Jan. 28, 2026
0203 Female Led Relationships: What FLR Looks Like for Real Couples: Chastity, Chaos, and Consent
Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me! ///// RE-RELEASE ///// Today I'm talking about what an FLR really looks like (hint: there’s no rulebook), how cuckolding and chastity can work when they’re born from trust and real-life communication, and yes… I'm diving into a wild little corner of the kink blogosphere called “Erection Correction.” Buckle up, the caffeine is kickin in! What You'll Hear in This Episode: What female-led really means — and why your version doesn’...
Sadly I cannot respond directly to your text, so please Email me!
///// RE-RELEASE /////
Today I'm talking about what an FLR really looks like (hint: there’s no rulebook), how cuckolding and chastity can work when they’re born from trust and real-life communication, and yes… I'm diving into a wild little corner of the kink blogosphere called “Erection Correction.” Buckle up, the caffeine is kickin in!
What You'll Hear in This Episode:
- What female-led really means — and why your version doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s
- Why our cuckolding dynamic works for us — and how we created it with mutual honesty
- The real impact of chastity on behavior, control, and daily life
- Why our FLR isn’t always kink-forward — and why that’s okay
- A look at the German blog that introduced us to the idea of “erection correction” — and Krystine’s take on it
- A reminder: FLR isn’t about impressing strangers. It’s about making things work with your actual life
Practical Takeaways:
- You don’t need chastity, cuckolding, or punishment protocols to have a real FLR. You just need communication and consent.
- Some FLRs are hardcore. Some are soft. Some are both, depending on the season of life you’re in.
- Don’t judge your dynamic by what you see online — especially when people are performing.
- Learn how to glean, not mimic. Take what helps you grow. Leave what doesn’t serve you.
- Erection correction? It’s real. It’s intense. And it’s a hell of a mindset shift. (Not for the faint of heart, but totally fascinating.)
My FLR Life Right Now
Things are wild around here. Life is a little chaotic — we’re moving, juggling family, and keeping up with business. Our FLR is still very much present, but it’s on a softer autopilot mode right now. That’s real life. That’s love. That’s what makes our dynamic sustainable.
https://www.krystinekellogg.com/
Email Me! KrystineKellogg@Gmail.com
Want to support the podcast and be involved with the behind-the-scenes, including voting on episode topics, as well as tiptoe with me into this whole "coaching" thing. Find my Patreon HERE!
Keywords:
domestic discipline, female led relationship dynamics, accountability, communication, people pleaser, personal growth, female led relationship challenges, discipline strategies, humor in relationships, shared growth, female led relationship advice, discipline and play, understanding in partnerships, personal anecdotes, physical touch, relationship rules, partnership growth, podcast insights, female-led relationships, submissive rewards, holiday appreciation, partner devotion, relationship dynamics,, control and appreciation, partner confidence, submissive devotion, unique dynamics, balance of control, partner nurturing, relationship empowerment, submissive strength.pegging, female-led relationship, kink, empowerment, dominance, submission, ass play, emotional connection, intimacy, power play, strap-on, control
Transcript
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Nobody really does things right but me.
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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.
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If you are not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.
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This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.
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We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists.
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We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.
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Welcome back, season two, episode three.
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This is going to be a combination of topics.
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We are going to talk a little bit about what is an FLR or what is an FLR to your dynamic as well as a little bit on Locktober.
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But before we get into that, let's address some housekeeping.
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The first, I don't know, it's been a busy, busy, busy week.
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We are all done at camp for the season.
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Makes me very sad.
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Our camper is all packed up and winterized.
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So we have one down, one to go.
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We are getting ready for Door County, Wisconsin to hopefully not be late to the party as usual and see some fall color.
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We are going to be leaving tomorrow morning early to take my husband and I and his daughter.
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It was supposed to be a last camping trip with our girls, but my daughter is going to California with her friend.
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So I really think that's it for housekeeping.
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I can't think of anything else.
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Why don't we just dive in?
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All right.
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So let's start with what is an FLR?
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If you're listening to this podcast, you probably already know, but it's a female-led relationship.
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The female is in control.
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Now, that being said, your dynamic is your dynamic.
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It's whatever works for you.
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So while you are in control of all things, you can also delegate because you are in control.
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There is no checklist or set in stone definition of a female-led relationship.
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It is whatever works for you and your partner.
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That is going to be different for every person in a female-led relationship because people are entirely different.
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There are many aspects to a female-led relationship that you can add or choose not to add.
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You can add cuckolding.
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You could add chastity, which is where October comes in, my favorite month.
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Or you can choose not to add either.
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And that is totally fine too.
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Anybody who maybe doesn't know what cuckolding is, cuckolding, because I always like to say holding, cuckolding, anyway, that is where it's kind of a one-sided open relationship.
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For example, in our relationship, I am allowed to play with other people and my subbie is not.
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Now, before anybody comes at me with that is bullshit or I'm a whore, whatever, and frankly, I don't give a fuck, but this is something that we sat down and discussed at length.
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And if I'm getting right down to it and being totally honest, it was 100% his idea.
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It is not for everyone and that's okay.
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You can be in an FLR relationship and not participate in cuckolding.
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It is entirely what works best for you.
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So in our relationship, we had a discussion at length and it's something that is important to him or that he has turned on by and he would like to be a part of our relationship.
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He is very involved anytime I choose to play with anyone.
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And as I've said before, I'm more comfortable if he's there.
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That may not always be the case.
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I may want alone time with whoever I'm playing with, but up to this point, that has not been something that I choose to do.
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I just feel safer with him there.
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I have some history with a bad sexual experience when I was very young and I think it still affects me to this day.
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So he's like my protector.
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I feel better when he's there.
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And that's kind of part of our dynamic too.
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He is in chastity and can't touch himself as he watches me with someone else doing things to me that he can't.
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All of that being said, thank you to COVID.
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We really have not, and just life in general, it really hasn't been a part of our dynamic lately.
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Safety is important if anybody is thinking about doing this.
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One person that I did play with prior to COVID, both of us went and had a full panel of STD tests done and everything like that, and had the sheet showing that we were both clean.
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That's a fantastic idea.
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There's clinics everywhere that will test you for real cheap.
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Obviously still use protection or, I mean, and that's on you if you choose to use protection or not.
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That's between you and who you're playing with or what your dynamic is with your relationship.
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I choose to be safe.
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But again, I haven't really done much recently just because of the state of affairs of the world.
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And I just choose to not right now.
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And life in general is real busy.
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Maybe now that camp's over, things will settle down enough or I don't know.
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We'll see what happens.
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Also adding chastity to your dynamic can be a fantastic addition.
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The benefits of chastity are the orgasm denial, the significant changes you will notice in your partner once they are locked up are pretty amazing.
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The first few days can be a little rough for both parties.
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It can be quite an adjustment.
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And like I've said before, start out slow.
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I mean, make sure that you don't jump into doing a whole month right from the get-go.
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And we'll get into that more when I talk a little bit about Locktober towards the end.
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You sure don't have to add cuckolding or chastity to your female-led relationship.
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You can simply just have a female-led relationship that is just you and your partner and you being in control, if you are the female, of the entire relationship.
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And what does that look like to be in control?
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There are many, many ways that you can look at that.
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I always say do your own research, but I was chatting with somebody last night and, you know, doing your own research is fantastic, but don't let yourself get discouraged because the people that are writing these articles probably have entirely different circumstances than you.
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You kind of have to glean the information that you find useful and that can be implemented in your own dynamic.
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But don't take it as this is what's set in stone because everybody has a different lifestyle.
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Everybody has different challenges.
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Everybody has different jobs.
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You have to glean the information that is useful to your relationship and implement it accordingly.
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There's nothing set in stone and there are female-led relationships that probably look very similar to just a standard vanilla relationship.
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And there are probably others that are hardcore, you know, like I talked about in episode 12 where the woman has a power of attorney and the man literally has no rights or access to any of their property, any of their belongings, any of their money, any of the things.
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You choose what works best for your relationship.
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Our relationship right now is a little bit less kinky or hardcore FLR than it has been in the past just because of things that are happening in our life.
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We are getting ready to transition to moving into our camper.
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We are working on getting our businesses going.
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My husband's work is slowing down.
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There are a lot of circumstances that are affecting how we live our life.
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While I am still in control, I do a lot of things for him to take care of him.
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Whether I'm in control or not, I fucking love that man.
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And I wanna make sure that I, just like he does for me, do whatever I can to make his life a little bit easier.
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And that's our dynamic.
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And I've said this before too, if somebody was to be observing our relationship from outside, they'd be like, this is the weirdest FLR I've ever seen in my life.
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He comes home from work, takes a shower, cause he's usually dusty, dirty, gross, maybe feels sweaty, whatever.
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He comes home, he takes a shower and then he takes his clothes downstairs because I don't want him laying on the floor.
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And then he sits down with a computer in his lap and gets to work again.
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He starts working on editing, whether it's for the podcast, content for OF, other things, cause he's doing video editing for people, real estate videos, anything like that.
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He starts working on that while I cook supper and we sit at the couch to eat.
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We don't sit at a table cause that's how we roll.
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I bring a plate of food to him.
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I get him something to drink.
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He eats and I take his dishes and then I clean the kitchen.
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I choose to do that mainly because I might have a little bit of OCD and that's something I choose to control.
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But looking at it from the outside, people be like, why isn't he doing that?
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Why doesn't he clean or whatever?
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Because I choose to take that on.
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Our morning showers, we've talked about this on podcast before.
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He gets my towel.
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He gets my shampoo and conditioner because I don't leave it in the shower cause I have teenage girls that will use it all.
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Whatever.
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He brings the things I need for my shower up if I'm gonna shave that day.
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He'll bring my razor, my shaving cream, all the things.
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Most mornings I make him wash my hair.
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He gets my towel when we're done and he carries all the things back down and puts them back where they belong.
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My whole point to this story is you make it what you want it and don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks and don't question yourself.
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If it's working for both you and your partner, then it's right.
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That's the way it is.
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Now another topic that I had a conversation about was punishments and we've talked about this before too.
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It's very hard for me to think of punishments for my subbie.
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Generally, he doesn't misbehave but sometimes you have to get creative and I'm working on doing some more research on different punishments that will work just because I think it would be helpful.
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So stay tuned for that.
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I think the biggest thing when implementing any type of punishment is that your submissive understands that this is a punishment.
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They may enjoy it but they have to understand this is a punishment.
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It might be helpful to just establish, you know what I mean?
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Because maybe something you're using for a punishment is also used for a reward.
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Well, if you establish that this is happening because you did something you shouldn't have or I guess, I don't know.
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You really kind of have to make it your own.
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It's real tricky.
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Now there is an article that my subbie found.
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It's in German.
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I don't know.
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I will try to link it.
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I'm not going to read it word for word but the article is about controlling your submissive's erections.
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Like to the point of saying, get rid of it or lose the erection or just looking at it and making it go limp.
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Now this fascinates me because that's a fuck ton of power right there.
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And that's gotta be a hell of a mindset for the submissive.
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It takes training from what I read and the person that wrote the article was actually when she was training her subbie was giving him like a Viagra or I don't know, there's a red pill and I can't remember what it's called now that it's all natural.
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And she like trains him, teases him, gets him worked up and then makes him lose his erection.
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It's fascinating to me that you can have that much control.
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Like I've never tried that with my subbie.
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It takes a lot of confidence to in your ability and sometimes I don't have that if I'm being totally honest.
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I think a lot of the competence that you experience too from these types of relationships like I'm a hundred times more confident in myself and my abilities today than I was when we first started this.
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And I think I've gained a lot of confidence from different people that I've talked to at the campground or our best friends that used to be parked next to us here.
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But there are a lot of fantastic human beings at our lifestyle campground and I've really, in the years that we've been there, I have really gained a lot of confidence in my body image.
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I mean, it's not there a hundred percent but I'm working on it.
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But my comfort level in what I look like, my comfort level in the life I live, my comfort level talking to people about things that has changed dramatically through this podcast, through going to that campground, through conversing with like-minded people.
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It has really changed my life and I hope people listening to my podcast feel the same way.
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Like it's okay to be you.
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Don't let people make you feel like shit because you like something.
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Training your submissive to lose an erection on command.
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That's what it is about.
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She talks about training sessions, giving penalties for not accomplishing it when commanded.
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I will see if my subbie can link this but here is, because I wasn't going to read anything, but here is a little bit of the article.
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The issue is, I expect he can lose an erection at my command.
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I think that's a justified expectation.
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So the training session is given as a penalty and if there had been no violation, the training session would not take place.
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I sit on the front of my sofa and tie his wrists behind his back.
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I have to gag him because he suffers so much.
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I have my ruler next to me on the sofa and I start squeezing his flaccid little penis and tickling his balls.
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As soon as I start my speech and he sees the ruler, he starts whimpering and pleading into his gag.
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I tell him if he wants me to use my ruler with lots of hard blows, all he has to do is erect his penis.
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But if he gets an erection, it will give erection correction.
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Of course, he gets very tough with the Cialis I give him and the typical denial time that he has to endure.
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Then I start hitting him with the ruler, not just knocking, which is pointless, but real blows that provide panicked begging.
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His little tail is all pink and I get all wet.
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I use this punishment with the same state of mind as a beating and it lasts as long, 20 to 30 minutes.
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Now on that note, that would maybe be another good thing to add.
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This is more of a mental note for me, but you should have maybe a time limit on your punishments.
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It's almost like dealing with kids.
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They have to sit in time out for this amount of time.
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So when you start a punishment, make sure your submissive knows this punishment is going to last from 20 to 30 minutes or gosh, I would think anything over 20 to 30 minutes would be a bit excessive, but I guess, I mean, if that's your dynamic, more power to you.
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Then I tell him I'm getting angry and that he's definitely erect and now needs to soften or I'll hit harder.
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His penis is really red now.
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Sometimes I stop at this point for an orgasm.
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When I do and he's softened, I use my hands to erect him again when I'm ready to pound again.
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I tell him that this is perfectly fair as it is part of training to lose erections on command and I will train him to do so even if it takes years of erection correction sessions.
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I keep beating and telling him that I'm pissed off and demand that he loses erection at my command and if he hadn't committed this offense, he would not have endured the erection correction session.
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During this phase of the activity, I often go out and back with the Linux applicator.
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I don't mention the applicator, but I put it next to me on the sofa.
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He begins the most pathetic whimpering and pleading.
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I don't know, when I Googled it, it says powerful and long-lasting heat therapy, specially formulated ingredients, clear, will not stain clothing, easily applied with push-up stick applicator.
00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:11.559
I'm not real sure that's what they're referring to, but that's what I found.
00:20:12.859 --> 00:20:16.259
And it could be something, I mean, this was written by somebody in a different company.
00:20:16.359 --> 00:20:19.220
I believe it was in German.
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I had to translate it.
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So she puts it next to her on the sofa.
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He begins the most pathetic whimpering and pleading.
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Since he's so very sore and seeing the Linux brought into play, it's like his world has come to an end.
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I keep beating and telling him I'm pissed off and demand that he lose his erection at my command.
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And if he hadn't committed the offense, he would not have endured an erection correction session.
00:20:50.180 --> 00:20:55.359
At this stage of the activity, I often go to him with the Linux applicator.
00:20:55.980 --> 00:20:57.019
I don't, oh, okay.
00:20:57.079 --> 00:20:58.599
So then it just starts repeating itself.
00:20:59.319 --> 00:21:03.059
I don't, it must be in the translation because it just continues back.
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:05.759
It keeps saying the same thing over and over and over again.
00:21:07.099 --> 00:21:13.400
So this whole article kind of goes into, I mean, this would be a punishment.
00:21:13.779 --> 00:21:17.460
I don't, my subbie would probably love this.
00:21:18.839 --> 00:21:23.319
I don't know that I'm in a mental place to do that to him.
00:21:24.359 --> 00:21:26.799
I don't know if I have the right perspective of it.
00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:34.420
I don't have a problem like spanking, riding crap, any of those things.
00:21:35.019 --> 00:21:37.700
I wouldn't mind trying electro play.
00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:42.700
We haven't done that, but I don't know if I could beat his flaccid penis with a ruler.
00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:45.640
I'd really have to wrap my mind around that.
00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:54.359
Okay, so enough of that rambling.
00:21:55.579 --> 00:21:57.539
I'm a little bit rambly today.
00:21:57.720 --> 00:21:58.940
Shark week, yay.
00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:08.680
My whole point in all of this is you can take it to extremes if that's what works for your dynamic.
00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:25.420
Like if you want to have a power of attorney over everything, if you want to have complete control of all money, all property, all the things, and also do erection correction sessions with your submissive and your submissive is on board.
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:33.339
Beautiful, that I do think that you should make sure that you have a safe word in place.
00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:40.160
You just make your dynamic what works for you and start out slow.
00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:49.720
I say that all the time, but our female-led relationship has evolved tremendously from when we first started.
00:22:50.059 --> 00:22:54.599
Now, as I said earlier, it's kind of at a lull right now.
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:57.000
We're still practicing a female-led relationship.
00:22:57.180 --> 00:23:08.500
I'm still in control, but it's kind of on autopilot right now just as our life things are kind of taking over.
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:13.079
I mean, we have a winter to downsize our house significantly.
00:23:13.859 --> 00:23:17.400
We have the girls to get ready for college and they're going to graduate high school.
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:18.960
We have grad parties to plan.
00:23:20.140 --> 00:23:24.099
We have a lot of things that need to be done to the camper before we can move in.
00:23:24.099 --> 00:23:36.269
So ours kind of is on autopilot right now and life is kind of taking over the more kinky aspects of it.
00:23:36.549 --> 00:23:43.910
However, we do have a goal for ourselves this winter that at least one weekend a month, we are going to rent a hotel room.
00:23:44.150 --> 00:23:51.250
A weekend when my youngest is with his dad or we'll go to see our friends from camp who are no longer our neighbors.
00:23:51.410 --> 00:24:03.269
Tear again and spend some time with them just where we have some time where we can interact openly about our dynamic, things like that, or we'll go crazy.
00:24:04.569 --> 00:24:19.430
So also in your dynamic, if you have a house full of kids or whatever, make sure you take some time for yourselves to have a play date or whatever allows you to connect on that intimate level.
00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:22.009
It's so important.
00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:25.029
I think, what did I read somewhere?
00:24:26.369 --> 00:24:32.809
Something about the marriages that last the longest are the ones where they don't stop courting each other.
00:24:33.309 --> 00:24:40.890
Meaning continue to act like you just met and don't get stuck in the day-to-day routine.
00:24:41.569 --> 00:24:51.609
And I make it a point to tell my subbie regularly how much I appreciate him because that man works his fucking ass off for our family.
00:24:51.609 --> 00:24:55.490
And I genuinely appreciate that as does he.
00:24:55.630 --> 00:25:00.009
He tells me how much he appreciates the things that I do to take care of him.
00:25:00.289 --> 00:25:09.529
Or sometimes I will, if I know he's having a hard day at work, I will put on something like his favorite is ripped jeans and a tank top.
00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:11.509
He fucking loves when I wear that.
00:25:11.849 --> 00:25:15.390
And I've kind of gotten into this bad habit of sweatpants or leggings.
00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:21.170
Not that those are bad, but there's just something about ripped jeans with a black tank top.
00:25:22.170 --> 00:25:27.970
So sometimes I'll just specifically wear that, even if I'm not going anywhere, do my hair, put some makeup on.
00:25:29.029 --> 00:25:30.829
Sometimes I do that just to tease him.
00:25:31.710 --> 00:25:32.829
I can be mean too.
00:25:39.099 --> 00:25:41.019
We should probably get off the FLR topic.
00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:43.880
Let's talk because, you know, it's the third week in October.
00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:48.160
But these are tips that you can use to prepare for next October.
00:25:48.299 --> 00:25:55.000
If October is something that you wanna participate in, it is fantastic.
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:57.279
It's my favorite month, as I keep saying.
00:25:57.700 --> 00:26:04.880
But just some general tips, for example, well, okay, so what is Locktober?
00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:08.160
It's being locked in chastity for the 31 days of October.
00:26:08.940 --> 00:26:10.880
It's the kinky version of Lent.
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:14.859
So how do you get started and get prepared for Locktober?
00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:23.880
I would highly, highly, highly not recommend just throwing a cage on your dick the 1st of October and going the whole month.
00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:29.839
If you are not used to long-term chastity, you need to, one, prepare your body.
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:42.859
I would try locking it up maybe 48 hours just to see how it goes and do it during your work week where you're going to be going to work or doing your daily activities.
00:26:43.460 --> 00:26:51.019
See how that cage handles your daily movements, all the things.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:27:00.940
The first two to four days of being locked can be rough, and then your body kind of adjusts.
00:27:01.859 --> 00:27:09.579
One way that you could spice up Locktober is you could have four different cages, one for each week.
00:27:10.980 --> 00:27:22.599
An idea, too, that I like is start out with a decent-sized one, and by the last week of October, it's a quite tight, small cage.
00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:24.180
That would be fun.
00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:38.339
Find ways to make it your own, and if you do decide to participate in Locktober and you get halfway through and you just can't do it, there's pain, there's irritation, any of the things, take it off.
00:27:38.579 --> 00:27:47.200
It's not worth putting your man parts at risk or causing some sort of damage, whatever the case may be.
00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:51.259
You can totally do Locktober on an honor system, too.
00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:55.279
I mean, it takes a lot of trust, but it can be done.
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:57.059
It doesn't have to have a cage.
00:27:57.160 --> 00:28:02.619
It can just be that for the whole month, you cannot touch your penis, you cannot ejaculate.
00:28:03.319 --> 00:28:08.160
I mean, if that's the type of dynamic that you have and you are comfortable with that, that's beautiful.
00:28:08.339 --> 00:28:12.539
You can still participate without the chastity, without the actual cage.
00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:25.299
So just to recap the whole thing, you decide what your FLR is.
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:27.539
It can be very extreme.
00:28:27.980 --> 00:28:35.819
It can be controlling everything to you're in control, but you're submissive, control certain aspects of the relationship.
00:28:36.220 --> 00:28:38.059
Make it your own and don't feel guilty.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:41.279
Do your research, but only glean what pertains to you.
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:43.500
It's not going to be cookie cutter.
00:28:43.859 --> 00:28:44.660
This is how it is.
00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:45.599
This is what you do.
00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:48.960
I will work on the punishments episode.
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:52.579
I'm also going to work on an episode about cuckolding.
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:58.960
If anybody's interested in an episode about more about chastity, I think I've done a couple of those.
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:01.099
So let me know.
00:29:02.180 --> 00:29:08.319
And as far as October goes, make that your own too, but prepare for it.
00:29:08.380 --> 00:29:13.099
Like if you aren't doing it this October, get ready for next October.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:19.480
Or I mean, fuck, if you want to do it another month just to test it out, there's no rules.
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:21.079
You do what you want.
00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:25.480
As long as both people are on board and nobody's getting hurt, it's fair game.
00:29:28.619 --> 00:29:30.180
And now I have to go.
00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:33.980
I have to go clean out a camper and get it ready for Door County.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:38.000
I hope everyone has a fantastic week.
00:29:40.180 --> 00:29:42.079
Be decent human beings.
00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:46.319
Don't hesitate to reach out if you have questions about anything.
00:29:46.839 --> 00:29:48.819
I just ask that you be respectful.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:56.099
I'm happy to answer any questions, discuss anything about any of these dynamics, give you my opinion.
00:29:56.579 --> 00:30:01.539
You take my opinion for what it's worth and implement what works for you in your relationship.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.160
And I'm done rambling now.
00:30:06.059 --> 00:30:07.180
I love you all.
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:08.480
Chat soon.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.319
Nobody really does things right but me.
00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:10.039
This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.
00:00:10.419 --> 00:00:18.120
If you are not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.
00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:20.940
This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.
00:00:21.379 --> 00:00:24.280
We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists.
00:00:24.859 --> 00:00:30.679
We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.
00:00:43.079 --> 00:00:50.859
Welcome back, season two, episode three.
00:00:53.539 --> 00:00:58.719
This is going to be a combination of topics.
00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:11.980
We are going to talk a little bit about what is an FLR or what is an FLR to your dynamic as well as a little bit on Locktober.
00:01:13.060 --> 00:01:17.760
But before we get into that, let's address some housekeeping.
00:01:29.829 --> 00:01:35.530
The first, I don't know, it's been a busy, busy, busy week.
00:01:35.530 --> 00:01:39.090
We are all done at camp for the season.
00:01:39.390 --> 00:01:40.930
Makes me very sad.
00:01:41.530 --> 00:01:45.909
Our camper is all packed up and winterized.
00:01:46.310 --> 00:01:48.150
So we have one down, one to go.
00:01:48.469 --> 00:01:58.109
We are getting ready for Door County, Wisconsin to hopefully not be late to the party as usual and see some fall color.
00:01:59.109 --> 00:02:07.709
We are going to be leaving tomorrow morning early to take my husband and I and his daughter.
00:02:08.270 --> 00:02:14.650
It was supposed to be a last camping trip with our girls, but my daughter is going to California with her friend.
00:02:14.849 --> 00:02:17.889
So I really think that's it for housekeeping.
00:02:18.110 --> 00:02:19.669
I can't think of anything else.
00:02:20.729 --> 00:02:22.949
Why don't we just dive in?
00:02:28.810 --> 00:02:29.449
All right.
00:02:30.810 --> 00:02:34.050
So let's start with what is an FLR?
00:02:34.210 --> 00:02:38.689
If you're listening to this podcast, you probably already know, but it's a female-led relationship.
00:02:39.189 --> 00:02:41.849
The female is in control.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:48.219
Now, that being said, your dynamic is your dynamic.
00:02:48.599 --> 00:02:50.219
It's whatever works for you.
00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:59.819
So while you are in control of all things, you can also delegate because you are in control.
00:03:01.419 --> 00:03:09.960
There is no checklist or set in stone definition of a female-led relationship.
00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:12.639
It is whatever works for you and your partner.
00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:20.319
That is going to be different for every person in a female-led relationship because people are entirely different.
00:03:24.009 --> 00:03:30.229
There are many aspects to a female-led relationship that you can add or choose not to add.
00:03:30.689 --> 00:03:32.469
You can add cuckolding.
00:03:32.770 --> 00:03:39.129
You could add chastity, which is where October comes in, my favorite month.
00:03:39.830 --> 00:03:42.110
Or you can choose not to add either.
00:03:42.110 --> 00:03:44.250
And that is totally fine too.
00:03:45.129 --> 00:04:02.750
Anybody who maybe doesn't know what cuckolding is, cuckolding, because I always like to say holding, cuckolding, anyway, that is where it's kind of a one-sided open relationship.
00:04:03.090 --> 00:04:11.330
For example, in our relationship, I am allowed to play with other people and my subbie is not.
00:04:12.270 --> 00:04:24.449
Now, before anybody comes at me with that is bullshit or I'm a whore, whatever, and frankly, I don't give a fuck, but this is something that we sat down and discussed at length.
00:04:24.709 --> 00:04:30.769
And if I'm getting right down to it and being totally honest, it was 100% his idea.
00:04:31.689 --> 00:04:34.230
It is not for everyone and that's okay.
00:04:34.910 --> 00:04:39.110
You can be in an FLR relationship and not participate in cuckolding.
00:04:39.750 --> 00:04:42.829
It is entirely what works best for you.
00:04:44.470 --> 00:04:55.850
So in our relationship, we had a discussion at length and it's something that is important to him or that he has turned on by and he would like to be a part of our relationship.
00:04:56.930 --> 00:05:01.149
He is very involved anytime I choose to play with anyone.
00:05:01.949 --> 00:05:07.410
And as I've said before, I'm more comfortable if he's there.
00:05:07.939 --> 00:05:09.870
That may not always be the case.
00:05:10.129 --> 00:05:18.170
I may want alone time with whoever I'm playing with, but up to this point, that has not been something that I choose to do.
00:05:18.269 --> 00:05:20.370
I just feel safer with him there.
00:05:21.490 --> 00:05:31.350
I have some history with a bad sexual experience when I was very young and I think it still affects me to this day.
00:05:32.529 --> 00:05:34.189
So he's like my protector.
00:05:34.449 --> 00:05:36.610
I feel better when he's there.
00:05:37.050 --> 00:05:40.230
And that's kind of part of our dynamic too.
00:05:40.449 --> 00:05:51.050
He is in chastity and can't touch himself as he watches me with someone else doing things to me that he can't.
00:05:53.459 --> 00:05:57.879
All of that being said, thank you to COVID.
00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:04.740
We really have not, and just life in general, it really hasn't been a part of our dynamic lately.
00:06:07.949 --> 00:06:11.790
Safety is important if anybody is thinking about doing this.
00:06:12.129 --> 00:06:28.310
One person that I did play with prior to COVID, both of us went and had a full panel of STD tests done and everything like that, and had the sheet showing that we were both clean.
00:06:29.050 --> 00:06:30.689
That's a fantastic idea.
00:06:30.829 --> 00:06:33.410
There's clinics everywhere that will test you for real cheap.
00:06:34.129 --> 00:06:40.949
Obviously still use protection or, I mean, and that's on you if you choose to use protection or not.
00:06:41.029 --> 00:06:44.569
That's between you and who you're playing with or what your dynamic is with your relationship.
00:06:45.870 --> 00:06:49.370
I choose to be safe.
00:06:49.769 --> 00:06:56.670
But again, I haven't really done much recently just because of the state of affairs of the world.
00:06:57.269 --> 00:07:01.990
And I just choose to not right now.
00:07:01.990 --> 00:07:04.050
And life in general is real busy.
00:07:04.610 --> 00:07:08.930
Maybe now that camp's over, things will settle down enough or I don't know.
00:07:09.050 --> 00:07:10.009
We'll see what happens.
00:07:15.449 --> 00:07:22.410
Also adding chastity to your dynamic can be a fantastic addition.
00:07:23.209 --> 00:07:35.970
The benefits of chastity are the orgasm denial, the significant changes you will notice in your partner once they are locked up are pretty amazing.
00:07:36.689 --> 00:07:40.449
The first few days can be a little rough for both parties.
00:07:42.420 --> 00:07:43.879
It can be quite an adjustment.
00:07:44.100 --> 00:07:45.939
And like I've said before, start out slow.
00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:53.139
I mean, make sure that you don't jump into doing a whole month right from the get-go.
00:07:53.360 --> 00:07:57.100
And we'll get into that more when I talk a little bit about Locktober towards the end.
00:08:00.579 --> 00:08:05.779
You sure don't have to add cuckolding or chastity to your female-led relationship.
00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:19.000
You can simply just have a female-led relationship that is just you and your partner and you being in control, if you are the female, of the entire relationship.
00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:21.720
And what does that look like to be in control?
00:08:22.300 --> 00:08:26.740
There are many, many ways that you can look at that.
00:08:32.899 --> 00:08:54.639
I always say do your own research, but I was chatting with somebody last night and, you know, doing your own research is fantastic, but don't let yourself get discouraged because the people that are writing these articles probably have entirely different circumstances than you.
00:08:54.759 --> 00:09:04.519
You kind of have to glean the information that you find useful and that can be implemented in your own dynamic.
00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:10.379
But don't take it as this is what's set in stone because everybody has a different lifestyle.
00:09:10.559 --> 00:09:11.860
Everybody has different challenges.
00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:13.379
Everybody has different jobs.
00:09:14.179 --> 00:09:21.179
You have to glean the information that is useful to your relationship and implement it accordingly.
00:09:21.940 --> 00:09:30.279
There's nothing set in stone and there are female-led relationships that probably look very similar to just a standard vanilla relationship.
00:09:31.559 --> 00:09:47.559
And there are probably others that are hardcore, you know, like I talked about in episode 12 where the woman has a power of attorney and the man literally has no rights or access to any of their property, any of their belongings, any of their money, any of the things.
00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:51.259
You choose what works best for your relationship.
00:09:52.860 --> 00:10:05.700
Our relationship right now is a little bit less kinky or hardcore FLR than it has been in the past just because of things that are happening in our life.
00:10:05.779 --> 00:10:08.340
We are getting ready to transition to moving into our camper.
00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:11.299
We are working on getting our businesses going.
00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:13.519
My husband's work is slowing down.
00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:18.460
There are a lot of circumstances that are affecting how we live our life.
00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:25.820
While I am still in control, I do a lot of things for him to take care of him.
00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:30.120
Whether I'm in control or not, I fucking love that man.
00:10:30.259 --> 00:10:37.480
And I wanna make sure that I, just like he does for me, do whatever I can to make his life a little bit easier.
00:10:38.379 --> 00:10:39.779
And that's our dynamic.
00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:50.259
And I've said this before too, if somebody was to be observing our relationship from outside, they'd be like, this is the weirdest FLR I've ever seen in my life.
00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:58.679
He comes home from work, takes a shower, cause he's usually dusty, dirty, gross, maybe feels sweaty, whatever.
00:10:59.019 --> 00:11:06.460
He comes home, he takes a shower and then he takes his clothes downstairs because I don't want him laying on the floor.
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:11.980
And then he sits down with a computer in his lap and gets to work again.
00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:22.820
He starts working on editing, whether it's for the podcast, content for OF, other things, cause he's doing video editing for people, real estate videos, anything like that.
00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:28.019
He starts working on that while I cook supper and we sit at the couch to eat.
00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:30.039
We don't sit at a table cause that's how we roll.
00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:32.240
I bring a plate of food to him.
00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:33.519
I get him something to drink.
00:11:33.620 --> 00:11:35.940
He eats and I take his dishes and then I clean the kitchen.
00:11:36.460 --> 00:11:45.980
I choose to do that mainly because I might have a little bit of OCD and that's something I choose to control.
00:11:47.659 --> 00:11:51.080
But looking at it from the outside, people be like, why isn't he doing that?
00:11:51.139 --> 00:11:52.980
Why doesn't he clean or whatever?
00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:55.379
Because I choose to take that on.
00:11:55.659 --> 00:11:58.620
Our morning showers, we've talked about this on podcast before.
00:11:59.179 --> 00:12:00.179
He gets my towel.
00:12:00.519 --> 00:12:05.740
He gets my shampoo and conditioner because I don't leave it in the shower cause I have teenage girls that will use it all.
00:12:05.740 --> 00:12:06.519
Whatever.
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:10.580
He brings the things I need for my shower up if I'm gonna shave that day.
00:12:10.659 --> 00:12:13.559
He'll bring my razor, my shaving cream, all the things.
00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.639
Most mornings I make him wash my hair.
00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:21.679
He gets my towel when we're done and he carries all the things back down and puts them back where they belong.
00:12:23.379 --> 00:12:34.139
My whole point to this story is you make it what you want it and don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks and don't question yourself.
00:12:34.139 --> 00:12:37.820
If it's working for both you and your partner, then it's right.
00:12:38.580 --> 00:12:39.860
That's the way it is.
00:12:45.480 --> 00:12:52.940
Now another topic that I had a conversation about was punishments and we've talked about this before too.
00:12:53.019 --> 00:12:57.240
It's very hard for me to think of punishments for my subbie.
00:12:57.860 --> 00:13:10.019
Generally, he doesn't misbehave but sometimes you have to get creative and I'm working on doing some more research on different punishments that will work just because I think it would be helpful.
00:13:10.700 --> 00:13:12.080
So stay tuned for that.
00:13:13.419 --> 00:13:22.720
I think the biggest thing when implementing any type of punishment is that your submissive understands that this is a punishment.
00:13:24.019 --> 00:13:28.440
They may enjoy it but they have to understand this is a punishment.
00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:33.720
It might be helpful to just establish, you know what I mean?
00:13:33.720 --> 00:13:37.159
Because maybe something you're using for a punishment is also used for a reward.
00:13:37.720 --> 00:13:46.460
Well, if you establish that this is happening because you did something you shouldn't have or I guess, I don't know.
00:13:46.539 --> 00:13:48.259
You really kind of have to make it your own.
00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:49.340
It's real tricky.
00:13:55.460 --> 00:14:00.200
Now there is an article that my subbie found.
00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:02.279
It's in German.
00:14:03.139 --> 00:14:04.179
I don't know.
00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:06.620
I will try to link it.
00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:13.919
I'm not going to read it word for word but the article is about controlling your submissive's erections.
00:14:14.460 --> 00:14:24.299
Like to the point of saying, get rid of it or lose the erection or just looking at it and making it go limp.
00:14:24.539 --> 00:14:28.679
Now this fascinates me because that's a fuck ton of power right there.
00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:32.720
And that's gotta be a hell of a mindset for the submissive.
00:14:33.419 --> 00:14:50.899
It takes training from what I read and the person that wrote the article was actually when she was training her subbie was giving him like a Viagra or I don't know, there's a red pill and I can't remember what it's called now that it's all natural.
00:14:53.360 --> 00:15:01.960
And she like trains him, teases him, gets him worked up and then makes him lose his erection.
00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:07.080
It's fascinating to me that you can have that much control.
00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:11.899
Like I've never tried that with my subbie.
00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:20.480
It takes a lot of confidence to in your ability and sometimes I don't have that if I'm being totally honest.
00:15:21.720 --> 00:15:34.539
I think a lot of the competence that you experience too from these types of relationships like I'm a hundred times more confident in myself and my abilities today than I was when we first started this.
00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:45.779
And I think I've gained a lot of confidence from different people that I've talked to at the campground or our best friends that used to be parked next to us here.
00:15:48.139 --> 00:16:01.620
But there are a lot of fantastic human beings at our lifestyle campground and I've really, in the years that we've been there, I have really gained a lot of confidence in my body image.
00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:04.960
I mean, it's not there a hundred percent but I'm working on it.
00:16:05.460 --> 00:16:22.159
But my comfort level in what I look like, my comfort level in the life I live, my comfort level talking to people about things that has changed dramatically through this podcast, through going to that campground, through conversing with like-minded people.
00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:29.080
It has really changed my life and I hope people listening to my podcast feel the same way.
00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:31.840
Like it's okay to be you.
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:36.399
Don't let people make you feel like shit because you like something.
00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:47.639
Training your submissive to lose an erection on command.
00:16:48.700 --> 00:16:50.379
That's what it is about.
00:16:51.379 --> 00:16:58.700
She talks about training sessions, giving penalties for not accomplishing it when commanded.
00:17:00.100 --> 00:17:09.098
I will see if my subbie can link this but here is, because I wasn't going to read anything, but here is a little bit of the article.
00:17:09.700 --> 00:17:12.720
The issue is, I expect he can lose an erection at my command.
00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:15.098
I think that's a justified expectation.
00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:22.259
So the training session is given as a penalty and if there had been no violation, the training session would not take place.
00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:27.098
I sit on the front of my sofa and tie his wrists behind his back.
00:17:27.259 --> 00:17:29.480
I have to gag him because he suffers so much.
00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:35.859
I have my ruler next to me on the sofa and I start squeezing his flaccid little penis and tickling his balls.
00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:41.420
As soon as I start my speech and he sees the ruler, he starts whimpering and pleading into his gag.
00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:47.619
I tell him if he wants me to use my ruler with lots of hard blows, all he has to do is erect his penis.
00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:54.059
But if he gets an erection, it will give erection correction.
00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:01.380
Of course, he gets very tough with the Cialis I give him and the typical denial time that he has to endure.
00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:10.380
Then I start hitting him with the ruler, not just knocking, which is pointless, but real blows that provide panicked begging.
00:18:10.859 --> 00:18:14.299
His little tail is all pink and I get all wet.
00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:21.440
I use this punishment with the same state of mind as a beating and it lasts as long, 20 to 30 minutes.
00:18:22.039 --> 00:18:27.319
Now on that note, that would maybe be another good thing to add.
00:18:27.539 --> 00:18:32.900
This is more of a mental note for me, but you should have maybe a time limit on your punishments.
00:18:33.740 --> 00:18:35.680
It's almost like dealing with kids.
00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:38.099
They have to sit in time out for this amount of time.
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:53.539
So when you start a punishment, make sure your submissive knows this punishment is going to last from 20 to 30 minutes or gosh, I would think anything over 20 to 30 minutes would be a bit excessive, but I guess, I mean, if that's your dynamic, more power to you.
00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:04.700
Then I tell him I'm getting angry and that he's definitely erect and now needs to soften or I'll hit harder.
00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:06.440
His penis is really red now.
00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:09.420
Sometimes I stop at this point for an orgasm.
00:19:09.740 --> 00:19:15.000
When I do and he's softened, I use my hands to erect him again when I'm ready to pound again.
00:19:15.579 --> 00:19:26.779
I tell him that this is perfectly fair as it is part of training to lose erections on command and I will train him to do so even if it takes years of erection correction sessions.
00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:37.599
I keep beating and telling him that I'm pissed off and demand that he loses erection at my command and if he hadn't committed this offense, he would not have endured the erection correction session.
00:19:38.299 --> 00:19:43.759
During this phase of the activity, I often go out and back with the Linux applicator.
00:19:44.539 --> 00:19:51.140
I don't mention the applicator, but I put it next to me on the sofa.
00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:53.579
He begins the most pathetic whimpering and pleading.
00:19:54.660 --> 00:20:06.519
I don't know, when I Googled it, it says powerful and long-lasting heat therapy, specially formulated ingredients, clear, will not stain clothing, easily applied with push-up stick applicator.
00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:11.559
I'm not real sure that's what they're referring to, but that's what I found.
00:20:12.859 --> 00:20:16.259
And it could be something, I mean, this was written by somebody in a different company.
00:20:16.359 --> 00:20:19.220
I believe it was in German.
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:21.259
I had to translate it.
00:20:23.420 --> 00:20:25.500
So she puts it next to her on the sofa.
00:20:25.640 --> 00:20:27.859
He begins the most pathetic whimpering and pleading.
00:20:28.140 --> 00:20:35.480
Since he's so very sore and seeing the Linux brought into play, it's like his world has come to an end.
00:20:35.960 --> 00:20:41.319
I keep beating and telling him I'm pissed off and demand that he lose his erection at my command.
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:49.720
And if he hadn't committed the offense, he would not have endured an erection correction session.
00:20:50.180 --> 00:20:55.359
At this stage of the activity, I often go to him with the Linux applicator.
00:20:55.980 --> 00:20:57.019
I don't, oh, okay.
00:20:57.079 --> 00:20:58.599
So then it just starts repeating itself.
00:20:59.319 --> 00:21:03.059
I don't, it must be in the translation because it just continues back.
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:05.759
It keeps saying the same thing over and over and over again.
00:21:07.099 --> 00:21:13.400
So this whole article kind of goes into, I mean, this would be a punishment.
00:21:13.779 --> 00:21:17.460
I don't, my subbie would probably love this.
00:21:18.839 --> 00:21:23.319
I don't know that I'm in a mental place to do that to him.
00:21:24.359 --> 00:21:26.799
I don't know if I have the right perspective of it.
00:21:27.779 --> 00:21:34.420
I don't have a problem like spanking, riding crap, any of those things.
00:21:35.019 --> 00:21:37.700
I wouldn't mind trying electro play.
00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:42.700
We haven't done that, but I don't know if I could beat his flaccid penis with a ruler.
00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:45.640
I'd really have to wrap my mind around that.
00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:54.359
Okay, so enough of that rambling.
00:21:55.579 --> 00:21:57.539
I'm a little bit rambly today.
00:21:57.720 --> 00:21:58.940
Shark week, yay.
00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:08.680
My whole point in all of this is you can take it to extremes if that's what works for your dynamic.
00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:25.420
Like if you want to have a power of attorney over everything, if you want to have complete control of all money, all property, all the things, and also do erection correction sessions with your submissive and your submissive is on board.
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:33.339
Beautiful, that I do think that you should make sure that you have a safe word in place.
00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:40.160
You just make your dynamic what works for you and start out slow.
00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:49.720
I say that all the time, but our female-led relationship has evolved tremendously from when we first started.
00:22:50.059 --> 00:22:54.599
Now, as I said earlier, it's kind of at a lull right now.
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:57.000
We're still practicing a female-led relationship.
00:22:57.180 --> 00:23:08.500
I'm still in control, but it's kind of on autopilot right now just as our life things are kind of taking over.
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:13.079
I mean, we have a winter to downsize our house significantly.
00:23:13.859 --> 00:23:17.400
We have the girls to get ready for college and they're going to graduate high school.
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:18.960
We have grad parties to plan.
00:23:20.140 --> 00:23:24.099
We have a lot of things that need to be done to the camper before we can move in.
00:23:24.099 --> 00:23:36.269
So ours kind of is on autopilot right now and life is kind of taking over the more kinky aspects of it.
00:23:36.549 --> 00:23:43.910
However, we do have a goal for ourselves this winter that at least one weekend a month, we are going to rent a hotel room.
00:23:44.150 --> 00:23:51.250
A weekend when my youngest is with his dad or we'll go to see our friends from camp who are no longer our neighbors.
00:23:51.410 --> 00:24:03.269
Tear again and spend some time with them just where we have some time where we can interact openly about our dynamic, things like that, or we'll go crazy.
00:24:04.569 --> 00:24:19.430
So also in your dynamic, if you have a house full of kids or whatever, make sure you take some time for yourselves to have a play date or whatever allows you to connect on that intimate level.
00:24:20.630 --> 00:24:22.009
It's so important.
00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:25.029
I think, what did I read somewhere?
00:24:26.369 --> 00:24:32.809
Something about the marriages that last the longest are the ones where they don't stop courting each other.
00:24:33.309 --> 00:24:40.890
Meaning continue to act like you just met and don't get stuck in the day-to-day routine.
00:24:41.569 --> 00:24:51.609
And I make it a point to tell my subbie regularly how much I appreciate him because that man works his fucking ass off for our family.
00:24:51.609 --> 00:24:55.490
And I genuinely appreciate that as does he.
00:24:55.630 --> 00:25:00.009
He tells me how much he appreciates the things that I do to take care of him.
00:25:00.289 --> 00:25:09.529
Or sometimes I will, if I know he's having a hard day at work, I will put on something like his favorite is ripped jeans and a tank top.
00:25:09.950 --> 00:25:11.509
He fucking loves when I wear that.
00:25:11.849 --> 00:25:15.390
And I've kind of gotten into this bad habit of sweatpants or leggings.
00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:21.170
Not that those are bad, but there's just something about ripped jeans with a black tank top.
00:25:22.170 --> 00:25:27.970
So sometimes I'll just specifically wear that, even if I'm not going anywhere, do my hair, put some makeup on.
00:25:29.029 --> 00:25:30.829
Sometimes I do that just to tease him.
00:25:31.710 --> 00:25:32.829
I can be mean too.
00:25:39.099 --> 00:25:41.019
We should probably get off the FLR topic.
00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:43.880
Let's talk because, you know, it's the third week in October.
00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:48.160
But these are tips that you can use to prepare for next October.
00:25:48.299 --> 00:25:55.000
If October is something that you wanna participate in, it is fantastic.
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:57.279
It's my favorite month, as I keep saying.
00:25:57.700 --> 00:26:04.880
But just some general tips, for example, well, okay, so what is Locktober?
00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:08.160
It's being locked in chastity for the 31 days of October.
00:26:08.940 --> 00:26:10.880
It's the kinky version of Lent.
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:14.859
So how do you get started and get prepared for Locktober?
00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:23.880
I would highly, highly, highly not recommend just throwing a cage on your dick the 1st of October and going the whole month.
00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:29.839
If you are not used to long-term chastity, you need to, one, prepare your body.
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:42.859
I would try locking it up maybe 48 hours just to see how it goes and do it during your work week where you're going to be going to work or doing your daily activities.
00:26:43.460 --> 00:26:51.019
See how that cage handles your daily movements, all the things.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:27:00.940
The first two to four days of being locked can be rough, and then your body kind of adjusts.
00:27:01.859 --> 00:27:09.579
One way that you could spice up Locktober is you could have four different cages, one for each week.
00:27:10.980 --> 00:27:22.599
An idea, too, that I like is start out with a decent-sized one, and by the last week of October, it's a quite tight, small cage.
00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:24.180
That would be fun.
00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:38.339
Find ways to make it your own, and if you do decide to participate in Locktober and you get halfway through and you just can't do it, there's pain, there's irritation, any of the things, take it off.
00:27:38.579 --> 00:27:47.200
It's not worth putting your man parts at risk or causing some sort of damage, whatever the case may be.
00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:51.259
You can totally do Locktober on an honor system, too.
00:27:51.900 --> 00:27:55.279
I mean, it takes a lot of trust, but it can be done.
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:57.059
It doesn't have to have a cage.
00:27:57.160 --> 00:28:02.619
It can just be that for the whole month, you cannot touch your penis, you cannot ejaculate.
00:28:03.319 --> 00:28:08.160
I mean, if that's the type of dynamic that you have and you are comfortable with that, that's beautiful.
00:28:08.339 --> 00:28:12.539
You can still participate without the chastity, without the actual cage.
00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:25.299
So just to recap the whole thing, you decide what your FLR is.
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:27.539
It can be very extreme.
00:28:27.980 --> 00:28:35.819
It can be controlling everything to you're in control, but you're submissive, control certain aspects of the relationship.
00:28:36.220 --> 00:28:38.059
Make it your own and don't feel guilty.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:41.279
Do your research, but only glean what pertains to you.
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:43.500
It's not going to be cookie cutter.
00:28:43.859 --> 00:28:44.660
This is how it is.
00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:45.599
This is what you do.
00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:48.960
I will work on the punishments episode.
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:52.579
I'm also going to work on an episode about cuckolding.
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:58.960
If anybody's interested in an episode about more about chastity, I think I've done a couple of those.
00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:01.099
So let me know.
00:29:02.180 --> 00:29:08.319
And as far as October goes, make that your own too, but prepare for it.
00:29:08.380 --> 00:29:13.099
Like if you aren't doing it this October, get ready for next October.
00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:19.480
Or I mean, fuck, if you want to do it another month just to test it out, there's no rules.
00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:21.079
You do what you want.
00:29:21.240 --> 00:29:25.480
As long as both people are on board and nobody's getting hurt, it's fair game.
00:29:28.619 --> 00:29:30.180
And now I have to go.
00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:33.980
I have to go clean out a camper and get it ready for Door County.
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:38.000
I hope everyone has a fantastic week.
00:29:40.180 --> 00:29:42.079
Be decent human beings.
00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:46.319
Don't hesitate to reach out if you have questions about anything.
00:29:46.839 --> 00:29:48.819
I just ask that you be respectful.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:56.099
I'm happy to answer any questions, discuss anything about any of these dynamics, give you my opinion.
00:29:56.579 --> 00:30:01.539
You take my opinion for what it's worth and implement what works for you in your relationship.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:05.160
And I'm done rambling now.
00:30:06.059 --> 00:30:07.180
I love you all.
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:08.480
Chat soon.
