0141 Female Led Relationships: Chastity 101: What it is and Why Women Love it!

WEBVTT

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I remember back in high school getting high.

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Oh, whoops.

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I got high in high school, too, it's OK.

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists.

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We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.

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Welcome back.

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We're going to live on the wild side and do this without my glasses. What do you think?

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Can it be done? Because I hate looking All right, let's see what happens.

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Episode 41.

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On the topic of pegging, we're going to move right into male chastity.

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But we're going to talk about why men put their dicks in cages and why women like it.

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I have some articles that I'm going to skim through and give you my opinion because that's fun for me.

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So here we go.

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But first.

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Housekeeping.

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My first issue of housekeeping is my amazing, loyal Patreon fans who have stuck with me through my absence on social media and me trying to get my poop in a group.

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You guys are fantastic, loyal fans, faithful.

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I love you so much for sticking with me.

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And this episode is dedicated to you.

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I appreciate each and every one of you.

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That topic also kind of leads into my second housekeeping issue.

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I would like to address why I do this podcast and why I interact with the people who email me.

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I don't do this for money.

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I don't make a single dime from this podcast.

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Occasionally, people will order off Love-Ince and I will get the proceeds from that.

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But I think that's happened maybe twice, maybe once.

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I don't even know because it wasn't significant.

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While I appreciate the people that ordered. Thank you so much.

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I'm just saying that is not why I do this podcast.

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I do this podcast because I remember what it was for me getting into this lifestyle.

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I know what it's like to me still this day.

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Sometimes I get confused or I lose my perspective or I get frustrated and I wish I had someone to talk to.

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Well, maybe listening to what I have to say will help you get through what you're going through.

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And that is payment enough for me.

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I'm very frustrated by some emails that I got that made it seem as though I do this just for money.

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That is not the case.

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If this was my sole income.

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This podcast wouldn't exist because it doesn't pay anything.

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I do it because I enjoy doing it.

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I enjoy talking about my life and being engaged by people with questions.

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If I can help, I love to help.

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Anyway, rant over.

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I just want everyone out there to understand that this is not a get rich quick scheme.

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This is me sharing the struggles that I went through, getting into this lifestyle, sharing what I like about it.

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And for the most part, taking the fucking sex out of it and talking about the emotions that are involved in this lifestyle.

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For real. Rant over.

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I think that also wraps up housekeeping other than to say if you follow me on OF or if you have sent me an email, I believe I've gotten to everybody's messages and emails.

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And again, Patreon peeps, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hanging in there and being supportive.

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You guys are the best.

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So let's talk about why guys lock their dicks in cages.

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I mean, it's fun, right?

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The first article.

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That I found is by Vice.

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I'll put the link in the show notes.

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Why these guys put their dicks in cages.

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I mean, why wouldn't you want to read that article?

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So three men talk about peeing sitting down, the thrill of submission and other nuances of chastity cages.

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Male chastity is that thing where you lock your penis in a specially designed cage that prevents you from getting a full erection or using your penis for sex.

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While locked up, you can't masturbate or orgasm and the cage can only be removed by your designated key holder.

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While the thought of this makes most men cringe.

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Let me just insert that's a fucking true statement.

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Anybody at the campground that has heard that I lock my husband's dick in a cage cringes visibly.

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It makes others whimper with excitement.

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Those are the people I want to know.

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Being caged can be extremely exciting and fulfilling.

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Some people say orgasm denial increases your sex drive and improves your focus.

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I would say that's also very, very true.

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I noticed that in my subbie.

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It also obviously heightens the stakes of a dumb sub relationship with your master or mistress able to punish their sub by denying them not just sex but the ability to orgasm.

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Obviously, this is not a casual kink.

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Not only does it change the life of the caged.

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It places a lot of responsibility in the hands of the key holder.

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While slight discomfort is common for those who put their penis in a cage.

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Duh.

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That's in the article.

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In more serious cases, a faulty or poorly set up cage can cause serious injury.

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And if that happens, a key holder needs to be able to remove the device right away.

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To learn more about what drives the people involved in this fetish, we spoke to three men about their experiences with chastity and any advice they had for those itching to try it.

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Itching and talking about a penis seems like contra...

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Why can I never say this word?

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Seems like a bad combination.

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We'll just go with that.

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Two of the men are gay.

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Interesting.

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And one is bisexual.

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That's very interesting to me.

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Though that doesn't mean that straight men aren't into these cages.

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It just means all of the hetero guys we...

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All of the hetero guys we approached for this piece declined to talk out of embarrassment and nervousness.

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All names have been changed.

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That's very interesting.

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I wonder why that is.

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Straight men, why are you ashamed to admit that you put your penis in a cage?

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I think it's hot.

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I bet there's a lot of women that would think it is hot, too.

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Be you, man.

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Who gives a fuck about everybody else?

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Travis, 29, gay.

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He's our first one.

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Question.

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What was it like first wearing a cage?

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It was a whole learning experience, how to deal with it and how to sleep through the night.

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My first time trying it, I was locked up for just a day in the CB3000.

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You have to get adjusted to it.

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The first time was just a day, but I couldn't sleep that night.

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So I took it off and waited a little bit and slowly built up to it.

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Every.

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That's my favorite.

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Everyone sleeps and gets boners.

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It happens.

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But these are made so you can't get a boner.

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So you wake up and have to figure out a way to get it to go down and then go from there.

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I didn't really know how to try to cold shower, but realized if you just pee, you're fine.

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Oh, Travis.

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So true.

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We talked about that, I think, in my other episode.

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The night boners go away, according to my subbie.

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The first two or three nights of having it on, which interestingly enough, my subbie just put it on and ran with it.

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I think the first time he had it on, he had it on for like a month.

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Once we found the cage that worked well for him.

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I should say that because I know in the beginning we did go through a couple that didn't work well.

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But the night boners go away.

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Don't be scared.

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OK, what do you like about it?

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What do you like most about it?

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It's the not getting off part.

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I like the most.

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It's like you're giving up something.

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I'm into someone having a certain level of control over me.

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Someone saying, wear the shirt or wear this underwear.

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That stuff gets me excited.

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Chastity is an extension of that.

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I'm giving I'm giving this up to someone.

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I'm letting them decide.

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I remember back in high school getting high top chucks because it was a really low level form of bondage you could wear every day because it restricted your ankle.

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For me, it's a lot of the wearing something sexy and people not knowing.

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There is something very true to all of that.

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I will not look at high top shoes the same anymore, though.

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Interesting.

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I know that there have been times where I make my subby wear women's panties to work while he has his cage on.

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And it's quite a turn on for him, as is for me.

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I enjoy it.

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But I think it's the you have it on underneath, especially in his type of work.

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He's talking to all these manly men and he's wearing a pink thong underneath with a cock cage.

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I mean, just talking about it.

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It's fucking hot.

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What surprised you most about wearing the cage?

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It's a lot of work.

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Yes, yes, it is.

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When you read a story or watch a porn, it's sexy the whole time, but you have to clean it every day.

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You have to make sure you're trimmed and don't.

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And so it doesn't pinch your hair.

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You have to be sure you're cautious when using the restroom.

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I remember one time I used a public bathroom and I ended up getting pee everywhere.

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I was standing and hadn't realized that you have to sit down to go when you're locked up.

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I was a hot mess.

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It was all over my pants, my coat, everything.

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It can be a lot of work.

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My biggest concern about my subbie being in a cage is the cleanliness.

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Listen, I may be mean to that dick, but it's my dick and I enjoy it.

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I don't want anything to happen to it.

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So he's very good about the hair situation.

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One situation he's had to maybe a couple of the other guys will mention it is the pinching from where the lock attaches.

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His balls tend to slide right in there between the post.

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And the lock and the ball cock ring, I think is where it is.

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I'm not one hundred percent sure on that. He would have to verify, but it pinches. In fact, one of the last cages we had, it pinched so much that it broke the skin.

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I'm like, yeah, we're going to take a time out from this.

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The last thing you need is an infection in your balls.

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What are the benefits?

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Oh, I'm excited for this one.

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I've often had lower sex drive than the partners I'm with.

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So I've found that it actually gets me going a little more.

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I know, especially in grad school, I would often jack off to get it out of the way.

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So locking up makes everything a little more fun and out of reach.

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The cage makes my subbie side come out and you totally, yeah, I like that they said subbie.

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And you really just want to latch on and have some good snuggles that night.

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So this is also interesting to me because my subbie and I cuddle every night at bed.

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We are at bed.

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When we go to bed at night, we always cuddle.

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We have a certain way we position.

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However, when he's locked, as opposed to when he's not.

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The cuddling seems to be a little bit more intense when he is locked.

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More gratifying, more of a turn on maybe.

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It's interesting.

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So we have Jerry, 27, gay.

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What was your first interaction with chastity?

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The first time I ever met up with anyone for play, I was 19.

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One of the first things he did was put me in a chastity device.

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It was a metal cage and I was so turned on that I couldn't get soft enough to actually touch it.

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I couldn't actually get into the device.

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That was the first time I ever hooked up with a guy.

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Besides making out and touching someone's feet...

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Besides making out and touching someone's feet my first year of college.

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I was in chastity about five hours that first time.

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I was it was actually Christmas Eve.

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When I got back home, I had to hide the indent mark from the metal cuffs on my wrists.

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Jerry knows how to have a good time.

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Let's see.

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This is interesting.

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What drew you to the fetish in the first place?

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I'm definitely into sensory play in a lot of kinky ways.

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With chastity, there is a feeling of enclosure.

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Every part of your cock is completely encased, enclosed and enclosed.

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It reinforces my kinky headspace that I am inferior.

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Someone who does not deserve to be allowed to get off, who needs to be put in their place.

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For me, that's what I truly wanted.

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That's my sexual fantasy.

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Chastity provides that because you cannot engage in active, penetrative sex, which is tremendously exciting for me.

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Being in.

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Oh, I really need to put my glasses on. Being impotent, impotent in that regard.

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There's certainly a feminization aspect to it as well that I really like.

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I like that you can't stand up to use the urinal.

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You're kind of smooshing the heteropatriarchy a little bit.

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When I'm in the bathroom and I have to pee sitting down because of my cage, it's like saying, just so all you men know, I'm not one of y'all.

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Which I like.

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I have to admit, I kind of like that for my subbie too.

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I like when he has to sit down to pee.

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In my real life, I'm fairly ambitious and controversial.

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Conversational.

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Oh, I'm going to have to put my glasses on.

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I'm fairly ambitious and conversational, outgoing.

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Because of that, I have an inverse side as well.

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That inverse side wants to contain myself and keep myself subservient.

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Kevin 26 by.

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How long have you been in chastity?

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I first experimented with chastity about two years ago, which is roughly the same time I started getting into puppy play.

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How did you get into it?

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I started with the CB6K and I wore it to a birthday party.

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I wore it for a few hours that night.

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After the party, I put it on someone else and operated in a key holder capacity for a month.

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I haven't worn the CB6K for more than a few hours at a time.

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I find that my skin kind of muffin tops out of the holes and I get blisters from it rubbing against my underwear.

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I also got so hard once that it split down the center seam and then pinched shut.

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It left me with a nasty blood blister. I haven't worn it since.

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That sounds fucking painful as fuck.

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What other models have what other models have you used?

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I tried using the All Silicone Bond 4 brand.

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It fits better, but I have different problems with it.

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Namely, I can't keep it properly lubricated.

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And after about an hour, it feels like someone has wrapped my cock and duct tape and is trying to rip it off. That sounds real fucking painful.

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Yikes.

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I got a relatively cheap metal cage from Purple Passion in the city that looks like a set of rings welded together.

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Sounds like what my subbie wears.

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I've been able to wear it for days on end without any irritation or complaint.

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It can be heavy, which is why I like it.

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Though, so I use small, thin length nylon rope to make sort of a belt to take the weight off.

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Interesting.

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Way to improvise, Kevin.

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Well done.

00:18:24.369 --> 00:18:31.950
What's the longest you've been locked up? The longest I've gone was four days, which seems to be a short duration compared to other guys I know.

00:18:32.250 --> 00:18:44.130
I don't have a key holder or a regular play partner, so it is self-imposed when I'm locked up. My advice to people who are interested in it would be to see if a friend has a cage you can borrow because they're not cheap.

00:18:45.150 --> 00:18:47.589
Wear it for a few days and get someone to act as a key holder.

00:18:48.029 --> 00:18:55.309
For many of the cages, you should take it off at least once a week for cleaning and check your junk for any cuts, abrasions, rashes and so on.

00:18:56.609 --> 00:18:58.349
Very true, Kevin, very true.

00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:14.619
I would be curious, anybody who's listening to this that does practice chastity, what is the longest you have been locked without being let out?

00:19:15.019 --> 00:19:18.900
Oh, I still have to put my glasses on for this one. It is way too little.

00:19:21.470 --> 00:19:22.630
Oh, so much better.

00:19:24.809 --> 00:19:33.880
OK, this next article we're going to talk about is Chastity Club.

00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:36.660
Again, the link will be in my show notes.

00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:38.579
Why is male chastity appealing?

00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:42.920
Before I even get into this, let me tell you why I find it appealing.

00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:45.779
I love being dominant.

00:19:47.240 --> 00:19:50.680
I love the key around my neck.

00:19:51.319 --> 00:19:53.039
I love having that control.

00:19:54.599 --> 00:19:59.119
And I love his focus on me when he's locked.

00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:04.859
He focuses on me anyway, but you put a cage on that wiener.

00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:06.180
Yum.

00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:10.619
For all my women listening out there, what are the advantages for women?

00:20:11.859 --> 00:20:13.039
I can tell you a few.

00:20:14.420 --> 00:20:16.519
OK, so this is what the article says.

00:20:17.180 --> 00:20:20.259
So what is it about male chastity that could possibly appeal to women?

00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:26.559
We have discovered that there are actually several things about this activity that are potentially very attractive to them.

00:20:27.140 --> 00:20:35.740
Probably the single most important one is that the husband's sole focus is suddenly and dramatically refocused on their wives.

00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:38.039
Men who are a male chastity.

00:20:39.380 --> 00:20:40.640
Let me try that again.

00:20:41.220 --> 00:20:47.420
Men who are a male chastity become locked, pun intended, on their wives like never before.

00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:48.839
True statement.

00:20:50.299 --> 00:20:54.700
They dote on her and try to please her in ways they may not have before.

00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:56.380
But why is that?

00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:59.779
The truth is, many men are chronic masturbators.

00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:03.460
As a guy, I know what happens when I have an orgasm.

00:21:03.700 --> 00:21:04.960
It's like a sigh of relief.

00:21:05.259 --> 00:21:10.720
I feel content and there's less focus on my wife because a sexual need has been met.

00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:13.299
It doesn't mean I don't love my life.

00:21:13.799 --> 00:21:16.599
It doesn't mean that I don't love my wife because I do.

00:21:17.059 --> 00:21:20.099
The reality is, I guess you could say, there is less.

00:21:20.500 --> 00:21:21.819
There is a less.

00:21:22.339 --> 00:21:24.359
Ooh, rough sentence, Christine.

00:21:25.619 --> 00:21:32.279
This reality is, I guess you could say, there is less a sense of urgency to meet her needs.

00:21:32.539 --> 00:21:37.700
But if a guy is in chastity, he tends to focus on his wife like a laser beam.

00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:42.079
And this renewed focus can serve as an aphrodisiac for women.

00:21:43.220 --> 00:21:44.619
This is quite true.

00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.460
I have to agree to that.

00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:51.920
Secondly, it can also potentially improve her sex life.

00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:52.900
Ooh.

00:21:54.099 --> 00:21:59.880
Why? Because when she takes away a guy's masturbation outlet, his sole sexual outlet becomes his wife.

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:06.859
I have to say, too, it is so much easier to get my hubby worked up when he's locked up.

00:22:07.099 --> 00:22:08.019
It's so fun.

00:22:08.380 --> 00:22:13.740
Like, just if I rub my fingernails across the bottom of his feet just right.

00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:17.619
Anyway, back at the ranch.

00:22:20.970 --> 00:22:26.150
Why? Because when she takes away a guy's masturbation outlet, his sole sexual outlet becomes his wife.

00:22:26.650 --> 00:22:30.670
She gets his best effort and she gets it whenever she wants it and needs it.

00:22:30.930 --> 00:22:35.109
She no longer has to worry about him being too tired or wanting to watch the ballgame.

00:22:35.650 --> 00:22:38.730
Instead, he now has renewed drive and sexual frenzy.

00:22:39.549 --> 00:22:45.470
She also doesn't have to worry about him stroking off, fantasizing about his hot secretary or the busty blonde next door.

00:22:46.049 --> 00:22:53.309
She gets his complete sexual attention and women love being the sole object of their husband's sexual interest.

00:22:56.819 --> 00:23:02.359
A third reason why this may appeal to women is that they feel empowered and more in control in the relationship.

00:23:03.019 --> 00:23:11.000
The power and control she has cannot be underestimated, as many women really enjoy being the goddess or the key holder.

00:23:12.180 --> 00:23:18.700
Out of all of that, the third reason is the one that resonates with me the most.

00:23:20.119 --> 00:23:28.759
Having this key around my neck and having his dick in a cage is almost as powerful as strapping on the strap on.

00:23:31.170 --> 00:23:32.329
It's a...

00:23:32.329 --> 00:23:34.130
I can't even put it into words.

00:23:34.690 --> 00:23:39.230
And at first, I have to admit, being called goddess or mistress...

00:23:40.769 --> 00:23:42.589
It made me cringe.

00:23:44.390 --> 00:23:46.609
But it's totally different now.

00:23:47.630 --> 00:23:49.190
I think the longer...

00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:58.680
I think the longer you practice this or the more confident you get in yourself, the more you will enjoy being addressed as that.

00:24:03.890 --> 00:24:05.349
OK, moving on.

00:24:05.670 --> 00:24:07.089
What are the advantages for men?

00:24:07.990 --> 00:24:12.950
So obviously, there are some pretty compelling reasons why a woman might be interested in male chastity.

00:24:13.210 --> 00:24:16.210
But why would a guy want to be placed in chastity?

00:24:16.910 --> 00:24:20.170
Believe it or not, there are several reasons why guys want this.

00:24:22.730 --> 00:24:26.529
We ask guys to rate several different areas of possible sexual interest.

00:24:27.009 --> 00:24:38.670
Surprisingly, over 84 percent of guys who have responded to our survey thus far have indicated at least some interest in orgasm denial, even for a short period of time.

00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:41.130
Let me stop right there and just say this.

00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:50.049
I've learned recently that I'm kind of an all or nothing type of person when it comes to certain things, not male chastity.

00:24:50.049 --> 00:24:57.109
However, I will say if this is something that women you want to try or men you want to try.

00:24:58.569 --> 00:25:05.190
From past experiences, I've noticed that men are more all or nothing like they want to put it on, they want to leave it on and they don't want to take it off.

00:25:05.349 --> 00:25:13.009
The ones that are really interested in it, where women are like, can you just put it on for a day or just a few hours?

00:25:13.210 --> 00:25:19.890
And listen, I get that because there is nothing sexier than looking at my subbie's dick in a cage.

00:25:20.329 --> 00:25:21.309
It's fucking hot.

00:25:21.529 --> 00:25:22.329
I love it.

00:25:23.230 --> 00:25:24.210
It's amazing.

00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:26.569
It is visually appealing.

00:25:27.970 --> 00:25:39.490
And I think the best thing any couple can do when entering into chastity or practicing a chastity relationship, whatever your dynamic is.

00:25:40.470 --> 00:25:41.250
Take it slow.

00:25:41.549 --> 00:25:44.009
And I say that all the time, but seriously, take it slow.

00:25:44.450 --> 00:25:47.509
If you just go guns blazing into it, it's going to end badly.

00:25:47.509 --> 00:25:52.789
You have to take time to communicate how you're feeling good, bad or otherwise.

00:25:54.650 --> 00:26:06.710
If you, let me tell you, is doing this, you're going to experience so many emotions on both ends, the male and the female or whatever your dynamic is, whatever your relationship is.

00:26:07.450 --> 00:26:14.549
Either way, there's going to be a ton of emotions going through locking your dick up.

00:26:15.769 --> 00:26:26.849
Plain and simple, you have to communicate the feelings that you're feeling, whether it's just for that day, because I am an unpredictable hot mess of emotions a lot.

00:26:28.289 --> 00:26:33.670
And the best way for me to deal with that is just look at my subbie and be like, listen, this is how I feel today.

00:26:35.150 --> 00:26:40.809
This may not be how you're intending to make me feel, but this is the vibe I'm getting from you or this is just how I feel today.

00:26:40.869 --> 00:26:44.690
You're not doing anything to make me feel this way, but this is how I feel today.

00:26:46.470 --> 00:26:55.890
And whichever partner is receiving the information about how that partner feels, my best piece of advice, acknowledge how they're feeling.

00:26:56.410 --> 00:26:59.829
You don't necessarily need to try and solve their problem.

00:27:00.170 --> 00:27:02.450
Just acknowledge their feelings.

00:27:03.490 --> 00:27:04.230
Let them know.

00:27:05.170 --> 00:27:10.289
I maybe don't understand why you feel this way, but I'm here to support you in any way that I can.

00:27:11.329 --> 00:27:12.410
Work through it together.

00:27:13.250 --> 00:27:15.349
That's where that strong foundation comes in.

00:27:22.460 --> 00:27:23.559
OK, back on track.

00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:27.140
That was an astonishingly high number to us.

00:27:27.619 --> 00:27:35.539
It begs the question, are smaller endowed guys likely to be drawn to male chastity than guys of average or above average penis size?

00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:38.579
I'm going to say.

00:27:39.420 --> 00:27:39.980
No.

00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:44.299
Because I've seen some big dick locked up.

00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:56.960
And also on that note, cage designers, not that any of them are listening to this, but if you design a cage, it would be nice if maybe you figured something out for men who have large balls.

00:27:57.579 --> 00:28:01.700
It seems like there's a shortage of ring size for men with large balls.

00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:03.720
Just my opinion.

00:28:05.119 --> 00:28:09.500
In researching the subject, I found no evidence either way.

00:28:09.960 --> 00:28:12.160
So I guess it's impossible to make that inference.

00:28:12.779 --> 00:28:16.920
But from our small sample size, it was definitely eye opening.

00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:26.400
Some guys may not even know what they want. They just know the idea of being denied an orgasm and or having their wives control or control their orgasm.

00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:30.640
If even on a short term basis, really does turn them on.

00:28:36.390 --> 00:28:40.109
One of the reasons, perhaps strangely, goes back to masturbation.

00:28:40.509 --> 00:28:41.490
Guys do it a lot.

00:28:41.950 --> 00:28:43.869
Sometimes we even feel guilty afterwards.

00:28:44.490 --> 00:28:50.589
Have any of you guys ever stroked off, but your wife didn't know about it? And then you felt bad or guilty for doing so afterwards?

00:28:51.170 --> 00:28:59.269
By turning over, by turning over control of this aspect of a guy's sexuality, it may help eliminate that inner conflict.

00:29:00.650 --> 00:29:05.730
I would like to interject and say, does this inner conflict come from the fact that?

00:29:07.210 --> 00:29:10.490
Like when I grew up, I was always told masturbating was bad.

00:29:11.509 --> 00:29:11.990
Bullshit.

00:29:13.710 --> 00:29:17.930
Listen, I wouldn't even know how to make myself get off if I didn't masturbate.

00:29:18.509 --> 00:29:19.529
Masturbating is important.

00:29:20.609 --> 00:29:22.230
Why would you tell people it's bad?

00:29:22.349 --> 00:29:25.150
Like I grew up thinking it was terrible to touch yourself.

00:29:25.890 --> 00:29:27.690
Fuck that. I'm telling my daughter, listen.

00:29:28.769 --> 00:29:30.349
Again, she's almost 18.

00:29:30.509 --> 00:29:31.549
Don't come after me.

00:29:32.430 --> 00:29:40.450
If you want to know what feels good for you, the best way to fucking do it is explore yourself and figure it out.

00:29:41.230 --> 00:29:46.009
Then if you make mistakes, it's just you, which really, who gives a fuck if you do make a mistake?

00:29:46.230 --> 00:29:48.069
Sex is fucking awkward no matter what.

00:29:49.789 --> 00:29:52.769
I cannot get behind that masturbation is bad.

00:29:53.029 --> 00:29:54.230
Fuck that. Do it often.

00:29:55.369 --> 00:29:56.069
I do.

00:29:57.470 --> 00:29:59.390
Not as often as I should, probably.

00:30:00.009 --> 00:30:00.230
OK.

00:30:01.509 --> 00:30:03.170
Again, back on track.

00:30:04.009 --> 00:30:05.869
This conflict could come from a variety.

00:30:06.309 --> 00:30:09.109
This conflict could come for a variety of reasons.

00:30:09.329 --> 00:30:09.509
A.

00:30:09.970 --> 00:30:13.829
Perhaps you're stroking off or fantasizing about a woman other than your wife.

00:30:14.410 --> 00:30:19.609
B. Knowing that your wife wants sex later that night, she will probably not get your best effort.

00:30:20.309 --> 00:30:20.809
Or C.

00:30:21.470 --> 00:30:25.089
Recognizing that your own masturbation habits are simply out of control.

00:30:25.089 --> 00:30:29.710
Thus, male chastity can help keep a guy more sexually focused on his wife.

00:30:30.329 --> 00:30:30.789
Now listen.

00:30:32.470 --> 00:30:34.130
What is excessive masturbation?

00:30:34.509 --> 00:30:35.829
Who determines that?

00:30:36.670 --> 00:30:36.990
Like.

00:30:37.609 --> 00:30:40.549
Is me playing with my bullet four times a day excessive?

00:30:41.210 --> 00:30:45.349
Is a guy jerking off in the shower in the morning and at night excessive?

00:30:45.990 --> 00:30:47.430
And why is it excessive?

00:30:48.869 --> 00:30:51.250
These are the questions that boggle my mind.

00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:04.740
In addition, some guys who really think through this concept may have already recognized that they are not focused on their wives outside the bedroom like they should be either.

00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:06.140
They know it.

00:31:06.359 --> 00:31:07.099
They feel it.

00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:09.599
But they are just unsure of what to do about it.

00:31:10.140 --> 00:31:22.640
So they come to the conclusion that male chastity will provide them with extra motivation or the incentive they need to really focus more attention on their wives than they have been.

00:31:24.839 --> 00:31:40.599
Lastly, another undeniable attraction for some guys, especially submissive males in a dom sub relationship, is that surrendering their orgasm to their dominant females is the ultimate expression of their submission and as such is highly arousing for them.

00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:46.880
Likewise, the dom in such a relationship is also quite turned on by this dynamic as well.

00:31:47.380 --> 00:31:47.940
True statement.

00:31:48.779 --> 00:31:53.160
Yes, a guy can obviously be denied an orgasm without going into male chastity.

00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:58.460
But by doing so, it really does give your dom more power and control in the relationship.

00:31:58.839 --> 00:32:09.019
While I have seen no studies that suggest male chastity is more likely to occur in a dom sub relationship, it seems feasible that there are at least some possible correlations.

00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:10.960
Hmm.

00:32:12.619 --> 00:32:23.680
I think male chastity, I don't think, I think it's whatever your dynamic is. I think there's people that participate in male or that participate in chastity that aren't in a dom sub relationship.

00:32:24.299 --> 00:32:26.339
I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

00:32:27.140 --> 00:32:35.240
If you're in chastity, are you in a dom sub relationship or do you do it for the sheer enjoyment of the chastity itself?

00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:44.819
Is it for other reasons than giving your significant other control of your penis or vagina?

00:32:45.140 --> 00:32:46.039
I guess whatever.

00:32:46.779 --> 00:32:50.640
I mean, this is specifically male chastity, I guess we're kind of talking about, but.

00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:54.359
I'd be interested in how people's dynamic works.

00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:58.559
Or how their dynamics work, however you want to say it.

00:33:04.119 --> 00:33:07.319
OK, this is the last part of this.

00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:11.500
Male chastity, role play or real lifestyle change.

00:33:12.220 --> 00:33:21.240
Male chastity is something you can engage in on a part time basis, fantasy role play basis that changes things up or other sexual practice.

00:33:21.559 --> 00:33:26.579
It can simply be a fun way of creating a little more sexual tension and excitement in your relationship.

00:33:26.900 --> 00:33:30.940
And many couples play with it simply as an occasional role play activity.

00:33:31.819 --> 00:33:33.200
I think that's great.

00:33:33.980 --> 00:33:38.579
I love when people figure out ways to spice up their their life, to spice up their relationship.

00:33:39.099 --> 00:33:42.019
And if you have a solid foundation and open communication.

00:33:43.299 --> 00:33:44.640
You can really do I mean.

00:33:45.559 --> 00:33:46.940
The world is your playground.

00:33:48.759 --> 00:33:53.240
And I don't know that there really isn't anything I wouldn't try with my subbie.

00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:56.859
I'm comfortable enough with him that I would try anything once.

00:33:56.900 --> 00:34:01.220
And if it was an epic failure, we would laugh together about it probably for a long time.

00:34:01.720 --> 00:34:12.300
But I can't imagine being in a relationship because I was in one where I wasn't comfortable talking about like when I was married to my ex-husband.

00:34:12.659 --> 00:34:15.840
I never would have been open about masturbating.

00:34:16.179 --> 00:34:19.800
I would have been embarrassed and like, oh, I don't do that.

00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:21.960
Oh, fuck. Yes, I do.

00:34:22.500 --> 00:34:24.079
As we don't have sex, though.

00:34:24.219 --> 00:34:24.980
I do a lot.

00:34:27.139 --> 00:34:28.300
I just I can't.

00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:33.119
I get anxiety about even thinking about being in a relationship like that.

00:34:33.820 --> 00:34:36.800
You should always be able to be open and honest with your partner.

00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:45.719
And listen, partners, if your significant other comes to you and says, hey, I'd really like to give this a try and you are absolutely not into it.

00:34:46.139 --> 00:34:48.300
Don't feel like you have to be guilted into it.

00:34:48.420 --> 00:34:51.079
If it's not something you're into, then be honest.

00:34:52.460 --> 00:34:54.199
Relationships are a two way street, man.

00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:56.880
Did that make sense?

00:34:56.880 --> 00:34:58.800
Are relationships a two way street?

00:34:59.179 --> 00:35:00.199
I mean, it's not one way.

00:35:00.460 --> 00:35:01.519
Can't just do it one way.

00:35:01.579 --> 00:35:02.420
And that's the only way.

00:35:02.619 --> 00:35:02.840
Right.

00:35:05.199 --> 00:35:10.840
But for others, they view it as a new lifestyle relationship change and enjoy it together.

00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.619
Couples in this category see it as not.

00:35:14.099 --> 00:35:19.219
See it not as optional, but as a very important and necessary part of their relationship.

00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:26.039
They embrace the advantages listed above and like the ongoing sexual tension and mystery in the relationship.

00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:29.960
Hmm.

00:35:33.050 --> 00:35:35.269
I guess I've never really sat down and thought about.

00:35:36.090 --> 00:35:37.570
I mean, this is just our life.

00:35:37.829 --> 00:35:38.769
This is how we live.

00:35:38.869 --> 00:35:39.769
He's locked.

00:35:39.889 --> 00:35:41.210
I wear the key around my neck.

00:35:43.010 --> 00:35:44.269
It's just our life.

00:35:45.650 --> 00:35:48.710
Maybe we've been doing it long enough that I just don't.

00:35:52.250 --> 00:35:57.389
I think our relationship has a lot to do with the dom-sub dynamic.

00:35:58.650 --> 00:36:03.309
I'd be interested, again, males who are in chastity in a relationship.

00:36:04.329 --> 00:36:06.510
Let me know why you do it.

00:36:06.650 --> 00:36:09.050
What is it about it that you enjoy?

00:36:09.550 --> 00:36:10.909
It'd be fascinated to hear.

00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:26.719
The bottom line is if it works for the two of you, whether it's roleplay activity or lifestyle change and is fun for both, then there are then there are obvious benefits for the two of you.

00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:35.480
The important thing to remember is it is still important, necessary and natural for a guy to orgasm.

00:36:35.500 --> 00:36:41.400
So it's best to keep that in mind, whether you view this as a part-time roleplay activity or a lifestyle change.

00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:50.800
Another question, too, then, if you are in chastity, how long do you go without an orgasm?

00:36:52.179 --> 00:36:53.960
What's the longest you've gone?

00:36:55.480 --> 00:37:03.420
And in your guys' opinion, what is a healthy time span to go without an orgasm?

00:37:03.860 --> 00:37:05.840
Like, should you come one time a day?

00:37:10.530 --> 00:37:13.230
What's a healthy amount of orgasm?

00:37:14.090 --> 00:37:15.150
I mean, in my world.

00:37:16.730 --> 00:37:17.530
Every day.

00:37:18.849 --> 00:37:20.630
For my subbie, probably not so much.

00:37:24.219 --> 00:37:25.380
Here's some questions.

00:37:25.820 --> 00:37:27.579
I'll be interested in getting some feedback.

00:37:28.539 --> 00:37:30.139
It's for both men and women.

00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:32.320
They have five questions on their website.

00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:35.179
Do you do you engage in male chastity?

00:37:35.420 --> 00:37:39.039
If you do, is it a part-time roleplay activity or a lifestyle change?

00:37:39.300 --> 00:37:44.599
And if you do, what's the most important benefit for you and If you do engage in it, what do you perceive to be the most important benefit or benefits for you and your partner?

00:37:45.320 --> 00:37:47.800
If you don't currently engage in it, would you like to?

00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:53.300
And do you believe that there is a correlation between the desire for male chastity and penis size?

00:37:53.579 --> 00:37:55.860
Or do you think there is no correlation at all?

00:37:58.170 --> 00:37:59.510
I mean, I could answer these for me.

00:37:59.829 --> 00:38:02.130
I don't engage in it, but my submissive does.

00:38:02.809 --> 00:38:04.510
And it is a lifestyle change.

00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:14.460
The most important benefit for me and my partner is it makes us feel more it makes me feel more connected to him. And it makes him more attentive to me.

00:38:14.539 --> 00:38:17.380
And like I've said before, he's very attentive to me.

00:38:17.460 --> 00:38:20.039
It's just very enhanced when it's locked up.

00:38:22.269 --> 00:38:23.690
We currently engage in it.

00:38:23.809 --> 00:38:25.769
So, yes, we would like to and continue to.

00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:29.710
I believe there is a certain group of men.

00:38:31.230 --> 00:38:37.030
Who participate in chastity because they feel like their penis is small and worthless.

00:38:37.750 --> 00:38:39.969
It's almost like a type of kink play.

00:38:42.460 --> 00:38:51.780
I have interacted with a couple who do it because they feel that it's worthless and they get off on the humiliation of being told that their penis is worthless.

00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:54.320
It might as well be locked up and never used again.

00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:56.599
But I have seen.

00:38:57.820 --> 00:39:00.860
Some pretty big men lock their dicks in cages.

00:39:01.400 --> 00:39:04.760
So I don't think it's specifically based on size.

00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:06.960
I think it's specifically based on the man.

00:39:07.559 --> 00:39:08.019
I mean.

00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:12.179
I don't think there is any correlation with size at all.

00:39:12.460 --> 00:39:14.559
I think it is a man's preference.

00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:16.079
If he's into it, he's into it.

00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:19.719
I don't think his dick size has any any determination.

00:39:19.900 --> 00:39:21.599
Determining factor in his decision.

00:39:23.380 --> 00:39:26.659
But I'm not a man, I don't have a dick, at least not a real one.

00:39:26.840 --> 00:39:28.300
So I don't know.

00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:31.960
My whole purpose of this podcast was just kind of to get.

00:39:32.179 --> 00:39:34.539
I would love to hear your feelings on chastity.

00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:38.980
Kind of talk about why I found that men and women love chastity.

00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:42.219
In summation, it seems to be.

00:39:43.900 --> 00:39:47.760
The orgasm denial and the thrill of the orgasm denial.

00:39:48.539 --> 00:39:52.400
For me, it's the appearance of his dick in that cage.

00:39:52.500 --> 00:39:53.719
It is so fucking hot.

00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:58.280
And the power that I feel when it's locked up.

00:39:58.340 --> 00:39:59.960
And I have this key around my neck.

00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:04.099
As well as his attentiveness to me.

00:40:05.059 --> 00:40:10.360
As always, strong foundation and excellent communication before participating in anything lifestyle.

00:40:12.380 --> 00:40:13.500
Whether it's.

00:40:13.739 --> 00:40:14.300
Pegging.

00:40:15.739 --> 00:40:16.300
Chastity.

00:40:16.920 --> 00:40:17.980
Female led relationship.

00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:18.840
Swinging.

00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:22.440
Communication is a necessity.

00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:25.980
I'm going to wrap this up for now.

00:40:27.699 --> 00:40:34.179
Next week, I think we're going to revisit spanking because I have a fantastic article that I want to take a look at.

00:40:35.480 --> 00:40:37.760
But I'm not 100 percent sold on that.

00:40:38.059 --> 00:40:43.039
If anybody has any ideas for next week's episode, hit me up patrons.

00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:44.139
Any ideas?

00:40:44.420 --> 00:40:45.480
What would you like to hear about?

00:40:48.599 --> 00:40:51.480
I hope everyone has a fantastic week.

00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:58.000
I don't know where you're located, but it is humid as shit where I am. I hope it cools down just a hair.

00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:01.960
But I hope everything is well with you and yours.

00:41:02.119 --> 00:41:03.599
I hope everybody has a good week.

00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:06.860
Be good human beings and we will chat soon.

00:41:07.260 --> 00:41:08.159
Love you all.