0140 Female Led Relationships: How to Try Pegging Without Shame, Panic, or Pulling a Hamstring

WEBVTT

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You can see my computer right now.

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There's a big picture of a dick on it.

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It's fantastic.

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This podcast is intended for mature audiences only.

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If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18.

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This podcast is meant solely for entertainment.

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We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists.

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We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.

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♪♪♪Welcome back.

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This week, we are going to revisit my favorite subject, Pegging. But first, let's address some housekeeping issues, shall we?

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Flying by the seat of my pants here.

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I did respond to some emails. I do have some ideas for guests in the pipeline.

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I have some good ideas for upcoming episodes that I think everybody will enjoy.

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I'm revisiting pegging because I keep getting comments on how people don't want to peg because it makes them gay.

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We're going to talk about that a little bit. Plus, pegging is just fantastic.

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So, that's not really a housekeeping issue, but you should probably have a sip of water.

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I've been doing some recording this morning.

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Camper work is in full swing, so we're still working on that.

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And we've realized that we now have right around 365 days until we are fully mobile, full-time.

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I don't know that I necessarily have any other housekeeping issues other than I appreciate everybody that stays tuned and hangs in there and comes back every week.

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You guys are fucking amazing.

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But let's delve into pegging, shall we?

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So, I found a couple of articles from Men's Health.

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And one is, 6 Men Reveal Why They Love Getting Pegged During Sex.

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And the other one I found is, let me scroll up here, 14 Women Reveal Why Pegging Men Turns Them On.

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I will put both of these links to these articles in the show notes.

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I'm going to read about men first and why they love getting pegged during sex.

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I'll read you some of the comments and then give you my opinions, because that's what I do.

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I mean, the article really starts out pretty fantastic.

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The first paragraph says, My ex-girlfriend used to shove a vibrating 7-inch dildo up my ass while she blew me.

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Quickly, this evolved into full-on pegging, i.e. penetrating me with a strap-on dildo.

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She said I looked like I was having an exorcism when I finally came.

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My eyes would roll to the back of my head.

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I'd start involuntarily convulsing.

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It felt incredible.

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When I came with the dildo inside me from getting pegged, or if she was just using it manually, my orgasms weren't localized to my genitalia.

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I'd get a lightning sensation from my head to my toes, more similar, I'd imagine, to how a woman experiences orgasms.

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It just really makes you want to do it, doesn't it?

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That sounds fantastic.

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And this is the common response, I think.

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The next paragraph says, When I told my friends they were flabbergasted, saying they'd never let their girlfriends tear up their backside and or peg them.

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Call me selfish, but I'm going to do what feels the most pleasurable during sex.

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Having something in my behind, massaging my pleasure-centric prostate, is how I have the most intense orgasms.

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So by God, there's going to be something up my ass.

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Seems to be a common response.

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Most men are not anywhere near being comfortable enough with their selves or whatever.

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Just being comfortable enough with their partner, sex in general, to experience that.

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Just imagine how many things you're missing out on, because you're not comfortable with your own body or your partner, to explore new things.

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Interesting.

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I do like this, though.

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I'm not alone in my desire to experience the most pleasure possible.

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Plenty of other men are asking their female partners to peg them.

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They recognize in 2020, we can have any type of sex we damn well please.

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Amen.

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Many men like getting pegged, because anal play can stimulate the prostate gland located between the bladder and rectum.

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In case anybody didn't know.

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This gland is very sensitive, and when stimulated in the right way, it can feel really pleasurable, even resulting in an orgasm.

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Some men like getting pegged, because there is a taboo around it.

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Additionally, some men like the feeling of receiving sexually, i.e. being filled.

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The vulnerability it requires, or the feeling of being submissive, if there is a power exchange involved.

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That's a pretty powerful paragraph right there.

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I always say, take the sex out of it.

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For just a second.

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Which is real hard to do with pegging, because it's basically sex.

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But, focus on the emotions around it.

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My emotions.

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My subbie's emotions.

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It's just a fantastic experience.

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Like, I feel like everybody should try it just once.

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And I know there's a lot that is involved.

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I mean, I was in my own head a whole bunch before I tried it.

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But I'll tell you, the second that thing, the second I strapped that dildo on, game over, I was hooked.

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I love it.

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It's real hard for me to accomplish it these days, because of my household.

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However, it is probably one of my most favorite things to do.

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Mm. It's fantastic.

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Ooh, and here's the paragraph.

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When many men discover they enjoy anal play, they fear that this could be an indicator that they are gay or bi.

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But this simply isn't true.

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Enjoying being penetrated just means that you enjoy being penetrated.

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It has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

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And why does it matter if you are gay or bi?

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Who cares? Be you.

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And be kind.

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Easy as that, in my opinion.

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Okay, so this is where they spoke to six men.

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About...

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Ooh, that was very Minnesota, wasn't it?

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A boot?

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They spoke to six men about why they liked being pegged.

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The first one is Phillip. He's 29.

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Been pegged roughly 30 times by three different women.

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He likes everything about being pegged.

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The sensation, the stretch of accepting the dildo, the rhythmic pressure massage to the prostate, the role reversal power play aspects, the amazing orgasms, and the look of extreme joy on his partner's face.

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I will say, the few times that we have been able to actually accomplish a pegging session, my subbie does not finish that way.

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It's a pretty intense feeling, but he doesn't finish that way.

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The next question is, how does it differ from more traditional sex?

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A lot of ways.

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Perhaps, most importantly, none of my pegging partners have orgasmed directly from pegging me.

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Let me insert a little side note.

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The very first time I ever pegged my subbie, I had the most intense orgasm I think I've ever had in my entire life.

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But I orgasm a little differently than most I think.

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Okay, back on task.

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Second, the dildo is not an organ.

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It will never replace the amazing feeling that comes from having traditional sex with women.

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I feel like that was put in there just because he didn't want people to think he was bi.

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I don't understand why that matters.

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It's really puzzling to me.

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He says I also enjoy giving her an orgasm, which is why I believe pegging is just one component of a healthy sex life.

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Oh, here's a good one.

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How do women typically respond when you ask them to peg you?

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He says my experiences have run the gamut.

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My worst experiences was when I unintentionally voiced my interest in being pegged to coworkers in the military.

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Oof. Suffice to say, it did not go very well.

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Second, it took me a while to voice my desire to get pegged by my ex-wife, and I eventually realized she had no interest.

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On the other hand, my two most recent partners have been very open to it for their own desire.

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For myself, I know that pegging is a vital component of my sexual expression.

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Without it, I can't see myself dating someone long-term.

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That's interesting.

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And props to you for knowing what you want and not...

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What's the word I'm looking for?

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Knowing what you want and not sacrificing what you want to be with someone.

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I don't know if that's exactly what I mean, but anyway.

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Okay.

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The next one is John, who's 35.

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Our other one, Phillip, was 29.

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So we're moving up in the age range.

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I like his answer.

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What is it that you like about being pegged?

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His first response, a whole lot.

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Better orgasms.

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Oh, I would say the difference between a normal intercourse orgasm and one from pegging is three times.

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I can get a full-body orgasm and occasionally multiple ones.

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I feel like the kind of orgasm is...

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I feel like...

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I feel...

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Oh, Jesus.

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Let me see if I can do this.

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It feels kind of like an orgasm is blocked off somewhere near the perineum and then spills over in my tiny bits until it explodes into one big one.

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Ew.

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Take that out, Brian.

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I don't like that.

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So John likes to be filled, or he likes how it feels to be filled.

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It's much more emotionally intense.

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I agree with that.

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He says, I'm not sure if it has something to do with emotions being allegedly connected to the intestine, but it feels like I'm getting my feelings fucked, and in the best possible way.

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And lastly, it's simply nice to not be the active partner for a change.

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90% of my sex is still pretty classic where I control the action, so variety is definitely a factor here.

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Interesting.

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I really like that I'm getting my feelings fucked.

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That's interesting.

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Let's see.

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How else would you say it differs from more traditional sex?

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He says he would argue that it doesn't.

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He thinks pegging needs to be freed from its connotations with degradation and dominance play.

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Pegging can be rough and domineering, but it can also be loving and sensual.

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I agree with that 100%.

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Take the whips and chains out and just look at it for the emotion and the act.

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The only difference is that people need to be okay with ignoring gender-based ideas of what right sex is.

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If you like pleasure, you'll like pegging.

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Simple as that.

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This guy's speaking my language.

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I don't like labels.

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I feel like I haven't said that in a while, so just to remind everybody, I don't fucking like labels.

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I don't understand why if you like having something in your butt, it makes you feel like you're gay.

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What does that have to do with anything?

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So because I put my finger in my vagina, does that mean I'm a lesbian?

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I can't understand the connection, and maybe it's just me.

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And who fucking cares if you do like guys and girls?

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How about we just take away all of that and just fucking look at the person?

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Hey, I like you as a fucking person, and I'm kind of attracted to you.

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Let's see where this goes.

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Why does it?

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Ugh, anyway, that's a whole different topic.

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We could go down that rat hole for days.

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The next one is Simon, who is 36, been pegged about 15 times by one woman.

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I like his answer.

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What is it that you liked about being pegged?

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I love the intimacy and the openness it provides for myself and my wife.

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It allows a different power dynamic where she gets to be in control of our pleasure.

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Yes, Simon, you are absolutely correct.

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That is probably the one thing that I noticed after I put the strap on on and felt like Superwoman.

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How intimate and gentle, really, my first time pegging was.

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Now listen, it's going to be awkward.

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Anybody out there listening, ladies, men, whatever, you can do your research on how to prepare, but just know it's going to be fucking awkward the first time.

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Take it slow. Don't get embarrassed.

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If you and your partner are comfortable with each other, I mean, anything embarrassing happens, you can pretty much laugh it off.

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I would think, I mean, I would.

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I'm extremely comfortable with my partner, though, so.

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How does it differ from more traditional sex?

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For me, I get really good feels off the prostate massage and a much deeper and intense orgasm.

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That seems to be the common theme.

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What was your wife's response when you asked her to peg you?

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It took my wife six years to come around to the idea.

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Now she really enjoys it, but it was a long time coming.

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It's such a freeing feeling to come clean to the woman I have shared all of my adult life with.

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We have been together for 19 years, married for 16, and pegging for just a few months.

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I've desired it for about the last decade.

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Finally, my opinion on his relationship with his wife is it is probably rock solid.

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Props to him for having the balls to come out and say it instead of hiding it.

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I think, again, let's get derailed from the topic.

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In this lifestyle, I think the biggest thing is is people aren't comfortable to tell their partners what they really want because there's such a fucking stigma attached to doing things that are outside the box.

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I mean, imagine how boring life would be if you just had to have missionary sex all the fucking time.

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How fucking boring would that be? I would never come, ever.

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It's just crazy to me.

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Like, why can't you just try the things you want to try if everybody's consenting?

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Make your sex life whatever you want it to be.

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Who cares what anybody else thinks?

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If you don't think people are going to approve, don't fucking tell them.

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If you care about their approval, don't fucking talk to them about it.

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Okay, again, we got derailed there a little bit.

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We have Charles, who's 34.

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He's been pegged roughly 10 times by three different women.

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What did he like about it?

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It feels great. He enjoys being submissive.

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He enjoys the thought of feeling what it's like to be a woman.

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That's an interesting perspective.

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Just like when a woman gets wet, men do too.

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I would ride a woman that has the right dildo or strap on, and it makes me pre-cum a lot.

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With every thrust, I feel an orgasm brewing, and eventually I do climax.

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Hmm, I wonder if maybe that was the issue, or that is our issue, when we do actually get the time to participate in some pegging.

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I'm out of shape.

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Listen, guys, I have all the appreciation in the world for you.

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It's a lot of fucking work.

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Man, I found stomach muscles the next day that I didn't even know I had that were so fucking sore.

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You guys are rock stars.

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How does it differ from more traditional sex?

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It's totally different. You are not the one with the power.

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Having a female tell me how she's going to penetrate me turns me on.

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Yeah, that's pretty fucking hot.

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I agree with Charles on that one.

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I just like being in control, though.

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How do women respond when you ask them to peg you?

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I've never actually brought it up to a woman.

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I let them do it.

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I first found someone at a pegging class.

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They have pegging classes? Interesting.

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I also met a woman in a chat about it.

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The other woman was her friend.

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I will tell you that the three women I've been with really get off on it and are very much into it.

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There's also one woman who even climaxes while she pegs me.

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Oh, her and I might be one in the same.

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Okay, I'm only going to do a couple more.

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Then we're going to move on to why do women like it?

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I mean, I know why I like it.

00:18:55.240 --> 00:18:56.539
This is a short one.

00:18:57.380 --> 00:18:59.099
I think it's Dominus.

00:18:59.500 --> 00:19:03.140
I don't know if I pronounced that right. Real sorry if I didn't.

00:19:03.299 --> 00:19:05.460
Ben pegged lots.

00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:11.940
50 times in the past year alone by three women and one gender non-conforming individual.

00:19:12.900 --> 00:19:18.200
Teaches a pegging 101 class for Pagan's Paradise.

00:19:22.470 --> 00:19:24.750
What is it that you like about pegging?

00:19:25.430 --> 00:19:28.630
As a penis owner, it allows me to feel pleasure internally.

00:19:29.170 --> 00:19:31.950
I feel more in tune with my prostate as well.

00:19:33.049 --> 00:19:35.309
As a penis owner, that's my favorite.

00:19:35.990 --> 00:19:38.529
I'm a penis owner too, it's just not attached to me.

00:19:39.630 --> 00:19:42.529
How does it differ from more traditional sex?

00:19:42.529 --> 00:19:45.009
He says, for me, it doesn't.

00:19:45.509 --> 00:19:49.130
I feel sex requires both vulnerability and generosity at the same time.

00:19:49.670 --> 00:19:56.730
Energy and power dynamics can exchange regardless of who is being penetrated in terms of who feels like the person in charge.

00:19:57.509 --> 00:19:59.470
I have for sure topped from the bottom.

00:20:00.009 --> 00:20:05.289
Sex should also be about mutual pleasure, which this act is.

00:20:05.710 --> 00:20:07.730
It simply uses different tools.

00:20:09.470 --> 00:20:09.950
Interesting.

00:20:10.990 --> 00:20:14.210
So it appears that most of these men are in their 30s.

00:20:15.750 --> 00:20:28.549
My thoughts on that is I think if I would have met my husband any earlier in my life, we probably would not be going down this road because I don't think I would have been open-minded enough.

00:20:29.329 --> 00:20:39.589
I hit my 30s and I kind of was like, I don't really care much what other people think but I really still cared more than I should have about what other people thought.

00:20:40.509 --> 00:20:45.009
Man, my 40s are seriously my I don't give a fuck 40.

00:20:46.730 --> 00:20:53.250
We just had this discussion about people finding out about my podcast or friends, family, whatever.

00:20:54.170 --> 00:21:02.410
I was a little nervous in the beginning and I think I talked about it in a beginning few episodes or the fact that I do erotic voiceover work, things like that.

00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:09.329
Well, one of my best friend's sisters wanted to order some essential oils for me, right?

00:21:09.750 --> 00:21:10.910
She needed a Venmo.

00:21:11.309 --> 00:21:13.130
Well, the only one I have is for this.

00:21:17.230 --> 00:21:23.990
I didn't, I don't know, at first I was like she leads a very different lifestyle than me.

00:21:24.230 --> 00:21:25.829
Very, very different lifestyle than me.

00:21:28.670 --> 00:21:32.750
And at first I was kind of nervous because I was like, what if she judges me?

00:21:33.650 --> 00:21:35.769
And then it was like it just came to me.

00:21:36.609 --> 00:21:38.609
Fuck it, I don't really care.

00:21:39.130 --> 00:21:40.789
Listen, I do erotic voiceover.

00:21:41.730 --> 00:21:43.230
I bring men joy.

00:21:44.269 --> 00:21:48.170
Maybe that man is lonely, maybe he doesn't have a female in his life.

00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:50.630
I'm bringing him joy.

00:21:50.869 --> 00:21:54.329
I'm releasing good endorphins in his brain if he's jerking off to what I have to say.

00:21:55.109 --> 00:21:56.369
That brings me happiness.

00:21:56.849 --> 00:21:58.049
I like to help other people.

00:21:58.049 --> 00:22:01.029
That's how I'm going to look at it and I'm not ashamed of it.

00:22:01.130 --> 00:22:03.730
And if people want to call me names, so be it.

00:22:03.849 --> 00:22:05.869
I'll sleep fine at night. I don't care.

00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:10.630
My 40s have been quite, just really my fuck it 40s.

00:22:10.930 --> 00:22:12.269
It's been pretty crazy.

00:22:12.829 --> 00:22:21.630
Now I have my days just like everybody else where I get down on myself or beg myself because I feel like a fat ass some days.

00:22:22.190 --> 00:22:25.769
Usually Shark Week is impending when that stuff happens.

00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:32.589
But I'm a work in progress and at 42, I think I'm 42.

00:22:33.269 --> 00:22:34.190
Yes, I'm 42.

00:22:34.890 --> 00:22:39.450
I'm pretty happy with where I'm at and I'm pretty happy with my body.

00:22:40.349 --> 00:22:42.029
It's a little bitchy these days.

00:22:42.190 --> 00:22:48.869
I think if I maybe exercised more I would feel better but I'm pretty happy with where I'm at to be honest.

00:22:49.390 --> 00:22:54.109
As you all should be too because you only get one life.

00:22:54.250 --> 00:22:56.690
Fuck and enjoy it and who gives a shit what other people think.

00:22:57.069 --> 00:22:57.829
That's my thought.

00:22:58.750 --> 00:23:00.430
Okay, again we derailed.

00:23:06.180 --> 00:23:12.839
We are going to move on to it's 14 women reveal why pegging men turns them on.

00:23:13.099 --> 00:23:15.700
This is also a men's health article.

00:23:16.900 --> 00:23:25.640
Okay, so this one starts out with it makes a lot of sense that some men like being pegged aka having a woman enter them using a strap on dildo.

00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:28.140
I think we're all on board with what pegging means.

00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:37.000
Guys have a prostate commonly known as the male g-spot which is a walnut sized gland 2 to 3 inches inside the anus.

00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:44.680
The prostate is full of nerve endings and the right kind of stimulation can lead to powerful full body orgasms.

00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:52.799
Enjoying prostate stimulation has nothing to do with being straight, gay or bisexual. It's simple human anatomy.

00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:54.539
Fuck yes.

00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:57.380
That's amazing. Exactly true.

00:23:58.460 --> 00:24:01.039
But why do women like pegging men?

00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:03.400
What do they get out of it?

00:24:03.859 --> 00:24:07.160
They're not experiencing any internal or clitoral stimulation.

00:24:07.539 --> 00:24:12.180
So unless they're using a toy at the same time which let me tell you these double-headed things.

00:24:12.420 --> 00:24:19.299
I don't know if my vagina is built differently or what but the double-headed dildos just don't work for me.

00:24:19.779 --> 00:24:25.079
Man, if somebody has some tips out there, hit me up because it seems like it would be fantastic.

00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:30.579
I don't know if I would orgasm that way though and it's all about me, right?

00:24:31.359 --> 00:24:38.740
Okay, it's unlikely that they'll orgasm through pegging a man which I have but back on track.

00:24:39.579 --> 00:24:41.640
Besides, how does one even get into pegging?

00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:43.440
Do they just ask their boyfriends?

00:24:43.940 --> 00:24:45.759
You know how you like sticking it in me?

00:24:46.039 --> 00:24:47.619
Well, I think it's time I stick it in you.

00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:52.039
I mean, that seems like a great way to propose it. Maybe not.

00:24:54.619 --> 00:25:05.099
Okay, so there's 14 women and the age range for the women is significantly more wide open than it was for the men.

00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:12.759
I mean, we have 20, 28, 44, 27, 41.

00:25:13.220 --> 00:25:15.680
41 is a good age. Oh wait, I'm 42.

00:25:15.900 --> 00:25:17.039
42 is a good age too.

00:25:18.619 --> 00:25:22.599
What was your first pegging experience like?

00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:26.599
Oh, this one.

00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.339
So Rose, let's see how old Rose is.

00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:30.299
Rose is 44.

00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:33.799
My boyfriend expressed an interest in wanting to be pegged.

00:25:33.980 --> 00:25:38.940
I was very supportive but also intimidated because I don't have a lot of experience with ass play on men.

00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:41.880
But I went ahead and bought a 5 inch strap on.

00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:44.619
It felt really strange to wear the dildo.

00:25:45.019 --> 00:25:46.339
Okay, I'm going to take a time out right here.

00:25:47.259 --> 00:25:50.900
I did not experience that, I'm telling you, which I've mentioned.

00:25:51.700 --> 00:25:53.019
But it was pretty exhilarating.

00:25:53.700 --> 00:25:55.339
The second I put that thing on.

00:25:55.579 --> 00:25:57.799
But I've always thought it'd be so fun to have a dick.

00:25:58.099 --> 00:26:01.380
Like, I think if I had a dick I would never leave my house. Ever.

00:26:02.579 --> 00:26:03.559
It'd be fun.

00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:08.640
Anyway, the second I put that on, I felt so powerful.

00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:10.759
Strange.

00:26:11.880 --> 00:26:20.039
Anyway, she felt awkward with this purple appendage protruding from her pelvis pointed at her boyfriend's poised ass.

00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:27.559
Once the dildo was inside, I checked in on him to make sure I wasn't hurting him and he replied, Are you all the way in?

00:26:27.559 --> 00:26:33.339
After I began thrusting, he said, I don't think this is working. It's not big enough.

00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:35.920
Props to him for being honest.

00:26:36.819 --> 00:26:39.579
But that's interesting that 5 inches was not enough.

00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:42.720
Amber, how old is Amber?

00:26:43.160 --> 00:26:43.980
Amber's 32.

00:26:45.259 --> 00:26:49.440
She said her first pegging experience was both intimidating and exhilarating.

00:26:50.059 --> 00:26:51.220
I can relate to that.

00:26:52.099 --> 00:26:55.599
It was with a longtime sexual partner who knew he really wanted it.

00:26:55.599 --> 00:27:04.240
I was so apprehensive because I didn't understand what pleasure I would get out of it and I was super nervous because I'm typically a more submissive partner.

00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:10.240
He finished after two quick pumps, but the power I felt in those few seconds rocked my world.

00:27:11.779 --> 00:27:13.299
Right on, Amber. I'm with ya.

00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:26.299
And listen, ladies, if this is something you're into and you are nervous about talking to your partner about it, maybe just lead them to this article.

00:27:27.160 --> 00:27:32.359
Sometimes it's easier to accept something if a third party says it.

00:27:33.220 --> 00:27:37.920
There's just such a stigma attached to this and I don't understand.

00:27:38.380 --> 00:27:41.180
So many things about this world I don't understand.

00:27:43.609 --> 00:27:45.589
Ooh, I think it's Kellen.

00:27:46.109 --> 00:27:48.869
I don't know if that's how you pronounce it.

00:27:49.930 --> 00:27:51.309
But Kellen is 20.

00:27:52.650 --> 00:27:54.890
Props to her for getting into it at that age.

00:27:55.289 --> 00:27:59.710
I don't know if I would have been open to that in my small-town brain.

00:28:00.910 --> 00:28:07.170
My first pegging experience was one of the most intimate sexual experiences I've ever had.

00:28:07.430 --> 00:28:14.890
It was with a close friend slash lover and we'd been talking about trying it for a few weeks and I felt completely comfortable and open with him.

00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:23.789
After a couple glasses of wine, I put on the sexy leather harness and black dildo along with a Victoria's Secret corset top.

00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:26.190
I don't think I've ever felt sexier.

00:28:27.329 --> 00:28:28.650
I can relate to that.

00:28:29.190 --> 00:28:30.630
There's just something about it.

00:28:33.319 --> 00:28:38.900
And I think if you're going to give pegging a try, it absolutely needs to be with somebody that you're comfortable with.

00:28:38.980 --> 00:28:42.920
But even if you're comfortable with somebody, it will be awkward.

00:28:44.460 --> 00:28:48.660
Just take your time and don't get in your own head.

00:28:49.500 --> 00:28:51.259
That's my biggest advice.

00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:53.700
Oh, Ashley.

00:28:54.299 --> 00:29:07.839
My first pegging experience was actually with one of my sex educator colleagues, which was great because he was very clear in his requests and offered me tips, including the importance of using lots of lube.

00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.880
That's also another fantastic point.

00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:12.559
Communication is key.

00:29:13.420 --> 00:29:19.759
Things that you maybe don't want to talk about in the moment, you should probably address.

00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:26.819
Don't try to hide something or hold something in for that matter.

00:29:27.500 --> 00:29:30.160
And again, there's ways you can prepare for this.

00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:34.460
I think the biggest fear everybody has is getting pooped on.

00:29:35.140 --> 00:29:36.960
And listen, it might happen anyway.

00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:40.000
No matter how much you prepare, you might get shit on anyway.

00:29:41.180 --> 00:29:43.259
Probably not, but...

00:29:44.569 --> 00:29:49.009
Lola. It was very communicative, sweet, and slow.

00:29:49.369 --> 00:29:52.250
I was more concerned about his experience than my own.

00:29:52.950 --> 00:29:56.150
The dildo slipped out of his butt a lot without realizing it, though.

00:29:56.690 --> 00:29:59.529
It was quite frustrating because we had to keep starting and stopping.

00:30:00.710 --> 00:30:03.710
I think that's probably more common than most people will admit.

00:30:03.710 --> 00:30:05.750
I think you just have to find your rhythm.

00:30:05.990 --> 00:30:09.210
It's really no different than having...

00:30:10.089 --> 00:30:11.970
normal... stupid word... sex.

00:30:12.630 --> 00:30:14.549
Don't get frustrated. Don't give up.

00:30:16.609 --> 00:30:17.650
Let's see...

00:30:17.650 --> 00:30:19.470
Why did you decide to try it?

00:30:22.329 --> 00:30:30.130
Rose. Aside from my boyfriend wanting it and my wanting to please him, I really wanted to know what it was like to fuck someone.

00:30:30.130 --> 00:30:40.130
I've always been a sub and don't really have any dumb energy in the bedroom, but I was curious to know what it feels like to feel what the men who fuck me feel.

00:30:41.230 --> 00:30:58.029
I will say, though, if this is something that your partner wants and you just really aren't on board with it, you should never do anything that you really don't want to do just because your partner wants you to.

00:30:59.269 --> 00:31:03.769
However, if you...

00:31:03.769 --> 00:31:15.309
don't want to do it just because of the way the world views it or because of something somebody said, I feel like you should do more research.

00:31:15.630 --> 00:31:20.849
Really understand what it is about the act itself that makes you not want to do it.

00:31:21.410 --> 00:31:25.609
Is it that programming that says, this is wrong, this is gross, this is taboo?

00:31:26.329 --> 00:31:27.809
I shouldn't be doing this?

00:31:28.549 --> 00:31:32.630
Or is it really something that you just are not turned on by?

00:31:33.470 --> 00:31:42.029
I mean, there's things that I've done that you would have asked me 10 years ago and I would have been like, fuck no, I would never do that. That's disgusting.

00:31:42.190 --> 00:31:43.089
Why would you ever do that?

00:31:44.430 --> 00:31:46.349
I was lying to myself, man.

00:31:47.049 --> 00:31:49.349
Some of that stuff turns me on more than...

00:31:51.309 --> 00:31:52.890
I can't even tell you.

00:31:53.650 --> 00:31:54.549
It's fucking hot.

00:31:56.769 --> 00:32:10.470
I think the biggest thing is me being comfortable in my own skin, in my own body, what I like, what I don't like, understanding why I don't like it and moving on from it.

00:32:10.890 --> 00:32:13.849
But there's really nothing.

00:32:13.849 --> 00:32:17.130
For instance, I don't like things in my butt.

00:32:18.109 --> 00:32:19.029
I've done it.

00:32:19.829 --> 00:32:21.190
I think I've had the wrong partners.

00:32:21.670 --> 00:32:28.529
I'm not opposed to trying it again, but I really need to evaluate and I really need to be with the right person.

00:32:28.609 --> 00:32:30.569
I would absolutely try it with my subbie.

00:32:31.029 --> 00:32:34.289
I just have to get over how I feel about it.

00:32:34.450 --> 00:32:41.349
I have to get past the initial stages of the actual act and I have a hard time relaxing with that.

00:32:41.849 --> 00:32:43.890
Some women love it and I just can't.

00:32:43.970 --> 00:32:48.569
I think I would like it if I could get past the initial stages and be able to relax.

00:32:49.470 --> 00:32:51.329
You're finding out a whole bunch about me today.

00:32:52.549 --> 00:32:54.589
Good times. This is going to be a long episode.

00:32:55.609 --> 00:32:56.549
I feel like I owe you.

00:32:58.069 --> 00:32:58.630
Me too.

00:33:01.430 --> 00:33:10.950
Honestly, the best thing about the whole experience was that my boyfriend felt comfortable enough with me to tell me he wanted it.

00:33:11.289 --> 00:33:13.430
It showed how much he trusts me.

00:33:13.849 --> 00:33:16.670
I also enjoyed the sense of control and power.

00:33:17.210 --> 00:33:21.690
I love this, that whole paragraph right there that Rose said.

00:33:23.190 --> 00:33:29.950
Because I just love when people actually take the act of it out and focus on how it makes them feel.

00:33:30.769 --> 00:33:32.329
I think that's so important.

00:33:34.349 --> 00:33:44.390
The first time I did it, it was a little awkward, but the emotion, the connection, the communication, the power I felt was amazing.

00:33:45.430 --> 00:33:58.609
I think when people are doing things, if they could just get out of their own head, be in the moment with how they're feeling and not be focused on, Oh my God, what would my best friend say if she found out I was doing this?

00:33:58.710 --> 00:34:00.410
Or, Oh my God, this is so wrong.

00:34:00.410 --> 00:34:02.390
I've been told my whole life, this is so wrong.

00:34:02.470 --> 00:34:03.670
I shouldn't be doing this.

00:34:04.450 --> 00:34:05.529
Get out of the programming.

00:34:06.289 --> 00:34:08.909
Fucking enjoy what makes your body feel good.

00:34:09.050 --> 00:34:10.369
Focus on the feelings.

00:34:12.150 --> 00:34:16.730
Amber, it's the most intimate source of power I think someone can experience.

00:34:17.449 --> 00:34:20.809
Sure, you don't get the same sensation as someone with an actual cock.

00:34:21.550 --> 00:34:23.510
Man, wouldn't it be fucking awesome if you did, though?

00:34:23.510 --> 00:34:28.449
But the connection and the vulnerability felt in that position is incredible.

00:34:29.309 --> 00:34:36.329
I also noticed an immediate sexual confidence boost that I think had translated into my regular day-to-day life.

00:34:37.369 --> 00:34:38.829
I agree with that, too.

00:34:40.409 --> 00:34:40.989
Absolutely.

00:34:41.789 --> 00:34:43.349
Well said, Amber, well said.

00:34:44.630 --> 00:34:55.090
I like the pleasure that they receive, the power exchange, and the feminization of the bottom while I wear the strap.

00:34:56.909 --> 00:34:59.590
Oh, yeah, that's a good point, too.

00:35:00.750 --> 00:35:03.409
I love that it makes me feel powerful in a whole different way.

00:35:04.010 --> 00:35:12.429
I also appreciate the vulnerability it takes for my partners to ask me to penetrate them, especially given the cultural taboos.

00:35:13.590 --> 00:35:14.829
Very nice, Ashley.

00:35:15.070 --> 00:35:15.750
Well said.

00:35:16.710 --> 00:35:18.070
Mm, crystal.

00:35:18.650 --> 00:35:19.610
Honestly, everything.

00:35:20.269 --> 00:35:23.909
If I had to break it down, I would say that I enjoy how it can be deeply intimate.

00:35:24.510 --> 00:35:36.250
The male partners I have pegged have all expressed a deeper appreciation for the art and skill of receiving, and in the moment, I feel more seen, understood, and appreciated.

00:35:37.590 --> 00:35:49.389
It's easy to think, especially in straight culture, that bottoming is easy, but once you have a dick in your ass, you learn real quickly that it can require lots of emotional and physical release.

00:35:50.170 --> 00:35:54.690
In this way, I feel safer and more understood by men who have bottomed.

00:35:56.170 --> 00:35:57.929
Oh, well said, crystal.

00:35:58.929 --> 00:36:03.070
Lola, I definitely have penis envy, so wearing a cock is exciting.

00:36:03.769 --> 00:36:06.130
You and me both, girl, you and me both.

00:36:07.230 --> 00:36:12.929
I like experiencing all the aspects of sex and being the penetrator is different and fun.

00:36:13.530 --> 00:36:20.090
I also enjoy giving men a sensation that may be new to them and walking them through that experience.

00:36:20.929 --> 00:36:30.170
I think the women articulate very well what they are feeling, and I notice that it seems the women are more about the feelings.

00:36:31.090 --> 00:36:32.550
I guess the men kind of were, too.

00:36:32.550 --> 00:36:34.710
That was kind of a sexist thing of me to say.

00:36:34.929 --> 00:36:35.570
Sorry, guys.

00:36:37.090 --> 00:36:38.750
Oh, this is a good one.

00:36:39.530 --> 00:36:45.289
What's your advice for dudes who are interested in pegging but are too afraid to ask their female partners?

00:36:46.170 --> 00:36:48.670
Let's see what Wise Rose has to say.

00:36:49.590 --> 00:36:52.510
Never be afraid. It's just another fun sex act.

00:36:52.789 --> 00:36:58.150
If she's not into it, that's cool, but never be afraid to ask about pegging or anything else.

00:36:59.150 --> 00:37:11.769
Open communication and trust are so important, huge, and if you and your partner don't feel comfortable discussing intimate sex acts, you are probably fucking the wrong person and should find someone else you can be yourself with.

00:37:12.269 --> 00:37:15.750
Rose, hit the nail on the head. Go, Rose.

00:37:17.550 --> 00:37:18.489
Just ask.

00:37:19.050 --> 00:37:20.289
This is what Amber says.

00:37:21.130 --> 00:37:29.070
Amber says, just ask. I've been pretty open with my friends about the experience and there are so many of them who would welcome the opportunity.

00:37:29.769 --> 00:37:43.489
I think getting over the idea of it not being a masculine desire is the first step. Pleasure is pleasure and we all deserve to explore as many ways of achieving it as possible. Ooh, Amber, right on.

00:37:44.550 --> 00:37:47.750
Like all things anal, build your way up. Yes.

00:37:48.949 --> 00:37:50.989
Take a deep breath and make a request.

00:37:52.530 --> 00:37:54.110
What does Lola say?

00:37:54.889 --> 00:38:00.070
Lola says, don't stress right off the bat that they have to be the one to penetrate you.

00:38:00.570 --> 00:38:05.550
State that it's a thing you're into and it's up to them if they want to partake.

00:38:05.909 --> 00:38:08.650
Let them come around on their own curiosity.

00:38:09.929 --> 00:38:12.409
That's a good way. I like it.

00:38:13.989 --> 00:38:15.550
Ooh, Allison is right on.

00:38:16.030 --> 00:38:21.150
The stigma against male anal receptivity is real and it sucks.

00:38:22.090 --> 00:38:27.090
I think the best thing to do is to start by exploring anal together using plugs or other toys.

00:38:27.710 --> 00:38:35.909
Pegging can be an intense sensation and I've seen women get too carried away by excitement by the excitement of wearing a strap on.

00:38:38.190 --> 00:38:40.389
I mean, butt plugs are fun.

00:38:41.670 --> 00:38:43.329
Especially ones that vibrate.

00:38:44.809 --> 00:38:47.789
Check out Lovin's. They got some fun ones.

00:38:49.090 --> 00:38:49.650
Okay.

00:38:51.309 --> 00:39:12.730
My whole point in doing this episode on pegging again is I more wanted to address why some men and some women enjoy it and maybe help remove some of the stigma attached to pegging because I feel like the last time I did an episode on pegging, I got a lot of amazing feedback.

00:39:13.190 --> 00:39:26.909
I just wanted to present an episode on what real men and real women out there think about it and their opinions and present some options, whatever the case may be just to give you information.

00:39:27.670 --> 00:39:31.610
Pegging can be very intimidating, but it's so worth it.

00:39:31.710 --> 00:39:34.489
I enjoy it. It's not for everyone and that's okay.

00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:40.539
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode.

00:39:41.139 --> 00:39:42.780
I appreciate you all.

00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:46.079
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being patient with me.

00:39:47.079 --> 00:39:50.440
Thank you for everybody that emails me with their feedback.

00:39:50.780 --> 00:39:54.699
I can't tell you how much it means to me to receive those emails.

00:39:56.900 --> 00:39:58.880
I consider you guys my friends.

00:39:59.019 --> 00:40:00.480
It's so fun chatting with you.

00:40:01.900 --> 00:40:05.719
Always, if anyone has questions, don't hesitate to reach out.

00:40:06.139 --> 00:40:07.619
I will get back to you as soon as I can.

00:40:07.860 --> 00:40:10.340
I'm sometimes terrible at it. I'm trying.

00:40:10.980 --> 00:40:14.300
But I love to hear from people. I love to hear your thoughts, ideas.

00:40:15.070 --> 00:40:16.099
It makes me happy.

00:40:17.219 --> 00:40:19.739
I hope everyone has a fantastic rest of their week.

00:40:20.139 --> 00:40:22.860
Be good human beings and be kind to one another.

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Love you all. Chat soon.