0143 Female Led Relationships: What Is Subspace? A Real FLR Couple Talks Through It

WEBVTT

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I'm going to be totally transparent here.

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.

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This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.

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We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists.

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We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.

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Welcome back.

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Episode, let's do it right this time.

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43. Yes, it is 43.

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OK, 43 it is.

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This week, we are on location.

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We are. From my favorite place in the world.

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My happy place.

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Yep. And my subbie's here.

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Hi. That's exciting.

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It's very exciting.

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I love when you're here.

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It's a rare but fun occurrence.

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I like it.

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This week, since my subbie is here, we're going to talk about subspace, what the definition is and how.

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Well, we'll give you the Google definition and then we'll give you our definition or how it pertains to us or how we live, because we may not have the same perspective of the sum of the.

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We may not have the same perspective of the subspace as you might.

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And as usual, we may take the sex out of it and just talk about subspace in general.

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But first.

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Housekeeping, housekeeping.

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One. Uno.

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What's the first one?

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We're doing the road to zero. Yeah.

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So as many of you know, or maybe don't, we are going full time in our camper.

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In 347 days.

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Again, who's counting?

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This girl. That's right. Me.

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We are posting a video every day on our.

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Regular TikTok.

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Vanilla TikTok. Vanilla.

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And we were going to try and keep this separate, but listen.

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There's my word.

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It just is what it is.

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It is what it is.

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And I'm not ashamed of what I do.

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I love what I do.

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And this podcast is important to me and I don't find anything wrong with it.

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So it's just part of who we are.

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So if you want to follow us, I don't know if we've mentioned this in other episodes of our podcast or not, or of this podcast or not, but we also have a TikTok called Encompassed Life, and that will be our TikTok, YouTube, all of that.

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That will be documenting our journey when we go full time.

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And again, we are going full time in a 1986 camper, so it is not going to be anything glorious.

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I suspect there will be many problems and I'm so fucking excited.

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I can hardly wait.

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It's not like this palatial mansion.

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Yeah, this is a big fucking camper compared to what we're used to.

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You could fit our other camper inside of this camper.

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You could. This one also needs some work.

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And it was a fixer upper when we bought it.

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But I love it.

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It's turning out pretty good.

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Yep, it's going to be good.

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So, yes, Encompassed Life on pretty much everything.

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Yes. YouTube, Insta, TikTok, Gmail.

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I think that pretty much covers it.

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Yeah, I think that's everything.

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We'll put links in the show notes.

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I'll put links in the show notes.

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Because I don't do that.

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That's why I have him.

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She has great show notes, but she's never read them.

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That's not true.

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She has. I'm just kidding.

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And if you can't see right now, I'm making the little emoji face where the teeth are showing like, yeah.

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It's OK.

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Speaking of TikTok.

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Moving on. Yes.

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Number what is it? Two. Two.

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I'm real frustrated with TikTok.

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Everything is getting taken down, even if it is not.

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I mean, listen, I understand I put out adult content.

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I'm fully aware, but they're getting real picky about anything that I say.

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Yeah. So I am going to produce minimal content, probably on my TikTok anymore.

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It's like it's neutered.

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It is. Or vanillaized.

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And there's nothing wrong with that.

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It's just not the content.

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I mean, we'll put vanilla content out on Uncompassed.

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Christine Kellogg was specifically for this type of content.

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It was to help get the word out about my podcast and help people that might feel a little lost entering in the lifestyle or just get information.

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Well, TikTok doesn't want to help me. Right.

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So we have moved to Clapper.

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It's called Clapper.

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Which is basically TikTok, but you can pretty much post anything.

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It kind of looks like it so far. Yeah.

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We haven't gotten anything taken down there, but it looks just like TikTok and acts just like TikTok.

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We actually were tipped off by I think it's called Why Not.

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Yes, it's called Why Not.

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They're on the adult side of things as far as like promotions and marketing and that kind of thing.

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And then we get the newsletter and there was a little story on this little app called Clapper.

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And it says it's adult content friendly.

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So we jumped over there and by gosh, it is because there are some there's some stuff on the Clapper.

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Yeah. So I'll link that too, I think.

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I think I can link that.

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Put that in the show notes to check us out over there.

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It's going to be basically the same stuff that goes on on TikTok.

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Only it's not censored. Only unedited.

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So it's like a.

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I don't know.

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Behind the scenes, I don't know what you call it.

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Yeah. Premium content. Yeah.

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Not really, but kind of. Right.

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I'm able to say what I want to say.

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I can talk about pegging and I don't have to call it shmegging or duck holding or whatever the case may be.

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Right. It's the unfiltered content.

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Yes. That's what it is. Yes.

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That's what I want to say. I like it.

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OK. And so we got two birds with one stone on that one.

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Yeah, we did.

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What else is there?

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Is there any other housekeeping issues?

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I got to experience.

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I mean, it's Sunday now and about four o'clock.

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So we fell behind our schedule a little bit.

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Yeah. Friday.

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And initially we planned on recording this on Friday because it's easier to record in our camper when we don't have children's correct.

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However, I was having some issues with some blinky lights in my eyes, which apparently signifies that a migraine is coming.

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And on top of that, it's shark week.

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So needless to say, this weekend, I have spent a lot of time in my camper and a lot of noise and bright lights, and it's been hot as shit.

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So I haven't really felt the greatest.

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No, it has been on the warm side, too.

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It hasn't made things any easier for you.

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So. So my Patreon peeps, I apologize that you didn't get an early sneak peek.

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I had to massage through the headache issues and there was a wedding this weekend.

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And it was right at the campground.

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Yeah, it was real pretty.

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I got to play backup photographer, photographer, helper guy.

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That was fun.

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So that's a little bit about our weekend and kind of why the podcast isn't available early for my Patreon people.

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I'm real sorry.

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I don't I've never had a migraine before, I don't think.

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And not that I fully experienced one this time.

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But boy, the lights in my eyes were real weird.

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So let's see.

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Is that it for housekeeping?

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Probably. Yeah, I should probably have a hit from the old vapor.

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Yeah. Cheers.

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All right.

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Let's dive in to subspace.

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Now, I'm going to be totally transparent here.

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A big part of the reason that I wanted to do this episode specifically is because I am not very knowledgeable on what the actual definition of subspace is.

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I know generalized information about it or what you read.

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Which is also why I brought my subbie in, because I would love his input on it.

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But I know that in a relationship like this, especially when it comes to sexual play, making sure that you know what you're doing when your sub enters into subspace or is in subspace or after play occurs, making sure you're nurturing and taking care of them and and or, you know, him, her, whatever the case may be, right, is really important.

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And I don't have a whole lot of information on that.

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So here we are.

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And I assume I'm not the only one.

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So this may be helpful to someone else is my hope.

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So like I was saying earlier, we're just going to touch on this.

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And kind of talk about.

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How like our perspective or our slant on the subspace topic, I have a little like a tiny amount of experience in that place, but we've we not really done too much of that yet.

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Listen, guess who was introduced to the flogger last weekend?

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It was so fun.

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I mean, OK, so I've used a flogger before on him.

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Yeah, but not like this.

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Yeah, it was pretty fun.

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Yeah. She cranked the level up a little bit.

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I did. And got to a little bit of a taste of it.

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And the riding crap. Yeah.

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And as I suspected, she warmed right up to it really nicely.

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I really like it a lot.

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Not that I was pushing nor convincing or talked you into or anything like that.

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No, absolutely not.

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We've had talks about this for many years.

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So the struggle that we have, again, is the riding crop, the flogger.

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All of these things make noise.

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And it's real hard for us to find time.

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And especially this season at camp, I have done more massage.

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I mean, even this weekend with my headache, I did three or four, plus some chair massage. So.

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Even when we're here and it's supposed to be our time off, per se, we're still working.

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And yeah, for the most part, to a certain extent. So.

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We don't necessarily I mean, it's still kind of like 10, 11 o'clock comes around at night and we're real tired.

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We're like old people. Kind of. Yeah.

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We just stumbled into the right opportunity last weekend.

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And doing a photo shoot that.

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Yes. Fucking fantastic.

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Super excited about that one.

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Oh, it was actually the weekend before.

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But yes. Yes. Because we weren't here last weekend.

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Oh, that's true.

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Friday, we came up and recorded that video and.

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We played a little bit.

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And I will say, I mean, there's a little bit of a bridge into deeper things.

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I will say last week.

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I I may have I may have experienced a little bit of subspace, a little bit of.

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Because you and the photographer.

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Beats the hell out of me for a little bit.

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Yes. Yeah. So it was fantastic. Yeah.

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But we weren't really like in a moment or a scene.

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So I suspect it's a little bit harder for you to actually.

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I mean, yes.

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You were you two were.

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It was just kind of a let's take this for a test run kind of thing.

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I think that's more what it was.

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A little test drive. Yeah, it was fun. I liked it.

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I could absolutely have the photographer join in on another one because it was.

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Yeah. Yep. And anyways, getting back to that, I think in the moments post to that, I was quiet and reserved a little bit and.

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Maybe a little reflective on.

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The moment, I guess, but you did give me a little aftercare, a nice rubbing and stuff, and that was super nice.

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Here's the thing with me.

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And this is a learning process for me.

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When we do things like that.

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I really don't live in that moment long in general, even like after we have sex or on rare occasions or whatever.

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I tend to I'm up and ready to do the next thing or, you know, I'm ready for bed or whatever.

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I'm not I have to be more.

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Like in the moment.

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Yeah, I need to be more conscious and more intentional.

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That's the word I'm looking for with kind of enjoying that.

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I mean, really focusing on how my body feels after things like that happen.

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And when we were doing the photo shoot, it was more of a yeah, we were in the moment for a second, like really there.

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And it was like a thing. And then.

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I don't know, like I just kind of, OK, well, now we need to move on to the next thing.

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You know, what's the next thing we need to keep going?

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Oh, right. Because we're going from location to location.

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And we're moving all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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So it was a way different scenario for what that would be at another time. Yeah.

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I would like to do that where we maybe are.

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I mean, photos could be taken, but I would rather it not be because we were taking photos that we were doing it where I was actually doing it.

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Yeah. And.

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I'm also very interested in learning more about the process, I mean, and maybe we'll do an episode on that on like scene scene play.

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Kind of. Yeah, yeah.

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That would be kind of interesting.

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Just making your way into that that environment and that frame of mind.

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And then during.

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Yeah. The scene or the.

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I guess I'm not sure what you call.

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I think it's almost like time, the time that you do it.

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And then I think it's almost like massage.

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There's a whole process to it.

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You know, I start out this way and then work into this.

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And then, you know, you have this whole kind of procedure, like it doesn't need to be all planned out, but just kind of you start out light, you get harder and then you lighten up a little bit and then there's, you know.

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For sure. So, I mean, is that as a parallel or.

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It's a word I'm trying to think of.

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Comparison. A comparison, a parallel, whatever.

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Yeah. You don't necessarily.

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At least we don't.

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Again, your results may vary, I guess, or your methods may vary.

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But I can't imagine the right thing or the the normal thing or whatever word I want to use there.

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I can't imagine that the person, the sub walks up to the X, the cross.

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Whatever the terminology is.

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Help me out on what that's called.

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I can't imagine the sub walks up to that, spreads out, and the dom just starts hauling off.

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I can't imagine that being a healthy way to move into that space.

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Again, kind of like massage.

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You don't go in blaring hot on a muscle.

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Right. You got to start out, get the blood flowing to the surface.

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I think that would intensify the feeling.

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Right. Exactly.

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And it allows time to just kind of get into that place, you know.

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Again, it's not like you're going through the McDonald's drive through and then walking up to the cross and getting the shit beat out of you.

00:16:52.059 --> 00:16:54.600
Yeah. You know, there's work your way.

00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:59.440
And there's somewhere in between where that you're allowed to get into that space.

00:16:59.879 --> 00:17:03.960
So again, we've kind of gotten off topic, but sort of.

00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:08.700
Yeah, we're talking a little bit of general things, I guess.

00:17:08.858 --> 00:17:20.368
Yeah. OK, so we actually Googled.

00:17:21.568 --> 00:17:24.230
Just to give you kind of a idea.

00:17:24.230 --> 00:17:29.829
OK. Or, you know, like the Google definition and then how we would define it for us, I would say. Right.

00:17:30.230 --> 00:17:34.890
So we just did how how do you fall into a subspace?

00:17:35.490 --> 00:17:42.670
Right. And Google says how far down a submissive goes into subspace is dependent upon a variety of factors.

00:17:43.049 --> 00:17:50.450
The skill of the dominant in understanding the submissive's needs, the dominance ability to constructively.

00:17:50.509 --> 00:17:51.730
I don't have my glasses on. Sorry.

00:17:51.730 --> 00:17:56.750
Construct constructively, manipulate and feed such needs and desires.

00:17:57.049 --> 00:18:01.269
And how well the submissive trusts and relates to the dominant and so on.

00:18:02.130 --> 00:18:04.130
That pretty much locks it up for me.

00:18:04.210 --> 00:18:06.970
Yeah. Yeah. I'm I can't really argue with that.

00:18:07.109 --> 00:18:09.650
No, that actually comes from a blog.

00:18:09.710 --> 00:18:12.849
It looks like finding space part one subspace.

00:18:14.109 --> 00:18:16.470
What is it? I don't know how to pronounce.

00:18:16.609 --> 00:18:17.690
Let us zoom in.

00:18:18.349 --> 00:18:19.490
We're both blind, honey.

00:18:20.930 --> 00:18:23.809
Modemworld.me is where we got that from.

00:18:24.329 --> 00:18:25.970
Yeah. And literally just Google that.

00:18:26.069 --> 00:18:27.349
And it's the first thing that comes up.

00:18:28.130 --> 00:18:33.890
Yeah, it's hard to really argue with that because that the way that's put it makes a ton of sense. It's really.

00:18:35.769 --> 00:18:38.869
It's it's really kind of it's really a give and take thing.

00:18:38.950 --> 00:18:55.269
It's really. It it really does depend on how well that that I would say how good the connection is, you know, because, you know, me and I know you really well.

00:18:56.089 --> 00:19:01.690
Yes. And not just like bedroom stuff like across the board, pretty much.

00:19:03.569 --> 00:19:10.190
So, you know, the things that I need, the things that I like, things that I don't like and same with you.

00:19:10.450 --> 00:19:18.220
So like neither one of us are going to put each other into a situation that we know the other isn't comfortable with. Right.

00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:22.680
Like that is a blanket statement, you know. Agreed. So.

00:19:23.740 --> 00:19:32.980
I think, too, that that ties in with chastity, because I think when you're wearing the cage, you know, I always talk about how much more attentive you are to me.

00:19:33.180 --> 00:19:40.279
Yes. I feel like when you have the cage on, you are in a stage of subspace, a continual stage. Some sort of level of it.

00:19:40.359 --> 00:19:42.680
For sure. Not not full on.

00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:50.680
No, but it's it's well, OK, again, for me, your situation may vary or whatever.

00:19:51.019 --> 00:19:57.180
But for me, it's almost a subconscious mind shift.

00:19:57.980 --> 00:20:05.460
You know, I don't necessarily put the cage on and instantly, you know, I'm right there. Right.

00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:11.039
Meek and mild and, you know, groveling servant type.

00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:12.259
He's like that normally.

00:20:13.180 --> 00:20:14.859
Maybe not groveling. Sometimes.

00:20:14.859 --> 00:20:16.460
He does take very good care of me.

00:20:16.759 --> 00:20:23.960
But there's certainly a level of like I usually think of you ahead of me.

00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:27.259
Most in general, cage or no cage. Right. Right.

00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:34.680
But then there's, you know, the the the one level up from that or the two or three levels up from that that I get into.

00:20:34.900 --> 00:20:37.920
And like I said, it's subconscious or sometimes it is conscious.

00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:41.299
Sometimes I'm very aware of it.

00:20:41.420 --> 00:20:44.119
Sometimes it's something where.

00:20:45.720 --> 00:20:55.039
Like I almost long for it, you know, or once I get there, I feel like this is, you know, really where I enjoy being.

00:20:55.660 --> 00:21:00.240
You know, this is really like I get to be here for you.

00:21:00.779 --> 00:21:05.279
You know, well, first of all, I get to be here where I wanted to be most of my life. Right.

00:21:05.900 --> 00:21:13.940
But now I get to be here for you. Right. So I mean, I don't know that it gets any better than that, to be honest.

00:21:14.380 --> 00:21:16.119
I like hearing that. Good.

00:21:16.680 --> 00:21:18.500
Oh, good.

00:21:19.579 --> 00:21:23.339
Yes, I think I think the cage goes hand in hand with a certain.

00:21:24.259 --> 00:21:27.240
You know, I mean, I think there's many levels to subspace.

00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:39.720
I don't think it's just a I think after play or after a session of some sort that you're in a very high level of subspace.

00:21:40.420 --> 00:21:42.059
This is just my interpretation.

00:21:42.059 --> 00:21:45.000
Right. And I listen, there's no right or wrong.

00:21:45.099 --> 00:21:46.500
This is just how I view it.

00:21:46.539 --> 00:21:48.440
And everybody has their own view of it.

00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:51.779
And there is a formal definition, I'm sure, on the Internet.

00:21:51.940 --> 00:21:53.140
But I'm sure they all vary.

00:21:59.410 --> 00:22:00.569
It's getting hot in here.

00:22:00.650 --> 00:22:03.089
It is getting warm in the camper because we have the air off.

00:22:04.890 --> 00:22:06.029
Actually, it's not that bad.

00:22:08.150 --> 00:22:14.250
Again, about the whole subspace thing, you know, there's things that you can read from Google.

00:22:14.390 --> 00:22:16.769
There's tons of blogs on this topic.

00:22:16.769 --> 00:22:19.230
Please, if you want to go deeper.

00:22:20.049 --> 00:22:21.269
Go down that route.

00:22:21.829 --> 00:22:26.849
I assume we'll be talking about this again once we learn a little bit more, once we experience a little bit more.

00:22:27.230 --> 00:22:32.210
I would love feedback, too, from anybody who has good literature that I can check out.

00:22:32.369 --> 00:22:33.789
Did I say that right? Literature.

00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:35.009
Literature. Literature.

00:22:35.690 --> 00:22:38.089
OK, now that I've properly pronounced it.

00:22:38.849 --> 00:22:45.670
Anybody that has any anything that they've read that they thought, you know, hey, this is fantastic, really resonates with me, whatever.

00:22:45.670 --> 00:22:51.269
I would love some feedback or thoughts on on what you classify subspaces.

00:22:51.809 --> 00:22:53.670
That and if you want to have interviews.

00:22:54.130 --> 00:22:56.549
Yeah. Anyone would you like to be on the podcast?

00:22:56.829 --> 00:23:00.450
I listen and I have so many people that I would love to have on the podcast.

00:23:00.569 --> 00:23:07.029
The thing I'm struggling with is, well, one, I need him because I don't know how to technologically.

00:23:07.509 --> 00:23:08.690
Is that the right way to say it?

00:23:08.849 --> 00:23:12.289
Yeah. Do this because this is his area.

00:23:12.289 --> 00:23:15.349
I and I need his assistance.

00:23:16.150 --> 00:23:19.230
And there's some things going on with.

00:23:20.250 --> 00:23:23.349
Outside of work and whatever that is taking up time.

00:23:23.549 --> 00:23:25.670
Yeah. So it's just finding the time.

00:23:25.690 --> 00:23:27.809
But I really, really, really want to do interviews.

00:23:28.109 --> 00:23:30.769
And I'm really trying and I would love to do.

00:23:31.210 --> 00:23:33.450
I really want to have our neighbors on the podcast.

00:23:33.549 --> 00:23:35.990
Yeah, because they are a fantastic example.

00:23:36.269 --> 00:23:37.809
That'll totally happen at some point.

00:23:37.990 --> 00:23:38.930
I mean, we're getting there.

00:23:38.990 --> 00:23:41.650
And I know we keep saying we're going to have interviews and all of this.

00:23:41.650 --> 00:23:45.730
We just have to have the right place or I need his help with the legit.

00:23:46.470 --> 00:23:48.630
This is the right place to do that. Absolutely.

00:23:48.910 --> 00:24:11.150
Whether it's people from like our friends and we have a ton of friends here, whether it's that or somebody via Skype or Zoom or whatever, FaceTime, whatever it is, this would be absolutely the place to do that because we can just we can talk and not have to worry about, you know, the personnel in the hall hearing what we're talking about or the kids upstairs or dogs barking, dogs barking.

00:24:11.150 --> 00:24:13.670
Yeah, coming and going. Right. That whole thing.

00:24:13.849 --> 00:24:15.490
So this would be the great place to do that.

00:24:15.589 --> 00:24:19.789
However, the Wi-Fi here sucks fucking ass.

00:24:20.130 --> 00:24:21.589
Yeah, it's real rough.

00:24:21.890 --> 00:24:30.109
So as far as having interviews with people via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, whatever that poses a problem, that's not going to happen here, probably.

00:24:31.049 --> 00:24:40.990
And as far as having interviews with people who are here, it's just a matter of lining up schedules when people are going to be here, when they have free time, because honestly, some people just come here to chill.

00:24:41.150 --> 00:24:48.390
You know, I would hate to impose on people who are here to relax because there's people here that have really high stress jobs and this is their getaway.

00:24:48.549 --> 00:24:52.410
And there's other ones, too, that might really enjoy talking about their lifestyle.

00:24:53.009 --> 00:24:54.890
You know, we just have to find the right time.

00:24:55.089 --> 00:24:59.670
And like I said, massage has been insane, which I'm very thankful for.

00:25:01.529 --> 00:25:03.789
So it's just a matter of timing on our part.

00:25:03.910 --> 00:25:05.569
Well, we're working on it. Yeah.

00:25:05.849 --> 00:25:07.250
We have kind of a lot going on, I think.

00:25:07.430 --> 00:25:09.789
So anyways, reach out to us. Yeah.

00:25:09.789 --> 00:25:13.910
Her, she's reachable, like we said, on everything.

00:25:14.349 --> 00:25:16.890
Links in the podcast or links in the show notes and stuff like that.

00:25:17.210 --> 00:25:18.049
How you can get a hold of her.

00:25:18.269 --> 00:25:25.210
If you'd like to share your two cents on the whole subspace thing, because I think that'd be a really good future episode.

00:25:25.490 --> 00:25:26.710
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

00:25:27.849 --> 00:25:31.029
And on that note, there's also Dom Space.

00:25:31.769 --> 00:25:35.509
Yes. I really know nothing about like literal.

00:25:35.509 --> 00:25:40.470
I mean, I knew it existed, but I know nothing about Dom Space.

00:25:40.750 --> 00:25:46.849
So, I mean, that makes total sense, because if I have my space, you should have your space. I think that.

00:25:48.869 --> 00:25:55.190
And I'm totally, you know, obviously I'm not you, but I think you.

00:25:56.009 --> 00:26:15.900
Or any Dom can reach that place where it's a little bit euphoric and lack of a better term, like weightless or or whatever, you know, where you've reached that that thing and you're on autopilot and you're just enjoying the moment and what's happening.

00:26:17.559 --> 00:26:21.059
You're being cognizant of the situation, obviously.

00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:28.119
But you're kind of floating on your own cloud, like the sub is floating on his or her own cloud.

00:26:28.700 --> 00:26:31.160
Well, and this is kind of off topic, but not off topic.

00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:34.059
You know, we haven't done a lot with the flogger in the crop.

00:26:34.059 --> 00:26:36.660
Like we said, with noise, the noise issue and things like that.

00:26:36.740 --> 00:26:37.440
People in our house.

00:26:38.119 --> 00:26:42.880
But I've also this is a new thing that's kind of come up the last couple of weeks.

00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.220
I've been referred to a few times as kind of a mommy Dom.

00:26:46.660 --> 00:26:47.700
That's right. You have.

00:26:48.339 --> 00:26:49.480
So I'm not.

00:26:50.079 --> 00:26:51.420
That's not like funny. Ha ha.

00:26:51.539 --> 00:26:53.660
It's cute as fuck.

00:26:54.019 --> 00:26:56.819
Well, and it's actually a pretty accurate, pretty accurate.

00:26:56.900 --> 00:26:59.200
I'm very nurturing that way.

00:26:59.619 --> 00:27:03.380
And people who view us from the outside probably don't realize.

00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:07.180
I mean, the people here do because I'm wearing a key and his dick is in a cage.

00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:09.200
Right. We're pretty open about that here. Right.

00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:13.000
But I mean, we're pretty open about it everywhere other than maybe at home.

00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:15.460
I mean, and whatever. Right.

00:27:15.539 --> 00:27:28.819
But the whole mommy Dom thing here is, you know, we did this photo shoot a couple of weeks ago and the whole hitting thing and flogging and cropping and all of that.

00:27:29.660 --> 00:27:34.980
Mike, OK, so my concern and this is where I struggle being a Dom.

00:27:35.339 --> 00:27:37.640
I don't have issues telling him what to do.

00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:45.880
But if you were to view our household on a daily basis, you would never think that I am the dominant.

00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:48.900
I feel guilty most of the time.

00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:52.980
And it's real hard for me because I know that he works real hard for me.

00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:56.079
He works real hard for my family, for our family.

00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:02.099
I mean, he's supporting kids that aren't even his and household and all of these things.

00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:04.619
And I struggle very hard with.

00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:14.700
Being dominant or ordering him to do more things when he comes home, and I know we've kind of touched on this in previous episodes and things like that, but.

00:28:15.819 --> 00:28:18.160
My whole hesitancy, is that a word?

00:28:18.500 --> 00:28:20.000
Hesitancy? Yeah, go with it. I like it.

00:28:20.119 --> 00:28:26.079
With really going to town on him is I think I would hit a level of Dom space.

00:28:26.259 --> 00:28:33.640
And I worry that the mommy Dom part of me would go away and I would go and go and go and not.

00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:36.279
I mean, I think I would just go ape shit on him.

00:28:36.420 --> 00:28:37.640
But we have a safe word.

00:28:37.740 --> 00:28:46.680
I know. But gosh, I have to get over this barrier in my brain that says I shouldn't hit you because you are the supporter of my family.

00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:48.380
It's two different.

00:28:49.019 --> 00:28:51.200
Secret, if you're listening right now.

00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:52.539
I really wanted to get.

00:28:54.289 --> 00:28:55.950
I and I understand that.

00:28:56.089 --> 00:28:57.470
I just. However.

00:28:57.950 --> 00:29:10.009
I mean, if you could see his poor little face when he comes home from work and it's hot out and he's been doing his work all day, which is sometimes outside where there's no air conditioning and he looks real fucking tired and I feel real bad about hitting him.

00:29:10.009 --> 00:29:14.109
But listen, something I'm learning is, is that's a way to release his stress.

00:29:14.529 --> 00:29:17.470
Yes. I don't know.

00:29:18.509 --> 00:29:26.210
It's I mean, he he's a very obedient, submissive, and I am dominant over him in our house.

00:29:26.309 --> 00:29:29.950
We do live our own type of female led relationship.

00:29:29.950 --> 00:29:36.269
But again, like I cook supper and I generally serve it to him, which is real backwards.

00:29:36.829 --> 00:29:41.089
So is I sit down when I get home from work and shower up.

00:29:41.190 --> 00:29:44.190
I'll sit down on the couch chair thing, whatever.

00:29:44.789 --> 00:29:46.210
And she brings me food.

00:29:48.250 --> 00:30:00.569
Like ninety nine times out of 100 or whatever, and I feel fucking guilty that she's doing that, but I understand it because it's showing her appreciation for what I do outside the house.

00:30:01.109 --> 00:30:04.170
However, on the weekends, it's very different.

00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:06.789
Fucking bitch. I am not.

00:30:08.589 --> 00:30:10.670
I'm never a bitch. I'm just kidding.

00:30:10.670 --> 00:30:12.710
I am so sweet and nice.

00:30:13.069 --> 00:30:14.329
Yes. All the time.

00:30:14.509 --> 00:30:16.069
I don't know about all the time.

00:30:16.069 --> 00:30:17.150
Let's get the crop.

00:30:17.829 --> 00:30:19.150
See, we're getting there.

00:30:21.269 --> 00:30:24.450
He is very attentive and he handles things.

00:30:24.829 --> 00:30:26.450
I enjoy being in that space.

00:30:26.990 --> 00:30:33.390
That is my tiny little creek of subspace.

00:30:33.769 --> 00:30:35.990
You know, my tiny little stream of subspace.

00:30:36.250 --> 00:30:38.589
Like I like I really enjoy being there.

00:30:38.589 --> 00:30:40.470
Mm hmm. That's where I feel.

00:30:41.549 --> 00:30:45.710
Most at home or most comfortable or like, I don't know.

00:30:46.190 --> 00:30:54.750
So I think I think really my whole point in wanting to do this episode is just mainly to kind of show you a side of me like I listen.

00:30:54.829 --> 00:30:56.109
I don't know fucking everything.

00:30:56.309 --> 00:30:58.009
I don't even come close to everything.

00:30:58.650 --> 00:31:00.930
And I'm learning more every single day. Right.

00:31:01.390 --> 00:31:05.009
And I still have my programming that I struggle with.

00:31:05.049 --> 00:31:05.670
You know what I mean?

00:31:05.670 --> 00:31:07.869
Like I have things that I need to work through.

00:31:07.869 --> 00:31:12.890
I get emails sometimes, too, about how do I punish him?

00:31:13.670 --> 00:31:15.210
And I think it touched on this, too.

00:31:15.369 --> 00:31:23.869
I literally don't generally have to punish him, but I don't punish him by hitting him, one, because he would enjoy it.

00:31:24.069 --> 00:31:25.410
Right. And it wouldn't be counterproductive.

00:31:26.250 --> 00:31:29.609
But I have to be creative.

00:31:29.890 --> 00:31:31.230
You have to find your way.

00:31:31.789 --> 00:31:33.470
Like, don't touch me works.

00:31:33.670 --> 00:31:35.869
Yes, I will. I will tell him that I'm not.

00:31:35.950 --> 00:31:37.470
He can't touch me for 24 hours.

00:31:37.470 --> 00:31:38.490
That's a good punishment.

00:31:38.930 --> 00:31:40.190
That's a long time.

00:31:40.329 --> 00:31:42.529
But he doesn't generally get those punishments.

00:31:42.789 --> 00:31:47.190
And listen, it's almost a punishment for me because I'm always touching him as well.

00:31:47.670 --> 00:31:49.190
Like if you were sitting here under the table right now.

00:31:49.190 --> 00:31:52.990
Yes. If you we are touching right now under the table constantly.

00:31:53.690 --> 00:31:55.849
So I mean, you have to.

00:31:56.509 --> 00:31:59.750
And we're certainly not one of the typical.

00:31:59.750 --> 00:32:04.069
I don't want to say typical necessarily, but I've seen this, my God, so.

00:32:04.069 --> 00:32:14.230
I've seen a couple more than often where a couple's been together for quite some time and they intentionally do shit to piss the other person off.

00:32:14.349 --> 00:32:15.269
Oh, true story.

00:32:15.490 --> 00:32:17.150
We do not do that.

00:32:17.410 --> 00:32:24.990
I don't understand where that is healthy in any relationship, much less our specific brand of relationship.

00:32:25.430 --> 00:32:27.869
How is that healthy in any relationship now?

00:32:28.690 --> 00:32:30.230
You're exactly the opposite.

00:32:30.230 --> 00:32:32.690
You do everything you can to make my life easier.

00:32:33.150 --> 00:32:34.369
That's the way I'm wired.

00:32:34.630 --> 00:32:37.329
Yeah, that's the way that's where I enjoy being.

00:32:37.569 --> 00:32:50.259
Now, at the same time, there are moments where, OK, so if it's going to cause a laugh afterwards, right?

00:32:50.700 --> 00:32:52.799
Or it's a funny situation.

00:32:53.099 --> 00:32:55.180
You're you're just it's lighthearted.

00:32:55.700 --> 00:33:12.839
You know, you're not doing something to legit piss the other person off, but you're doing something or whatever that would make the other person, you know, not angry, but like, oh, you fucking got me, you know, or whatever it is.

00:33:12.859 --> 00:33:18.420
Well, and sometimes he'll do things or he'll say things to that he knows will get a rise out of. Right.

00:33:18.900 --> 00:33:20.799
So it's one of those.

00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:22.519
He does it for the shock factor. Right.

00:33:22.619 --> 00:33:23.740
And we both laugh about it.

00:33:23.740 --> 00:33:27.440
It's purely comedy, like me calling her a bitch moments ago.

00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:30.400
Yeah. Not not for a second.

00:33:30.500 --> 00:33:33.500
Would I ever say that she's ever been a bitch to me?

00:33:33.619 --> 00:33:35.859
Oh, fuck. I'll call myself a bitch before anything.

00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:40.619
Yeah. And I'm usually pulling her out of there because she's not being a bitch.

00:33:40.839 --> 00:33:42.960
She's being she's a worst critic sometimes.

00:33:43.059 --> 00:33:44.519
Get real crabby. Yeah.

00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:52.079
So if you're doing it for comedy reasons, I mean, that's that's all right.

00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:57.319
I mean, if you're doing it to legit piss your other person off, stop doing that.

00:33:57.319 --> 00:33:58.859
Well, and here's the other thing, too.

00:33:59.019 --> 00:34:04.519
You know, everybody says when you make jokes like that, that there's always some seriousness behind it.

00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:17.179
And like when he does things like that, I honestly maybe there is to a certain extent some seriousness behind it, because it's it's something that I recognize that I do, that I need, that I'm working on changing or whatever.

00:34:17.539 --> 00:34:19.480
So he'll say something and I find it funny.

00:34:19.559 --> 00:34:21.260
I don't take any of it to heart ever.

00:34:21.500 --> 00:34:22.940
I mean, we have that relationship.

00:34:23.500 --> 00:34:27.860
But, you know, sometimes people say when you're drinking, the truth comes out.

00:34:28.380 --> 00:34:40.179
And. I don't I don't necessarily know if that's the case, but I mean, the things that he jokes about me with are the things that he says when he's trying to get a rise out of me or whatever.

00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:43.519
It is meant completely as a joke.

00:34:43.639 --> 00:34:44.340
Right. None of it.

00:34:44.380 --> 00:34:47.579
I mean, you really have to gauge your partner if that's something that you guys do.

00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:52.099
But he never says anything or does anything that intentionally pisses me off.

00:34:52.099 --> 00:34:58.920
She has spent most of her life with guys tearing her down, and I've spent the last seven years building her right back up.

00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:00.619
Yeah, it's a work in progress.

00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:03.460
You're doing really well.

00:35:03.679 --> 00:35:09.039
I'm much more confident now that I have this podcast and there's people that I feel like I can relate to.

00:35:09.420 --> 00:35:15.219
You have. A couple thousand friends every week listening to what you want to say.

00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:21.159
This one might be a little crazy, but I really appreciate the people that take time out of their day to listen.

00:35:21.159 --> 00:35:22.340
It blows my mind still.

00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:26.760
I say this all the time, but I can't believe that somebody takes time out of their day to listen to what I have to say. Right.

00:35:26.920 --> 00:35:28.300
But I love that that's the case.

00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:32.519
I love that it maybe gets questions going in your mind.

00:35:32.699 --> 00:35:34.019
I just want people to.

00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:36.699
I mean, you don't have to like what I talk about.

00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:39.820
No, you sure as fuck don't have to want to participate in what I talk about.

00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:42.380
And you don't have to like us at all.

00:35:42.539 --> 00:35:46.099
No, but you know, but thank you for liking us.

00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:50.599
I just want to be here to put the information out there. Right.

00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:59.500
And to make people realize that this lifestyle is not for everyone, but it's right there for you to customize to your own relationship.

00:36:00.019 --> 00:36:05.980
And whether you go to the extreme of putting a cage on your significant other's.

00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:09.500
Sexual parts, I don't know, because we are.

00:36:09.739 --> 00:36:13.599
I mean, well, OK, but they have female chastity devices, too, don't they?

00:36:13.980 --> 00:36:27.980
They do. And I guess if you if you really talk about a female relationship, this would apply more to maybe a lesbian couple of some sort or a bi couple, maybe of some sort or whatever.

00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:29.440
I guess I don't know. Yeah.

00:36:29.579 --> 00:36:31.900
My gosh, there's it's a fucking buffet.

00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:39.420
You know what I have noticed from the people in lifestyle that I have come in contact with specifically at this campground.

00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:41.360
They communicate well.

00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:46.380
They have a solid foundation and they really are living their best life.

00:36:46.380 --> 00:36:54.500
And there are people here who absolutely do not understand why I would ever put my husband's dick in a cage.

00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:58.679
But that conversation last night, actually, again, and that's OK.

00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:07.780
And listen, they have come a long way from initially talking to us about it to now they're kind of like, OK, I understand why you I would never do it.

00:37:07.820 --> 00:37:10.260
But I understand why you do.

00:37:10.340 --> 00:37:12.280
I kind of understand why you do it. Not kind of.

00:37:12.619 --> 00:37:18.320
I mean, initially, the first comment was, hey, buddy, listen, I got a pipe cutter. I can get you out.

00:37:20.300 --> 00:37:25.539
Which if you could have seen the face when my husband said, I don't want to get out. Yeah.

00:37:25.980 --> 00:37:26.800
It was fantastic.

00:37:27.300 --> 00:37:29.340
There was some comedy in that, too. Yeah.

00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:32.320
And I think I mean, we're getting off on a little bit of a tangent again.

00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:43.199
But I think that this this person had some time away from the initial conversation to maybe think about it.

00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:50.860
And he he addressed me in a in a comedic kind of way, right, a bro comedic kind of way.

00:37:51.239 --> 00:37:54.699
And and we just had a conversation about it.

00:37:54.920 --> 00:38:02.239
I think a lot of it is not like, you know, like I didn't feel I didn't feel torn down.

00:38:02.400 --> 00:38:04.760
I didn't feel degraded. I didn't feel insulted.

00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:05.780
I didn't none of that.

00:38:05.780 --> 00:38:07.900
Like I was very confident in the way I was talking.

00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:10.119
And he's very receptive to what I said.

00:38:10.119 --> 00:38:17.059
So what I think part of the reason when approached you directly to is because I think he maybe thought I was full of shit. Yeah.

00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:20.280
So he had to go to you for backup, which is totally fine.

00:38:20.360 --> 00:38:21.980
Which yeah, which is whatever.

00:38:22.179 --> 00:38:26.059
I mean, you know, why not go to the person that's actually wearing the thing on his dick? Right.

00:38:26.199 --> 00:38:31.360
You know, and have the conversation. Yeah. And yeah, I don't know.

00:38:31.380 --> 00:38:37.340
I thought it was actually a pretty good conversation with a guy who'd never probably even heard of it until just recently.

00:38:37.340 --> 00:38:38.880
Yeah. You know, I agree.

00:38:38.980 --> 00:38:52.800
That's a pretty big shock factor for, you know, certain the way that people are brought up sometimes or what you have an understanding of, like, you know, when I saw Cockage at first, I was like, what the fuck is that?

00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:54.239
You know, I loved it.

00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:55.920
Screenshot it, sent to her.

00:38:56.119 --> 00:38:56.599
Fuck yeah.

00:38:56.920 --> 00:38:58.579
Is what the response was.

00:38:58.780 --> 00:39:00.559
And we've been hit.

00:39:00.659 --> 00:39:02.179
You know, we hit the ground running pretty much.

00:39:02.420 --> 00:39:08.760
So we're wired a little bit differently than some people and totally that's OK, too.

00:39:10.019 --> 00:39:12.440
But I felt really good about that conversation last night.

00:39:12.940 --> 00:39:14.179
It was kind of fun, actually.

00:39:15.260 --> 00:39:22.519
I really and it really makes me feel like it's possible to really knock down some of the stigma stigma with this lifestyle.

00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:30.840
Yeah. I mean, all the time I say, take the sex out of it and just look at the foundation of the relationship of the people that are participating in the lifestyle things.

00:39:31.300 --> 00:39:37.400
Right. I think that overall, there's a fantastic foundation to the relationship.

00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:42.119
And listen, this is the happiest I've ever been in any relationship.

00:39:42.559 --> 00:39:42.880
Same here.

00:39:43.920 --> 00:39:48.980
And that maybe doesn't have anything to do with the lifestyle, but I sure think that it plays a pretty big role.

00:39:49.139 --> 00:39:49.820
I think it does.

00:39:50.139 --> 00:40:02.719
Why? I think it really lets us be who we really are, you know, and not have to like hide or pretend that we're not, you know, in that mindset or or whatever.

00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:14.579
And, you know, if we stop this officially one day, this, you know, this the life, the label that we have, whatever, stop it.

00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:15.719
Take the K jobs throw it away.

00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:21.000
I guarantee you, I am still going to be the same person to her.

00:40:22.119 --> 00:40:24.800
Because that's the way I'm wired and that's where I am most comfortable.

00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:27.280
So that's just the way it is.

00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:32.000
Since doing this podcast to even I mean, we're 43 episodes in.

00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:35.800
Yeah. In the beginning, I was real apprehensive about doing this.

00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:38.679
I was kind of scared about what people might think about me.

00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:43.219
So if there's people listening to this podcast, they're like, I could never tell my friends or family.

00:40:44.159 --> 00:40:45.300
That may hold true.

00:40:45.420 --> 00:40:47.320
You may not ever be able to tell them.

00:40:47.539 --> 00:40:48.119
No, and that's OK.

00:40:48.539 --> 00:40:51.019
I am so much more comfortable talking about it.

00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:54.360
And, you know, I've said this before.

00:40:54.400 --> 00:41:04.260
My kids don't necessarily know about the cock cage, but they know my 18 year old will soon to be 18 year old daughter is aware that we have the type of relationship where I'm in charge or I'm in control.

00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:10.739
And, you know, our kids see nothing but love and attentiveness between the two of us and things like that. So.

00:41:12.219 --> 00:41:25.619
I just I've come a long way, and I'm really happy that there's so many of you following along on this journey with me, and I've just become so much more comfortable with discussing this lifestyle, because I think.

00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:27.800
It's fantastic.

00:41:28.260 --> 00:41:32.320
I mean, I just really think it's people need to see the healthy sides of it.

00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:34.980
Right. The beneficial sides of it. I mean.

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:37.760
Everything has its ups and downs.

00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:39.500
Life in general has its ups and downs.

00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:42.539
And there's bad parts of the lifestyle as well.

00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:44.840
There's bad people in the lifestyle. It happens.

00:41:44.940 --> 00:41:46.019
There's bad people everywhere.

00:41:46.380 --> 00:41:53.670
Yeah. I don't know.

00:41:53.730 --> 00:41:55.449
We have kind of gone off on a tangent.

00:41:55.789 --> 00:41:57.730
Initially, it was supposed to be a subspace.

00:41:57.730 --> 00:42:01.309
It turned into a molten dew and water time with.

00:42:02.309 --> 00:42:19.510
Sort of. I mean, if we want to wrap it all up, our perspective, the sub is our perspective of the subspace thing is, you know, we've only inched in a little bit.

00:42:20.409 --> 00:42:29.289
And again, this specific episode, we're just kind of peeling off the first layer a little bit and just having a conversation about it.

00:42:29.730 --> 00:42:34.070
And again, I assume there's going to be more episodes down the road to dig a little bit deeper.

00:42:34.289 --> 00:42:36.929
So stay tuned for those and offer feedback.

00:42:37.090 --> 00:42:37.929
I would love to hear.

00:42:38.030 --> 00:42:42.150
I mean, I am always for learning new things and understanding.

00:42:42.610 --> 00:42:45.730
And then I tweak it to my own liking.

00:42:46.190 --> 00:42:47.690
I think we did peel off that first layer.

00:42:48.050 --> 00:42:52.250
I think so, too, as well as talking about how fantastic all of you are.

00:42:52.690 --> 00:42:57.210
Right. And how much this podcast has changed my life in doing it.

00:42:57.570 --> 00:43:03.590
And I am so grateful for the feedback that I get, that people are like, you've helped me so much.

00:43:04.170 --> 00:43:06.449
Yes, I love that. I love that so much.

00:43:07.429 --> 00:43:12.130
Again, the technology is not my friend and I'm getting better and I'm learning.

00:43:12.309 --> 00:43:13.449
This is a whole new world for me.

00:43:13.650 --> 00:43:18.389
But he puts a lot of work into the post-production aspect.

00:43:18.590 --> 00:43:20.050
So this is kind of his baby, too.

00:43:20.150 --> 00:43:22.090
So as much as I love it, he loves it as well.

00:43:22.570 --> 00:43:24.570
It's really something that we do together.

00:43:24.849 --> 00:43:46.389
And so when when she gets when Miss Christine gets emails, Twitter messages, TikTok messages, whatever it is, when she gets that with people that say, thank you for what you're doing, man, is that an uplift for the week?

00:43:46.969 --> 00:43:48.650
I would take that over money any day.

00:43:48.769 --> 00:43:50.909
Yeah, like that.

00:43:51.030 --> 00:43:52.929
We thoroughly enjoy that.

00:43:53.130 --> 00:43:58.630
And so, again, thank you for those messages, because we really, really sincerely appreciate it.

00:43:59.630 --> 00:44:14.110
So if you get anything out of this podcast, know that if you are taking time to listen to it, we sincerely appreciate you and appreciate your time and hope that what we have to say in some way, shape or form resonates with you and helps you out in any way that it can.

00:44:14.329 --> 00:44:16.130
Yeah, I think that wraps it up nicely.

00:44:16.909 --> 00:44:19.630
I hope you all have a fantastic week.

00:44:20.409 --> 00:44:25.150
Be good human beings and we will chat soon.

00:44:25.610 --> 00:44:28.150
Love you all. We come in.