I mean even just from when we first got together. I look so different. I mean I always I feel like since I've been with you I always look happy but I just look very different. Like I'm more you can just see the confidence. Absolutely. Like I think this relationship has been seriously life changing for me.
00:22:25.609 --> 00:22:25.809
Yep.
00:22:26.630 --> 00:22:33.089
And whether that's the FLR or just because of the person I'm in it with maybe both. Whatever that looks like.
00:22:33.130 --> 00:22:34.470
Yeah maybe a mixture of some sort.
00:22:34.750 --> 00:22:44.490
Right. And there's so many FLRs that are being lived in houses across America that aren't aware that they're FLRs. Yes. Right.
00:22:44.490 --> 00:22:46.450
And it doesn't have to be called that. No.
00:22:46.750 --> 00:22:56.650
I mean even if somebody listened to this podcast and they're like I'm not going to be in a female led relationship but they took away that you know active listening. Pay attention to your partner. Good relationship. Yes.
00:22:56.750 --> 00:23:02.410
If you take away tips to make your relationship better but it's not a female led relationship it's a fucking win.
00:23:02.529 --> 00:23:13.750
I'm so happy that you listened to my podcast enough to get something from it that will benefit you and your partner or just your relationship in general. Yep. I mean that is really the purpose for this podcast. Absolutely.
00:23:14.349 --> 00:23:15.890
And because I like to hear myself talk.
00:23:16.329 --> 00:23:17.690
So. That's how it started. Yep.
00:23:18.630 --> 00:23:21.130
No it started because I wanted to. Kind of. Yeah it did.
00:23:23.450 --> 00:23:24.730
That's how ES started.
00:23:25.130 --> 00:23:27.410
I got my porn voice on.
00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:29.190
You don't even talk like that.
00:23:29.369 --> 00:23:31.269
You're just naturally sexy. Anyways.
00:23:32.910 --> 00:23:37.569
I think that's it. I think that was my whole point in the rant about the female led relationship.
00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:37.829
Yep.
00:23:39.589 --> 00:23:41.470
Thanks for having me.
00:23:41.650 --> 00:23:42.890
Yeah I was fucking here.
00:23:44.210 --> 00:23:45.250
Like a scab.
00:23:45.509 --> 00:23:45.730
Thanks.
00:23:46.109 --> 00:23:50.109
Thanks for being here.
00:23:52.170 --> 00:23:54.250
You are a great addition to the podcast.
00:23:54.450 --> 00:24:02.130
You make me think and sometimes when I look at you I well sometimes I want to punch you and sometimes you make me think and say smart things.
00:24:02.809 --> 00:24:05.329
So. It's a fine line.
00:24:05.329 --> 00:24:05.789
Thank you.
00:24:07.289 --> 00:24:08.849
Welcome to Perimenopause.
00:24:09.589 --> 00:24:11.369
Just kidding though it's always been me.
00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:17.130
Is that it? Are we done? Are we all out? I think so. Okay.
00:24:17.970 --> 00:24:18.849
Stay safe.
00:24:19.329 --> 00:24:21.589
Be kind. Stay healthy.
00:24:22.009 --> 00:24:23.089
I love you all.
00:24:24.130 --> 00:24:24.690
Can we come in?
