Feb. 15, 2026

0603 Female Led Relationships: Discipline, Ritual & Consent

0603 Female Led Relationships: Discipline, Ritual & Consent

Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me! In this episode of Krystine’s FLR Podcast, I talk openly about spanking in a Female-Led Relationship — and why it’s so often misunderstood. This conversation was inspired by a listener email describing maintenance spankings used not as punishment, but as ritual, grounding, and reinforcement within an FLR dynamic. We break down the difference between punishment, discipline, arousal, and consent, and why spanking doesn’t have to ...

Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me!

In this episode of Krystine’s FLR Podcast, I talk openly about spanking in a Female-Led Relationship — and why it’s so often misunderstood.

This conversation was inspired by a listener email describing maintenance spankings used not as punishment, but as ritual, grounding, and reinforcement within an FLR dynamic. We break down the difference between punishment, discipline, arousal, and consent, and why spanking doesn’t have to be abusive, parental, or uncomfortable when it’s mutual and intentional.

I share my personal experience navigating spanking as a dominant woman, how my understanding evolved over time, and why communication matters more than technique. We also talk about stress, submission, trust, and how physical discipline can support emotional connection when both partners are aligned.

If you’re curious about FLR discipline, consensual spanking, or how power exchange works in real relationships (not porn), this episode gives you clarity without pressure or judgment.

Topics Covered

  • Spanking in a Female-Led Relationship
  • Maintenance spanking vs punishment
  • Discipline vs ritual in FLR
  • Consent and communication in power exchange
  • Why arousal doesn’t invalidate discipline
  • Real-life FLR dynamics beyond fantasy
  • Trust and emotional safety in spanking
  • How dominant women grow into confidence

Key Takeaway

Spanking isn’t about pain or punishment — it’s about communication, trust, and intentional leadership. If it works for your relationship, it’s valid. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too.

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Keywords:
domestic discipline, female led relationship dynamics, accountability, communication, people pleaser, personal growth, female led relationship challenges, discipline strategies, humor in relationships, shared growth, female led relationship advice, discipline and play, understanding in partnerships, personal anecdotes, physical touch, relationship rules, partnership growth, podcast insights, female-led relationships, submissive rewards, holiday appreciation, partner devotion, relationship dynamics,, control and appreciation, partner confidence, submissive devotion, unique dynamics, balance of control, partner nurturing, relationship empowerment, submissive strength.pegging, female-led relationship, kink, empowerment, dominance, submission, ass play, emotional connection, intimacy, power play, strap-on, control

Transcript
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00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:36.920
Yeah, but this is in a good way. Oh, yeah in a productive way. Yeah, I think yes So yeah, there is that so yay or nay, I would say yay. I like it. Yep moving. I mean Take two welcome back We tried this once already, so we're gonna do it again. Yes, we did. What do we have for house keeping?

00:00:40.079 --> 00:01:02.619
Do we want to talk about how much I cook I've had how I don't put my leggings hopefully I don't put my leggings or And you ran today for a whole minute that's all right one whole nothing was chasing you You did it intentionally. Is this housekeeping?

00:01:02.979 --> 00:02:04.000
I'm working on my fitness journey because we're not gonna talk about what we're going to do or what might or might not be on the horizon, correct But we we are recording now the third Consecutive episode so we're on a roll cuz our follow-through game in the past has been lame Well, there is life, but we are on new perspective and we're on season We've decided to call it season sex season sex Episode 3 and this one here gets no sex. Nope. If you see me huddling together. Oh On this video it's because it's fucking cold here. It is chilly in the studio And there's I mean, it's cold in the state we live and I'm scared to say where I'm from anymore Yep, but it's cold and it's even colder. It feels like inside the studio So here we are and I'm going to just shiver my way through this. I am on a caffeine high So yay me. Mm-hmm. Hence why I said I didn't want to poop my leggings Right, I understand. Okay, just making sure you're following Keep up on the ADD not follow you. Are you kidding me?

00:02:04.859 --> 00:02:31.189
Is there any more housekeeping? What else? I don't think so. Okay somebody had asked about control and I mean, I could put it up on the buzzsprout and if anybody's interested and send you a link or something or I don't know I Would love to keep working on it I would but it's a lot of work to produce that one It can be a lot. So hopefully some in 2026. We'll see That would be fun. Okay, is that it for housekeeping?

00:02:35.009 --> 00:06:34.670
Anywho today on season sex episode 3 We're gonna talk about Spanking I received an email from a listener Why are you laughing at me? I just thought what episode 7 and episode 9 are gonna be like when we get to them anyways anyways A listener had just listened to An episode from July of 25, which would have been season 5 where we talked about spanking so I'm going to go over a few things in the email and talk about a couple things that popped up in my mind and Wait, what are season 7 or what's episode 7 and 9? It's 6 7. Yes, 6 7. Yeah that whole thing Anyway, yeah, I'm we're gonna blind react I'm gonna talk about it. We'll see what subbies reaction is. So let's get out the phone. Yep. Okay So this individual is a alpha by day beta by night. Okay, and the first thing that they talk about is Every morning and every evening, but we're gonna focus on morning to start his mistress Spanks him with a hairbrush to remind him that he is her sissy bitch boy Here's what I the first little bit of that that I found interesting I think in the episode that we did because you know, I can't remember yesterday so I can't be sure what that episode was all about but Initially any other time we've talked about spanking we've talked about how It's usually viewed as a punishment However, you enjoy it So it's more of a punishment and we've talked about how maybe you would act up just to get the spankings and maybe we don't have to maybe it becomes a ritual or you know what I mean, like I was very intrigued by using this as a reminder that You're my bitch You know what? I mean? It's not it's now it's not a punishment or a punishment It's just a part of it's like what you do at night where you tell me how amazing I am that you are so Tell me your thoughts on that. What do you think about that? Okay along those lines then we know somebody a wonderful couple who do have done do At one point at least we know that they were doing maintenance spankings. Yep, right So that this sounds like that that kind of goes along with that then a hundred percent. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, but those were also though I think centered reinforcement reinforcement, but also there was extras for bad behavior, right so So this would be This would be a maintenance thing right because it's it's done every morning like to I need to maintain that you are Like a reminder. Yeah, I guess I can see Yeah, I got you. I guess ritual just resonates differently with me. Yeah, but this is in a good way. Oh, yeah Yeah in a productive way. Yeah, I think yes. So yeah, there is that so yay or nay I would say yay I like it. Yep moving. I mean goals Let me get out my handy-dandy cellular device Okay second topic, but I would like to talk about is Is After the spankings occur There is either a chastity device put on or Panties from my understanding of how the email went. It's one or the other right? So my question is for you Hmm. Are you doing?

00:06:35.790 --> 00:08:06.870
Couldn't you do both? Yes. That's what I was thinking. I mean What's sexier than a chastity device and pain yes provided the panties Provide this needed support. Yes, so there is that that's the caveat to that, right? Yeah, like you're not putting a thong on No Maybe I mean give her a go. I will say I'm trying to decide whether to go out on this road or not I will say that that when when I wore my boxer briefs And we're not gonna say any more about that quite yet that might be a whole whole nother Okay, continue we have someone to introduce to you at some point anyways Those had great support. Yeah, they really did. Okay since not wearing those What I am wearing has moderate support But the thing word that I wear over those provide even more support. Oh So I'm saying so it's still snug. So so would you say that just I'll just for this reference call them underwear. Mm-hmm that you wear Well, you have been caged for the short periods of time that you have recently Would you say that that offers enough support or would you say your boxer briefs offer more?

00:08:06.870 --> 00:08:11.870
I would say the boxer briefs offer more. So maybe a different do you think a different size?

00:08:11.949 --> 00:08:55.529
yes, underwear would be different or a style or fabric or you need like you need more of like the boy short, but female just not Hmm, I think they probably get the clue. But anyways, I would say that if what I'm wearing were a more Confining material. Oh not cotton Okay, I mean, oh, yeah, we're a similar material to that briefs. Yeah Okay So it's nothing to do with the briefs or the style of it. It's right They say it's the cotton stretches out throughout the day, right?

00:08:56.230 --> 00:10:21.549
Yep, so okay. I like it. Okay Throughout the workday she does remind him that he is her sissy bitch and Also talks about other hot males that she encounters throughout her day and how they have a larger dick than him and The real man and well anybody who's listened to this podcast for any amount of time Knows and for those of you who are new here, that is a huge turn-on for my savvy He very much enjoys when I talk about a real man Which is a very great gateway For the next thing he talks about oh the spanking is very arousing So he receives an erection. It sounds so clinical. He gets a boner. Mm-hmm sounds so middle school, but There's no middle ground. Is there? No, there isn't there's nothing in between. I suppose I could say he gets an erection That's such a Erection On that note. Yes. Well, I'm just kidding Wow, anyway That's something that I've always found fascinating about you specifically is I Could do all of the sexy things in the world, right?

00:10:21.549 --> 00:14:40.669
like I could whisper in his ear and caress him and all the things and his little partner would Not come to attention If I mentally I'm fucking yes, 100% However, I slap him in the balls a couple times or beat on him a little bit or choke instant instant Attention so that hello here to party. Yep. So that means I'm I'm a sadist then basically Is that what that is? I believe so you would be the masochist I don't know if I like that. I mean, I don't know that I dislike it I think I don't know unless it's the other way around. I think Am I sadist in your I don't know. I don't know anybody who's listening to this if you have feedback Please hit me up Christine Kellogg at gmail.com. We will answer that question on the next episode. Yeah, I just think that it's interesting that Spanking you or abusing you specifically. I mean If I was in the giving mood and decided to allow entrance into my holy temple each whole ley That is how I would That is how I would Get the little man at attention is I would just promptly choke and smack the shit out of him which is interesting because I Mean even at the beginning of this podcast. I had a very hard time being mean to him. I have settled Yeah There's no hesitancy and it's great I love it. Yes. I mean, I know I wouldn't laugh about it If it was a problem in our relationship, this is something that he has been aspiring for me to reach I've been opening the door for you. Yes do that and and through our communication We would have if you didn't like it if it wasn't something you were up to up for whatever It wouldn't be happening and that would be okay, yeah, right, but I at least wanted to open the door You enjoy it. I enjoy it game fucking on. Yes, right and I mean Again, if you're new here one thing that I have always very much appreciated about my subbie and even if you're not a reminder He has never been I mean, we've had we've had Topping from the bottom in the very beginning But that was mainly he was trying to offer me guidance also, which kind of led to what started this podcast in the beginning is I wanted to offer a resource for people who needed guidance but didn't want to specifically go to their partner because in these dynamics the men are very Usually the men are very raring to go and Excited and you know what? I mean, like they just want to get into it and they expect maybe not expect maybe isn't the right word But they're hoping for so much out of their partner and it gets overwhelming So I want to I wanted to offer a space for women Where or even just guidance where you don't necessarily have to ask but you just know you're one not alone and two it does get overwhelming we are weared very differently than men and I Appreciate that you have never pushed and you have always made it very clear That no matter what whether I'm into it or not I mean, maybe we try something and I'm like this really isn't for me and I have done that and then turned around a year Later and been like, oh, I'm really into this Yep, he's very patient with me and he's always said if this is something you're not into it's not a deal-breaker I don't at the end of the day. I want to be with you always and forever. Mm-hmm And however, you are is perfect for me. So I Think a lot of things have started with What do you think about this Right, and that's where fuck. Yeah was born, right? Fuck. Yes. Yes. Let's talking about the chastity. Yes, right What do you think about this? Yeah, right and and when I say that I really want to know what she thinks about that Right. So so guys if you're bringing stuff up to your wife Started out with what do you think about this and then be receptive?

00:14:41.470 --> 00:15:24.350
Active listening active listening and being receptive so that you can start to learn Like relearn your partner, right? Mm-hmm your wife your goddess It's always fun to relearn. Mm-hmm. The person you're spending your life with because things change right Again referring back to our friends with the maintenance makings Um, they've been together their entire life entire adult life, right and it wasn't like this way early on correct Right. I think it was when the kids left the house that they I mean not for him specific kind of yeah I think but and then and then things started out like well, what do you think of this?

00:15:25.230 --> 00:15:32.129
Right, so, you know ten years ago. It would have been are you fucking crazy? Mm-hmm, but today it's huh?

00:15:32.129 --> 00:15:54.590
Maybe you know, let me think on that right so things can change and I don't don't push her or whatever I think a lot of that comes with maturity and Maturity maybe isn't the right word as I get older. I get much more comfortable in my skin. Mm-hmm and we as An aside we get to a point in life where we say fuck what other people think yes, right?

00:15:54.750 --> 00:22:05.769
Mm-hmm so there is that and I think that comes with age and experience like even especially in Encountering things with our our daughters who are no longer teenagers. They are adults now and as they mature and grow older They get to a point where They also have the I don't give a fuck they're starting that already in their 20s, which is good and which is great because Having that ability at that young of an age open so many doors. Yeah My daughter cares a little bit more what people think than yours, but I think yours also cares quite a bit to an extent Yeah on certain things. Yes Yours is much more bold. Mine is a little bit more reserved Sometimes sometimes she does have a little bit of her mama in her. Yeah but like like I'm learning today that she has a top a shirt of some sort much like a co-worker of hers Who's a guy and he's like wears a 2x whatever, but she has the identical style the identical look just in a different size and Some sort of there's a wash, you know, she washes it for him or something She's in a clinical setting and she does some of the laundry and this must be something that this other worker wears at work So she wants to bring her version and put it on a hanger because and tell him Oh, cuz there's notes all over to not dry it. He doesn't write to shrink. So and she wants to bring it on in here Oh, I'm sorry. I tried it. Here's what it looks. That's fucking hilarious. I Don't know that she would actually do it, but I think she should it would be fun, but I understand Yes, where were we? What were you talking about? Oh you being open and yeah all the things. Yeah What else on the email? Okay, so They also participate in pegging and he takes her on shopping sprees to high-end stores things like that Spoiling. Yes. I think the biggest my biggest takeaway from this was that I found it interesting that he also Gets aroused from the spankings and things like that. I think it's also interesting that I mean I've always kind of known this since I've started the podcast that a lot of people who are in a high power or high stress Work environment tend to be submissive in their home lives because they need that release Therapeutic and I think in the episode that we did about spanking We also talked about how spanking can be therapeutic and I want to say to that. We had dr. B on Also talking about spanking I don't know if those episodes those older episodes are published or not but quite yet I don't think that's coming. Yes. So we do talk about spanking kind of a lot I struggled with spanking a lot in the beginning. I Very much Enjoy it. Mm-hmm not to circle back to say life gets in the way But again for those of you who are new we do live in a bus with my 16 year old son so yeah that part of it can be a little bit tricky, but We do participate in it occasionally. Yep On the quick thing about the the spanking thing that you had a hard time with that first Yeah, I think it was the time that we got the horse thing And you wanted me to try it on you so that you could feel it Yeah, the light bulb went off at that point. That was a that was another fuck. Yeah a moment I don't even remember. I must have watched a YouTube video or something that Had mentioned sometimes it's better to have it done to you in a less aggressive manner to see what it's like Yeah, and I do understand The thrill of it. I do like the sting of it I think you like I don't know that you like the pain of it But you like it a little bit more harsh than I think I would like it. Yeah, I Think that you're doing it. Yes. I think mine has something to do with childhood things and whatever but But that helped you understand it did a hundred percent some some people are like that. Maybe they maybe your wife needs to You know Understand in that way what it what it's like, right? Mm-hmm. Maybe I don't know Yeah, I mean if if you are in a female-led relationship and this is something that you're tiptoeing into and your submissive partner has more Experience maybe in this lifestyle I find just from experience in doing this podcast that generally the men Have a little bit more experience Maybe not even experience just knowledge of what a female-led relationship looks like or things like that or think they have or yeah I'm not saying that's always the case but For instance you had dabbled into different alternative lifestyles prior to me not female-led relationship No wise but You had a little bit more of a kink history than I did. This was all kind of new to me I mean, I I knew what swinging was, but I think everybody does to a certain extent. Yeah, I Would never have trusted any partner I have ever been with other than you to To try that on me like you are the only person that I would give something and say, okay I want you to spank me with it. Mm-hmm that never would have happened because I'd never trusted any of my past partners It's a trust thing. Sure. I Trusted our communication. I trusted that he would listen if I said stop and I was able to ask questions Mm-hmm. Do I think that it turned me on any I don't know that I was turned on by it Other than I was turned on by I was excited to do it to him that part does turn me on so and I don't know Speaking as as like this the emailer is doing it I don't know that that necessarily has to be a turn-on for the person doing it It can be more of a I mean I think okay, so that would be a question right? Yeah just in conclusion Would you say that if it's a turn-on and that is why it's being done or would you say it's just almost like part of the relationship To remind him who's in control like it's yes. I Mean, maybe maybe yes to both, right?

00:22:05.849 --> 00:22:17.529
Yeah, like not every woman will will be turned on by it Right, but she may feel fulfilled or enjoy it or enjoy about being aroused, right?

00:22:17.690 --> 00:22:57.009
Right, so there may be different levels of that and there's no wrong level. Mm-hmm. I feel right I would agree. So and I think to to any woman listening to this if spanking is something that was like a hard no for you or because a lot of what I get is I'm not their mother and I get that I I mean I would I Have no desire to take him over my knee that feels too motherly. Mm-hmm, but like in the instance of the emailer Hairbrush, and maybe you bent on the bed. Mm-hmm would be different. What was that chuckle for?

00:22:58.210 --> 00:23:14.990
You would like to be over my knee. No, not at all. Oh, okay When okay, so when you said hairbrush, let's circle back maybe 20 years of my life and watching a lot of VeggieTales. Oh Where is my hairbrush?

00:23:16.650 --> 00:24:03.170
I'm sorry, it lives rent-free. Yeah. Yep on that note Hmm VeggieTales religion things like that. Hmm. We had a discussion on our way to the studio to record this episode I posed a question and I would like anybody listening to this. I would love to hear your response. So when I met my subbie there was a lot of kink That came at me right from the get-go along with some religion. Mm-hmm So when I first met him, he was interested in becoming a pastor mm-hmm, so my question that I would love to get some feedback on is Anybody that is participating in a female-led relationship dynamic Religious and do you struggle?

00:24:04.130 --> 00:24:19.130
Being religious and living this lifestyle. Mm-hmm, and that could be a future episode Yeah, but I would love some feedback on that like, you know You're in an FLR and you go to church every Sunday. Mm-hmm. How do those two things work together?

00:24:19.210 --> 00:24:43.970
yeah, and this is not a judgment no right or wrong or whatsoever because Genuinely curious in there. Yep, right and and probably will be there or whatever. So yep, I Have no knowledge. I mean I grew up Catholic, but that doesn't mean I know anything about Biblically or anything like that, but right so right so biblically where where does that stand like can you find the passages?

00:24:44.250 --> 00:25:06.910
Can you can you well and I don't even know I I don't necessarily need and there might be but yeah Necessarily new passages either I would just be curious what your faith journey looks like along with your female-led relationship journey I know that from a sermon that we had gone to years and years ago that the Pastor this church was a little bit out there, but in a good way, right?

00:25:09.049 --> 00:26:46.289
He paraphrased One scripture by saying as as long as you are married you can have crazy monkey sex right So that's like as long as you're married You can do whatever But then where does cuckolding come in? Yeah, right, and I don't even necessarily yeah We don't even need to delve that deep into it. I mean we can't But yeah, that's a sprinkle. That's kind of part of that. Yeah, right for sure. So I'm just more interested judgment-free zone I'm just yeah, I'm genuinely curious about how you Intermingle those two and your thoughts on that it would be a it would be a great conversation If we if anybody listening here would like to be on that episode. Yeah, to be honest Yep, we can be discreet we can you know blur your face and all the things or whatever It can just be an audio episode too, right and it could just be that and and whatever so it you know That's wide open to I think yep. Just genuinely curious. Yep, and listen, who knows what we'll talk about next week or month No, yeah, we don't know. We're just flying by the seat of our pants. So I hope you enjoyed this episode on spanking. I Hope you enjoyed this episode on spanking You were running through that like sprinting. Yeah, I'm worried the cameras gonna shut off but That's it for this one, I think I think so anything else Thank you to the person who sent me the email and sparked this conversation I enjoy talking about these things with my subbie and you I hope you have a fantastic week Be kind stay healthy. I love you all Here we come in